My cat has changed, I need help please!

[MakaylaS24]

My cats name is Juna and I've had her for almost two years now. She is a year and 7 months old. She is from my previous cats liter so I have had her since she was born. She has always been close and loving to me and when I moved back to my grandmothers she was still the same. My grandmother told me after about 2 months that I had to get rid of her. She is not a nice woman and there is no reasoning with her. My friend said that she will keep her until I get my own place. So we moved her to my friends and she was fine there. I would go over there everyday to be with her and see her and we still had a close connection. Then I got my old job back. I started working more hours and wasn't able to come over as often and thats when it started. She began her heat and I would try to pick her up like I normally would and she hissed and swiped at me. After that she became more distant and would hiss, growl, swipe, and attack me. I've tried just sitting with her, giving her treats, letting her come to me but nothing worked. Sometimes she would let me touch her and pet her but it was very slim.

I know a main problem is that she hasn't been Spayed yet and that will probably help with her temper and she has had a few shots but I still need to take her to the vet. I have had very bad money issues for the time that I have had her so its been hard for me not being able to take her to the vet, but now my money problems are being fixed and payed for so I will have what I will need to take her because I know that change in anger could mean something could be wrong with her. Just yesterday I was able to finally get her back after long talks with my grandmother. She has still been very distant, growling, hissing at me at some points but will come in my room every once and a while and come to me and rub on me, then immediately change and hiss and growl again. I don't understand why she has become like this and its breaking me. I love her so much and I don't want her to hate me. She's my baby and I will love her forever and I just want to be able to hold and love her again, it's heart breaking.


If anyone has any tips or tricks into trying to gain her trust and love again? Some info on what might be going on if anyone has had the same happen to them? I love her so much and she is all I have and I can't emotionally handle her hating me anymore. I really need someone's help and answers because I want her to be happy and loving and I don't want her to feel stressed anymore. Please help, its heart braking for me not to have her cuddling with me and playing. I just love her so much

[issiandarchie+68]

She looks a very sweet cat, reminds me of my Cody. She doesn't hate you honey, neither does she have a temper,she is just very confused, insecure and maybe just a little scared. In her short life, she has settled in with you, then lived with your grandmother, then lifted again to live with your friend, no sooner claimed her territory, formed an attachment and settled down than hey presto, she is suddenly lifted off her paws, popped in a carrier and released back at your Grandmother's house, all strange new smells and a woman who clearly resents her. Poor wee mite is obviously unhappy, she is still young, doesn't know if she is coming or going, who to trust. I feel for you, you obviously adore her, your heart must be broken, but I think you have to accept you are now a stranger to her, the best thing for all is to take her back to your friend's house, if she will have her, let her be happy. You can still see her, focus on forming a loving friendship, knowing she is being well cared for. After all, your Gran chucked her out once, who is to say she won't do it again? Or indeed how she relates to her when you are not around?

Issi

[Lilith]

Hi, Makayla, if you're having money worries you may be able to get subsidised spaying for Juna -

https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/neutering

She does sound confused, but girls can get very mixed up and bad tempered and frustrated when not spayed, and I think you may well see a big difference once her hormones have calmed down. All the very best with her

[MakaylaS24]

She looks a very sweet cat, reminds me of my Cody. She doesn't hate you honey, neither does she have a temper,she is just very confused, insecure and maybe just a little scared. In her short life, she has settled in with you, then lived with your grandmother, then lifted again to live with your friend, no sooner claimed her territory, formed an attachment and settled down than hey presto, she is suddenly lifted off her paws, popped in a carrier and released back at your Grandmother's house, all strange new smells and a woman who clearly resents her. Poor wee mite is obviously unhappy, she is still young, doesn't know if she is coming or going, who to trust. I feel for you, you obviously adore her, your heart must be broken, but I think you have to accept you are now a stranger to her, the best thing for all is to take her back to your friend's house, if she will have her, let her be happy. You can still see her, focus on forming a loving friendship, knowing she is being well cared for. After all, your Gran chucked her out once, who is to say she won't do it again? Or indeed how she relates to her when you are not around?

Issi

Thank you and when moving to my grandmas ive been with her the whole time and I am now because I live with my grandma, and the only reason my grandma wanted me to get rid of her the first time was because she was still young and wreaked somethings of her and shes not that much of a cat person but she still loves her as well. And now that shes a little older shes calmer now than when she was in her baby stage and Im going to be getting my own place soon as well. Thank you so much tho for a little more information c: it makes me feel a bit better

[Ruth B]

I have to agree that all the upheaval is likely to have upset her and she doesn't feel secure anymore or know where she belongs, however I feel that given time and a bit of patience she will come around again. it could be she also remembers your Grandmother and her house and remembers it a being somewhere she felt threatened, If you can arrange it with your Grandmother to let her have a safe place where she can go and hide and no one will bother her it could help a lot. I know it's hard when they seem upset, but the safe place has to be somewhere where she is left alone to come out again when she feels she wants to, and that includes you leaving her alone in there and not trying to pull her out and comfort her, a quick check and a bit of gentle fuss and then leave her to come out when she wants. A cat bed, or even a pile of old towels at the back of a cupboard or the bottom of a wardrobe can make a wonderful hidey hole for a cat.

There is one other thought, as she isn't yet spayed is there any chance that a tom could have got to her and she is pregnant. It isn't something I know much about but i have heard that a pregnant cat can change it's personality a lot due to the change in hormone levels.

As you already know getting her spayed will make the major change as constantly coming into heat and not getting satisfaction is a frustration for her and could well be most of the problem.