British blue that doesn't purr (yet!)

[Saga Silverdans]

I am the joyous owner of a 3 yr old rescue british blue/shorthair called Luna(tic), I have had him for almost 3 weeks. He stays indoors in my flat. He has transformed massively, much more confident and goes crazy at Luna'clock playtime (8pm onwards!) but i have yet to hear him purr! I worry that he isn't happy and what I can do to improve that. I talk to him a lot, play with him and try and pick him up in the mornings when he is most willing (before breakfast!). I know these cats have a lot of reserve but I have also read that they are affectionate and purr. I don't know his background. He's not a scaredy cat but definitely doesn't like me too close and only on occasion a stroke. Any suggestions and advice very welcome! I am considering trying to get him on a lead as I don't like that he has to be indoors all the time but this will take months of trust building!

[Ruth B]

Cats will purr for many different reasons, not only because they are happy, but they also have many other ways of showing they are happy and content in their life. I have one cat that I've had for 5 and only recently heard her purr. She was a scaredy cat when we got her so expected it to take a long time for her to really settle, and while I didn't hear her purr i could tell she was happy with her life here. Lately I have heard her purr a couple of times and realised that it is so quiet that she was probably being overshadowed by other sounds, particularly my other cats purring. While I have no experience of British Blues, it sounds like you have a happy cat there, eating, playing and interacting on his terms.

Try and learn what interaction he does enjoy, if he isn't keen on being picked up or stroked that much, what about a scratch behind the ears or a rub under the chin. Every cat is different, some love to be cuddled, some are a bit more standoffish but still love attention on their terms.

As for harness training so he can go out a bit I think it is a wonderful idea, yes, as you realise it won't happen over night and you will have to work with him to get him to wear a harness, but that is time you spend with him and will help build your relationship. I would suggest checking out Jackson Galaxy on Youtube, he has done several videos about taking cats for walks and using clicker training to help get them use to the harness. He is also very good when it comes to 'catifying' your home to give him an enriched environment inside.

I will also add I did know one cat when i was a teenager that never purred. The family had adopted him after he had been involved in an accident. When the vet examined him he found he had a ruptured diaphragm, as well as a chest infection (which had actually helped keep his organs where they belonged), and something wrong with his eyes, not sure if it was a result of the accident, an infection or what, he also probably had other problems, he wasn't really expected to survive, but he did, but never purred. We will never know why he didn't, but I suspect that something was damaged that meant he couldn't. You have no idea what yours has been through in the past, so as long as he appears happy and content then I wouldn't worry about not hearing him purr.

[Mollycat]

Agree with Ruth it make take time or he might just be a not very purry kind of cat. Or he might have a 'subsonic' purr like my Henry, so low it's very hard to hear. The more you watch him (who can take their eyes off a relaxed contented cat?) you might notice at times his breathing go double speed even though he is relaxed - that can be when he is sniffing, which will be obvious, or that can be a purr. Also if he will accept a gentle stroke of his chin and upper chest you might feel the rumble of a purr but not hear it.

There are plenty of other signs of a happy contented cat. A big relaxed wash, narrowed eyes, slow blinks at you or at the world in general. Looking at you, weaving around your legs, tail high. Raising his tail when he walks into a room and spots you there, or when you call him. Lying flat on his side, not with his feet under him ready to run. Greeting you when you come home, rubbing his head on your ankles, or that little hop to reach your hand when you bend down to stroke him. He might purr when you put his favourite food down.

I have a girl who is 13 now and has been with me for 7 years next month, she has sat on my lap twice and once between me and my partner. You'd think she wasn't keen on cuddles but nothing could be further from the truth, she just doesn't do laps. But 2 to 5 times a day she wants between 10 minutes and half an hour of me lying on the bed with her or next to her on her radiator bed with my arm around her, stroking and rubbing her cheeks and under her chin ... she's a nightmare for stopping me getting things done! They just don't all read the manual and like to show appreciation and give love and share cuddles in their own unique way.

[Saga Silverdans]

Thankyou so much, both Ruth and Mollycat, really lovely to get your advice and kind words. He certainly has begun doing a lot of twirling around my legs and a few chirrups and as you say, each cat is very much his own! every day is a little improvement in interaction and confidence which makes me feel he is getting happier but I worry about not doing enough for him. Hence the worry about the purr. But comforting to hear your thoughts! Great to get the link to harness training, thank you, he is such a clever thing and I think might be fun and willing to train... although the thought of getting a harness on seems ridiculous now! I hope in a few months I come back with a different story! X

[Saga Silverdans]

He purred this morning!! *

[Mollycat]

He purred this morning!! *

Hurrah! Lovely news, thank you for sharing.

[fjm]

Excellent news! He just needed a little more time.

[Ruth B]

Great news, hopefully he will go from strength to strength and you soon won't be able to hear yourself think over the sound of his purr.

[Saga Silverdans]

haha, oh i hope!! thankyou allX

[Saga Silverdans]

Sadly I just had a bit of a shocking (for me!) episode with Luna. I was on a video call to a friend and playing with him slightly absentmindedly, he was on the bed next to me. He miaowed and it sounded really strange. He rarely miaows and if he does it seems to mean he wants to play. But this was something different, quite wild sounding. I tried to stroke his head and he did the same miaow then lashed out at me. From nowhere! I'm used to him going crazy when he plays but this was totally different and vicious. I've had him a month now and thought he was doing so well. Could it be that he hates being trapped inside a small flat? He seemed fine until that moment. Now I feel wary of him. Someone said that there were fireworks for the nhs tonight, I didn't hear them but they may have spooked him?

[Mollycat]

Absent-mindedly could be a big clue there, it's too easy to miss the signs that they are getting annoyed when your attention is somewhere else and even easier to do something that annoys them. At this stage I wouldn't be wary of a problem, just be aware that this was probably a warning that he's had enough and if you hear it again back off. Don't touch him, just be still and talk to him in a reassuring voice that it's ok and you understand what he just said to you.

Whatever has happened to Luna that has had him rehomed at 3 years old takes time to get over. It may be that in his old home he learned to lash out rather than walk away if his warnings and his personal space were not respected. It's stronger in some cats (like mine) than others that they can be very much on their terms and it's important for developing a strong trusting bond to leave them alone when they want. Every cat has its limits, some sooner and some later, and shows you have overstepped the mark on a scale of run away through to attack.

You can teach Luna that you will respect his boundaries and as he learns this he should get more relaxed about how he tells you. I had a cat in previous relationship who would be still purring as she attacked the hand that stroked her - we learned to recognise the subtle signs that she was getting affection overload and stop long before she even realised she was starting to get annoyed. If you do get an attack it's important not to yell or even raise a hand towards them as this escalates the situation. Just back off. If he has a hold of your hand, keep very still and talk softly not looking directly at him and in a few seconds he should relax a little, let go and possible run off. That's ok, he is processing what just happened, that you were calm and unfazed by his big display. Next time he should be less dramatic. Raising your hand or voice, staring at them or yelling is confrontational to them and next time they are likely to make their feelings known even more strongly.

It is a shock when it happens out of the blue but if you see it as a natural instinctive response and approach in a calm way as if this happened every day and was perfectly normal, soon you should have a nice calm kitty who can ask you nicely to stop what you're doing because he's had enough for now. I suppose it's a bit like a child who has been used to only getting what he wants by throwing a screaming tantrum, being taught that actually you get what you want when you ask politely and the tantrums eventually stop.

[Saga Silverdans]

Thankyou so much, Mollycat! That certainly calmed me. It's so disconcerting and hurtful when something like that happens! I think youre right, having not been very aware of what exactly was happening in the moments before may well be the thing. Crossing all pawsX