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Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 9:32 pm
by Inkycat
I’ve had Inky for about a month, she’s an adult female, spayed, healthy as far as the rescue said. Twice in the last week she has gone to the toilet on my bed, the first time I think was because I had a hooded litter tray and I don’t think she was used to it so I’ve taken the lid off it and she seemed happy with that. Today I don’t know, I’ve got a dog here that she’s not used to but the dog has ignored her and I’ve given Inky the bedroom as her space and I’m not letting the dog in there. I know the dog being here isn’t ideal, I’m really quite stressed about this. It always soaks through absolutely everything including the mattress and I’m really worried that the smell will linger despite cleaning. What if she keeps doing this? Why is she doing this? I’m really frustrated, I’m trying my best but it’s like it’s not enough

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 10:47 pm
by Lilith
Ugh - and so would I be stressed. Hopefully other people will be along with more advice as to the whys and wherefores but although I've no experience of this myself (I've had some champion sprayers, both male and female, and illicit piddlers in my time, but nobody has used the bed) I do have a royal python who, sitting on my knee as I helped him with a shedding skin, doused me and my bed! Royals generally save everything up for just after shedding ... I knew it, but left it too late. Weeks of python piddle all over the damn mattress!

After telling darling Shahi (not lol) what a clever boy he was and stowing him back in his vivarium, this is what I did. I doused the area in F10 veterinary disinfectant and placed a puppy pad, absorbent side down, on top of the wet, and kept changing it. As soon as I could I bought some Febreze and used that. I would have liked to air it during the day but I use the bed as a sofa. Mercifully it stopped smelling very soon - and python wee smells terrible - and the puppy pads stopped any wet reaching me or the fresh bedding. Everything else, bedding, my trousers etc, went in the washing machine ... apparently biological washing liquid is excellent for getting rid of any traces of wee smell. It's said that even a cat, returning to the spot, won't be able to tell, because they usually can, and of course if they detect their own scent, they think, oh right, yes, this is mine; Niagara! I used to have a cat called The Leopard, and she never changed her spots ... But that was long before I found this forum.

Joking apart, I really sympathise; it's a horrible problem to have and you must feel desperate. As you say, why do they do it? My younger cat had a stage of cramming her backside into the peg basket and weeing in there ... I mean, the peg basket?

They are mystifying sometimes, and I do hope you find a solution to this problem soon - all the best!

ps - I also wondered - is it possible to cover the bed with something waterproof, like a cheap shower curtain? It's quite possible she would dislike even jumping up on a surface like this. Good luck.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:22 am
by fjm
I suspect she is upset by the dog invading her space - she could be marking the highest object in the room, or feel unsafe about getting down on the floor. I would certainly find something waterproof to put over the bed, with an easily washable fleece blanket on top for her. Try washing the bed linen etc with biological powder to clear the smell, and spray the mattress thoroughly with one of the enzymatic pet cleaning fluids - I have found Simple Solution very effective, and you can get it in a giant container. If the dog is a permanent addition to the household it would be worth working on making her more comfortable around him; if he is only with you temporarily it is probably easier to just manage the situation with a waterproof throw.

It is possible, of course, that she has a urinary infection - if it continues it would be sensible to have your vet check her just in case.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 8:44 am
by Mollycat
Inky has only been with you a month, only. She may be settling well but her new home is still new to her.

The dog may not bother her directly but it is an intruder in her new home and then she has been confined to the bedroom, and if she's not used to being put in one room this is a new experience too. Unless the bedroom is her chosen safe place, this is probably a bit unsettling too.

Peeing in a corner or somewhere there is a threat from outside is one thing - peeing on something that she knows matters to you is more likely a protest. Don't panic. Give her time and be patient.

Was the litter tray in the bedroom with her? If not, and she couldn't or didn't want to run the gauntlet of the dog, that might not have helped.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:06 am
by Ruth B
I have to agree with the others that the cause is likely to be the dog upsetting her, whatever you do try not to scold her, she is just trying to make sure everyone knows that this is her place. Like has been said wash as much of the bedding in a machine using bio washing powder/liquid/capsule and try and clean the mattress with an enzyme cleaner not bleach. Black bin bags cut open can make a good emergency waterproof cover. Make sure she has an easily accessible litter tray and give her plenty of fuss so she knows she isn't being pushed out.

In the long run I would advise anyone who has cats to invest in waterproof mattress covers. We got one many years ago as they are also hypoallergenic and stop the dust from the mattress, and we thought it would help my asthma. When our old Ragdoll was at the end of his life, we went to work one day with him curled up on the bed, i made an appointment to take him to the vets in hope that they might be able to give him something to make him better. We got home and he was still where he had been, we took him to the vets and unfortunately all agreed that old age had caught up with him and nothing could be done, so we made the decision to call it a day for him and let him go. We got home heartbroken, as is normal after one of those visits, but it wasn't until 10.30 ish when we decided to go to bed that we realised he had been lying on the bed all day and had become incontinent and just lying in it. We had to strip the bed, every thing was soaked, bedspread, quilt, sheets, mattress protector, but then we found it had done it's job, the mattress was bone dry. We could make up the bed again and sleep on it. The next day we went out and bought another protector so we would always have one to change onto. It has never been needed again, but for that one night it was worth every penny spent on them. There is always the chance that something will happen again, but at least I have peace of mind knowing the mattress will stay dry.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:32 pm
by Inkycat
Thank you everyone, I’ve ordered a feliway plug in and cystease to arrive tomorrow. I’ve now left all doors open but the dog is not allowed in the bedroom and she’s listening to that. Inky walked through today but she got scared and ran back to the bedroom but the dog didn’t chase her, so I’m hoping that will make her feel a bit safer. I’ve got an extra litter tray out and I’ve been taking the dog with me whenever I go out to give Inky a break. She did a poo in the litter tray today and got lots of praise for that but so far no wee anywhere that I can see. I had to scrub the bed again so it’s still not ready to sleep on but I’m goibg to sleep on the bedroom floor with Inky so she’s not on her own.
I will get a waterproof mattress protector thank you

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:59 pm
by Alice
I've not been in Asda recently, but I have seen mattress protectors there at very reasonable prices, probably available online if you're not near a branch - worth a look. I seem to remember someone on here recommending them from Asda, too.

I hope you can soon resolve the situation and get Inky to use her litter tray regularly.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 7:25 am
by Ruth B
Mine came from Asda, so it might have been me you saw recommending them, although I would guess they are available at a lot of places.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 4:54 pm
by lilynmitz
If someone introduced a very large grizzly bear into my house, I'd be pretty freaked out, even if it did mostly ignore me. Specially if I could now only have one safe room instead of the whole house. That's how your cat feels about the dog. However well behaved it is, it's still a dog, it has invaded her safe territory (ie the rest of the house) and she's struggling to cope. As others have said, please don't blame the cat for peeing on your bed, she needs lots of reassuring and peace at the moment. Make sure her litter tray is always clean and accessible in her safe room (ideally have two), and put a mattress protector over the entire bed (including quilt) so you don't have to stress about the damaged linen.

I used to have a blind cat who would pee on the door mat or the hearth rug whenever he wasn't coping with life. There was no point having a go at him, he was just responding to stressors he couldn't control. It drove me mental, but I never let him know that. I just learnt to work out what it was that frightened him (mostly people knocking on the door rather than using the door bell), minimised the risk of him being stressed again (a notice by the door mostly sorted that) and gave him lots of love and reassurance, and that largely stopped the problem.

How long is the dog with you for? Is there any way you could perhaps come to another arrangement with its owner, as this really isn't fair on either you, or the cat.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:58 pm
by Inkycat
For the third time since Saturday it’s happened again. Always late in the evening, I don’t have spare bedding which means another night spent sleeping on the floor under a blanket. I’m honestly so frustrated and don’t know how much more of this I can deal with. Don’t need advice particularly, I know I need to just get over it, just really feeling at the end of my tether

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:19 pm
by Lilith
So would I be - mad mad mad :x grrrr! Don't blame you.

Do hope you find a solution soon!

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:07 pm
by Inkycat
If she’s not happy then should I take her back? She always used her litter tray there. I’m honestly worried to come home in case she’s done something. I can’t keep doing washing and scrubbing my mattress at midnight and later. I’m so so so frustrated and really upset like nothing I’m doing is right

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 5:29 am
by Mollycat
What is the situation with the dog, exactly? Is the dog here permanently, or for a short time? This might make some difference to what we can suggest.

Did you get some kind of waterproof cover for the bed? That would at least protect the bed while we all help you figure this out.

I went back and read your original post, so much frustration and self-blame. Inky will pick up on this tension from you if she is bonding with you, but she won't understand why you are so frustrated. It's not your fault that Inky is doing this and it isn't her fault either, it's some kind of distress she is in that you have the power to help her with. Being brutally honest with yourself, are you seeing the symptom, or the distress? Are you focused on helping her to feel at home and safe, or on stopping her from causing inconvenience to you?

One of my cats gets very upset and scared whenever she is sick and I always have to take a few minutes reassuring her before I can clean up, and I talk to her the whole time I am cleaning, telling her she is a good girl it's ok and we don't get told off for furballs in this house. Once I have finished I give her space to come out of her hiding place when she is ready and give me the high tail flick signal that she's ok now.

Are you spending lots of time with Inky? If she is more or less confined to the bedroom, are you giving her less than you were before the dog showed up? While you are cleaning up, is she still in the room with you, observing your stress and with big bedsheets moving around ... that could feel threatening to her? If she is a clean cat as 99% of them are, she will be upset about what she has done as well as picking up on your stress.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 5:58 am
by Lilith
Inkycat wrote: Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:07 pm If she’s not happy then should I take her back? She always used her litter tray there. I’m honestly worried to come home in case she’s done something. I can’t keep doing washing and scrubbing my mattress at midnight and later. I’m so so so frustrated and really upset like nothing I’m doing is right
Sorry, I missed this. Very good advice from Mollycat. I would feel frustrated though; it's an awful problem to have. Yes, did you get or make a waterproof cover? It might make all the difference. One of my cats 'owns' my bed these days (I'm permitted to share it) but she was very annoyed the time I bought a duck feather duvet. It was Crunchy, she said, and wouldn't set foot on it for a long time. The same thing happened the other week when I changed the duvet cover. Oh no, she said. Too clean. Different. Not sitting on that. Even if you put several binbags over the bed, naughty Inky might simply be discouraged from getting on to it in the first place and get out of this habit - I say naughty and in your place I'd be cursing like mad but of course Inky herself is confused and thinks somehow that that is the place to pee ...

Only you can make the decision as to whether to take her back. One thing does occur to me - did the dog get on the bed before her arrival? If so, it could be that that triggered off the urine-marking of the bed. Is there another room she could be confined in to save the bed while you're away and she's settling in? Or the dog confined while she has the rest of the house?

Again, good luck and everything crossed here for you all.

Re: Weeing on my bed

Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:48 pm
by Mayday21
Hi Inkycat have no advice other than do you have a bathroom you could put her litter tray in as well as a cat bed for her to curl up in & leave her there while she gets in the habit of using the tray? Are you using the same litter as the rescue org? Is she messing on your bed when the tray’s been used? Vivian

Urinating on bed

Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 5:10 pm
by Catotum
Well, I've had two adopted cats (no dog in the house) who've both urinated on my bed (on the duvet, actually - how'd s/he ever get to the mattress?) off & on for the first fortnight. I don't really know why, other that the surroundings were unfamiliar & in the cattery the litter tray had been right by the bed.

You might have decided to return her already. Did they tell you s/he would be OK with a dog? You could just say that s/he isn't. Apart from infections, fear can make a susceptible cat urinate.

It won't help the cat that you are stressed. I think your adoptee probably needs rehoming.