Cat Chat Feline Forum

I have three cats: two males and a female. The males, who are both neutered, are best of buddies. Charlie(2yrs old), and Sam(4yrs old). The thing is these two love chasing and "playing" with my girl Daisy(5yrs old). I feel like its a game to them. They stalk her, and it sometimes it gets so crazy, I actually think they are trying to kill her. Fur flies, and screeches echo the house! She hates them, and it's gotten to the point where Daisy is scared to walk in the house. She hides all day, and at the first sight of the boys she will start hissing and growling. That, of course, draws their attention, and the game begins again. Although sometimes when I can get her to calm down, the boys don't pay attention to her.
Daisy used to be okay sitting on these high shelves I've got in my living room. When she was up there, she could silently watch all that was happening, and there wasn't that many fights. The boys never went up on the shelves... but now they do. Her hiding spot is gone. Nowadays, she hides under my bed. I've tried feeding them together, but Daisy will always finish first, and then will run away. The boys will actually stop eating to chase her. I also play with the boys almost everyday to try to drain their energy. I'm not sure what else I can do at this point. I've consulted my vet, and the only advice I got was to keep them separate. Thats what its come to now. They are separated, most of the time. I just don't think its fair to Daisy. She also over grooms herself sometimes. I feel so bad, and sometimes i think that I'm just at a loss. Maybe the best thing would be to rehome her...
Does anyone have any suggestions? Advice? Tips? I'd be happy to answer any more questions, that could possibly help my situation. I also forgot to mention that Daisy is spayed. Thank you!

Oh poor little Daisy! I'm so sorry to hear about this. I think you've summed up the situation very well when you said 'when I get her to calm down, the boys don't pay attention to her'. I have aha similar issue at home between two of the cats where the growling and hissing with fear is seen by the other as a challenge and a victim/prey dynamic is in operation. Daisy managed to tolerate this whilst she had safe places to go (especially high place, which signify dominance) but now this has gone, which is reinforcing the victim dynamic of Daisy. She hasn't got the thinking skills to get out of this negative pattern.

Breaking the chain of behaviour is the hard thing. If she became more assertive they would probably lose interest - while she acts like a scared rabbit - even going to ground like a rabbit - that's exactly what she is to them and she must be getting quite traumatised to be over grooming herself.

I think to be honest she needs some time apart from these two - and then maybe a reintroduction, using bonding procedures suggested in the help pages here. This could be achieved by her going to stay with a friend or family member for a while, or even a time in a (nice caring) cattery where she can get respite from these two. The problem is that fear is such a primitive response it's very hard to break it, especially when she gets regular reinforcement that she's right to be afraid! Somehow you have to prevent these attacks, which may be play from the boys but are certainly not for her.

I do hope you can find some ongoing solution to this, otherwise she may well be better in another home. :-(

Two of mine can be a bit like this - Elsie seems to think its great fun to chase Bagheera or to pinch her favourite sleeping places so Bagheera rarely comes into the living room. I have to bribe her in with treats and then set up a sleeping spot for her and make sure Elsie doesn't push her off it again. Once Elsie has been on it then Bagheera doesn't want it!!

Can you perhaps move any of the furniture around or introduce something new (high shelves or the top of a cupboard) for Daisy alone to retreat to so she can keep an eye on the two boys? And then you'll literally have to tell the boys off if they go up there. I quite often have to change things around so that Bagheera has a fresh place she can relax.

And if you think the boys are stressing her out, making her overgroom, have you considered zyklene for Daisy? It's a natural supplement you can put in their food to help stressful situations - it might just help her relax around them for a bit and restore her confidence? Or I know that some others on here have tried Bachs Flower Remedies to help family dynamics - perhaps someone can recommend some that will help? I hope that something helps as they don't sound too fractious - just a bit over zealous!!

Thank you both!!!! I think I will try some of those things! I only tried a natural remedy once,but it was a collar, andgave them all rashes. Thanks again though, very much!!