Advice needed cat being aggressive towards children

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Danzavella
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Advice needed cat being aggressive towards children

Post by Danzavella »

First time posting so please don't judge me.
Our cat has been with us for 2 years, he's been neutered and has never been treated inappropriately by us. I have a 5 year old and a new born in the house. The cat has his boundaries where he doesn't like to be touched and will only accept fuss on his terms but that didn't really seem to be a problem. However he has always had a small issue with our 5 year old from the beginning. Our child is not aggressive towards the cat even when he is attacked by him. Sometimes he only has to walk past the cat to be swiped at or the cat will randomly just attack our child even if he is sat watching tv not moving.
I understand having a newborn in the house will be stressful for our cat but the attacks on our 5 year old seemed to increase within the last few months and further more since the newborn has arrived. I have tried to introduce them but he is so spooked by the baby. I am scared to death that he is going to attack my newborn who cannot defend himself and I need advice.
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Lilith
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Re: Advice needed cat being aggressive towards children

Post by Lilith »

Hi and welcome (and no-one's going to judge you :) )

I have a cat who's just the same. She came from a home with children and a newborn, and she'd run upstairs to the children's bedroom, jump on the bed, and smack their faces. Her general behaviour was aggressive, and the parents worried about what she might do to the baby. I never saw the interaction between cat and children and can't say what the children's behaviour was like, but I will say that I've had a cat before that had apparently been roughnecked with and very aggressive, but he calmed down in quite a short while. Molly never has, although after 7 years she's improving, and I think there are some cats who, without any provocation, just don't like being touched and handled except on their terms (a phrase that I've often used about Molly.) I've looked for reasons, including a difficult birth (another two of mine were breech-born and almost never made it, and caesarian-born, and had the same dislike of being touched or picked up) so I think that often that is just how the cat is.

To make matters worse, your cat is probably very stressed out by all the activity, noise, change, new smells, of a baby, and is also picking up on the understandable stress it's causing you (even a welcome life-change is a stress, they say, and a baby's an enormous life-change I imagine, or rather can't begin to imagine.)

Hopefully other people with more experience will post replies, but I'll mention what's worked for Molly and me. A keyword is 'No tigers!' when she wants to play rough, which can be caused just by seeing my hand trailing along the banister. Or just 'no!' Spoken in a low hissy tone. The same if I forget and stroke her when she's not ready for it and she turns round on me and smacks me or bites. Then I'll withdraw and ignore her for a few minutes. If she really does get me, I'll keep still - I've years' experience of keeping snakes and have had to learn this trick if the snake (out of enthusiasm) has struck at my hand instead of its lunch. Again the low-voice, the 'no', a whisper or hiss of, naughty girl (well you get the gist.)

Sorry, this sounds a bit ridiculous typed out and I'm not sure how you could adapt it to a five year old's use, but it has worked.

On the other hand, when she IS being a good girl, Molly gets loads of praise. For anything. Even just for using her tray or letting me stroke her. She doesn't care for Dreamies and treats, or I could reinforce the praise and attention with these, too. I try to make it clear that although I've told her off, that's water under the bridge and she still merits loads of attention and love.

Again, with a baby and a five year old you may feel that embarking on a course of cat psychology is a bit much, but you could try including the cat in the conversation while you're feeding the baby, talking to the five year old, getting the five year old to keep telling the cat he's a good boy ... Again sorry if this sounds ridiculous lol :oops:

And we're all of us only human - there are days when you lose patience (I certainly do!) and in my low hissy voice say, you dratted cat! But just go on with the reassurance after you feel calmer. I think the cat gets the idea.

There is one last thing about Molly. The little horror comes and sits on the bed and claws at the duvet cover, pulling threads, and won't stop it. One day I got irritated and gave her a gentle mauling on her shoulder-blades (taking her scruff, which she likes, and rocking her gently to and fro) and she stopped and lay down and purred and I realised that I could continue the 'mauling' to her ears and even her face, which she's never permitted before. We had a win-win situation. She'd done as she was told, but I'd managed to handle her and so we were both happy. More trust between us. (So now she gets up on the bed and plucks at the duvet in order to get her 'scruffle' lol. Ah well ...)

Sorry for the blog, but hope some of it helps. I imagine you need as little stress as possible in your present situation, which I do hope calms down with time. All the very very best, and good luck :)
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Janey
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Re: Advice needed cat being aggressive towards children

Post by Janey »

Hi and welcome. No judgement at all, it’s good that you’re asking for help to sort it out.

I have a cat like Lilith’s, she came to us - a quiet home, from a very busy home with lots of kids and pets, but that’s all I know. I agree with what Lilith has said. My cat used to be a lot worse than she is now, she used to lash out for no reason but just a firm no! and no reaction, when she does this and positive reinforcement, fusses, treats etc when she’s good, and in your case especially when the kids are around, so she will associate the kids with good things, works very well, but can take time. The link below may be helpful too:

https://www.catchat.org/index.php/cat-b ... aggression
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fjm
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Re: Advice needed cat being aggressive towards children

Post by fjm »

While I agree that with time and patience your cat's behaviour might improve, I think the risk to your baby is just too great. I believe there are occasions when rehoming is best for everyone, and I think this is one of those times. Your cat may do very well in an adult only home, with a calm and regular routine, and if I were in your position I would start looking for such a home immediately. At the moment it is fairly easy to keep cat and baby apart, but as your baby becomes more mobile the risk is likely to increase. I would start the process now, while there is time to look for a home that is a really good fit for your cats needs.
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