Is it time?

[ILoveMyCats]

My 13 year old cat has mouth cancer. I have had to take the decision to put a pet to sleep many times before and always known when the time was right. But it is different this time. My baby still has energy and attitude, he even played a little tonight. He doesn't seem unhappy. BUT. He is not able to eat, his tongue doesn't seem to work properly. He is hungry and begging for food and we tried everything. My husband was able to get some A/D food into him with a syringe but even that obviously hurt the cat's mouth. Even though he was eager to eat.

I live in a country with good vet care but they do not do chemo or feeding tubes here. He was diagnosed a month ago and had an infection then which went away with antibiotics but is back so he is on his second round of antibiotics. He gets steroids and is up to the maximum amount. Pain killers don't mix well with steroids they say, so he is not on any. Steroids are supposed to work like sort of pain-killers. But also make his appetite bigger.

So we already maid the decision that tomorrow is the day we would let him go. But I am second guessing myself, thinking that he isn't sick sick. He has appetite, he has energy, he is loving, he is not withdrawing. But his mouth does hurt and he is hungry but unable to eat. This morning it almost broke my heart when he desperately tried to lick butter (his favourite) from my finger but was unable to. If we don't put him to sleep tomorrow we will postpone the inevitable with some days. At that time he will have become weak due to undernourishment which might make it easier for me to go through with this but will do him no service.

I go in circles here. Please help! What would you do?

[bobbys girl]

I am so sorry to hear about your cat. You have the hardest decision to make. I once went through something similar with a dog of 17. She was physically in good health for a dog of such advanced years. But she was often very confused. She would ask to go outside, stand there looking lost, then come in and wee in the hall. She would get very upset and fretful. It wasn't fair on her. We called the vet to come to the house and she passed, peacefully in her favourite chair.

I don't know much about mouth cancer in cats. But I know it can be very painful and can progress very quickly. I'm sure there are better treatments than Chemo out there, but it may be too late to put him through that, especially since many alternative treatments rely on diet.

I can't tell you what you should do. But please know that we are here for you.

[Kay]

Being desperately hungry but unable to eat must be physically and mentally hard on your boy, and unlike you he doesn't understand his suffering

It will be less traumatic for you and him if he is spared a few more days of starvation - l have always aimed for a peaceful goodbye rather than an emergency one

You will mourn him very much, but it will help to know you made his passing as easy as you could

[ILoveMyCats]

Thank you both!

As I said, I have never struggled this much with this decision before. Maybe part of it is that he is the last one left of a "oh-not-so-holy-trinity", as we used to call them when they were up to no good. Our oldest died at the age of 16 last summer and another one, who loved people so so much and was loved by many grandchildren, passed of kidney failure only 10 years old, three years ago.

Reading both of your responses helps me, in my heart I know it is time. There is no cure for him and it will only get worse. Time to be strong for him and let him join his friend. One day I hope to see them again. I will call tomorrow morning and get a vet to come home, so we can make this peacefully. Also good for the two young cats in the house, 3 year old siblings, to be able to say goodbye.

Can't believe this is going to happen.

[Ruth B]

I am so sorry to hear about your poor lad, but I have to agree, you have made the right decision.

Once one of mine was diagnosed with Stomach cancer, she became ill very quickly over the weekend, didn't want to eat or drink. We took her to the vets on the Monday evening and the vet found it straight away. He gave her steroids to see if it would help, I do wonder now if it was more for our benefit than her's, it was so sudden and it gave us 24 more hours with her to accept what was to come. The steroids made her hungry enough that she would drag herself to the food bowl, eat, then almost collapse beside it. They forced her to try and eat, but couldn't give her back her desire to live. For your boy it must be even worse, he desperately wants to eat and can't.

Mine have always gone to the vets at the end, i think it is more for my sake then for any other reason, if I take them to the vets I can fool myself for that little bit longer that they are only ill and a quick check up and an injections and they will be fine again. fortunately the vet isn't far for me, and they have always been extremely good and understanding. I can however understand that getting it done at home would also make it as peaceful an end as it can be.

A final fuss to your boy, and hugs to you.

[fjm]

So sad for you, but I am sure it is the right decision. He will only get hungrier, and more distressed - it is very hard, but yes, I think it is time.

[Kay]

I had my Trigger euthanized at home, in his own bed - it was as easy as such a sad event can be - he didn't get distressed, and I was spared that awful journey home

we all have to bow down to the inevitable at the end, but it helps enormously if you don't have horrible memories which keep playing over in your mind

[booktigger]

I'm so sorry to hear this, I had a cat with mouth cancer who also didn't appear ill, but he was losing weight because he couldn't eat enough, and I decided that wasn't fair on him - I had a cat previously with intestinal lymphoma and I couldn't make that decision, the vet told me I had to because the alternative was her starving to death, which helped me make up my mind the second time round.

[ILoveMyCats]

Thank you all for the support, responses and sharing your experiences. It is truly helpful and helps calm my mind.

My boy was begging for food this morning, very hungry and he tried so so hard to eat but was totally unable to, even from a syringe. At that point I had already called the vet's office to see if somebody could come home and was waiting for them to call back. They finally did, saying it could not happen until after 2 days but no way were we going to let him starve those days.

So I went and got a sedative to give my cat at home. After he fell a sleep my husband and I took him to the clinic where he was put to sleep, in our arms, loved till the very end and beyond. Forever.

I know we did the right thing. But oh dear how heartbroken I am.

[fjm]

The last and kindest gift - but I am crying with you. It never gets easier...

[Kay]

so sad - I hope he's tucking into a big bowl of his favourite food on the Bridge

[booktigger]

I'm so sorry, but you have released him from his pain and suffering, RIP little one

[ILoveMyCats]

I wish there was a "like" button like on facebook Too tired to say anything, it's been a long and emotional day. So glad you guys were here.

[bobbys girl]

RIP little one, until we meet again. (Hugs) to you. xx

[Antonio]

It's late, but I want to give my contribute.

My beloved cat had mouth carcinoma and died March last year. I had to syringe feed her for months, until one day I realized that the procedure was too stressful and painful to her and in the last attempt to keep her with me some more days, I asked the vets to put a feeding tube.
But this experience was shortly lived, my wonderful and amazingly beautiful cat died two days later. She couldn't take it anymore and I called the vet home who arrived an hour later and put an end to her suffering and to my months-long experience with a SCC cat.

It's 14 months, 3 weeks and 4 days today, but the pain of her loss is still alive, I still cry when I think of her. I think this pain is never going to leave me.

I do hope your grieving will be shorter and lighter than mine.
RIP Little Warrior