Would a friend help Bella?

[filardimarg-9]

As some of you will know, Bella spends most of her time in the bedroom only coming down at about 10pm has a look round, then goes under the table till we go to bed. I was wondering if a younger cat/kitten would give her more confidence ?
What do you think?

Marg.

[Lilith]

Ummm. It could go either way.

Bella might think, hey, cool, a friend, or a babe to mother.

Or she could think, grrrrr, MY territory! Sulk!

And it's a start, her coming down for a while in the evening - she's blossoming ... gradually ... And I'm sure you're making a big fuss of her. That sounds brilliant.

Sorry to be so inconclusive but (and I know I keep saying this) they're all so different ...

With lots of love to the bella Bella

[fjm]

Do you know her background? In general I have found that cats that have grown up together do well as companions, cats introduced later in life can have more mixed reactions, especially when it comes to sharing a house. A kitten might work, but there again it might undo all the progress you have made so far. I would not risk it, unless you are desperate for a more companionable cat, and prepared to divide the house in two if necessary!

[Ruth B]

Like the others say every cat is different and it is very hard to know how they will react to another in the house until one arrives.

I would say I'm not sure about a kitten or a young cat, I made that mistake myself, and looking back an older, docile cat would have been a better option, but we all make mistakes and it didn't go so wrong that i ever considered sending them back.

It might be worth having a word with the charity she came from and see if they have any idea of how she was with other cats, and possibly see if they have an older, submissive cat that would be a good companion to her. A submissive cat doesn't necessarily mean it won't be confident itself, it could just be one that is so laid back it doesn't worry about dominance. They might even be willing to let you have one on a trial for a few weeks to see how they get on.

[filardimarg-9]

Ok, thank you all for your replies........
I won't get another cat, Bella is coming on well, but I really hate the idea that Bella is still frightened of life, she loves a fuss, she is a lovely natured cat but just frightened.......I try to pick her up occasionally ^ show her out of the window, she is very interested for about 10/15 seconds then goes mad to get away, it is even worse if someone or a car goes past, she then seems terrified, I just hope she is happy here, she purrs now when I make a fuss of her.

[booktigger]

I think the biggest thing is time and patience, I've had Lucy for 2.5 years and something this past week or two has changed, and she's showing more affection, although I still get hissed at daily! She still has issues with cars after all this time too

[Lilith]

I think you've worked wonders with her, Marg. Some cats are just like that; there can be a trauma in their background but I have known two from birth that were never roughly treated, but both had difficult births and were very shy and wild. Almost like autistic children. My youngest one I've had for over 7 years since she was adolescent, and there's no way could I pick her up for a cuddle even now, she's still a mix of aggression and possessiveness. Little horror grrr but I love her.

I agree with Booktigger, and it is rewarding, getting their confidence ... well, you know, what much their majesties will deign to give us humble cat worshippers lol