My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

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therealisd
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My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by therealisd »

My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

So today I just bought a new Bluetooth tracking device for my cat, Norm. Not because he often leaves, he does quite the contrary in fact. He is here all night, every night, and most of the day. Even when he's not inside, he's usually playing or sleeping right outside on the porch or in the yard.
Anyway, so just like 30 minutes ago, my neighbor, a lady who I've never actually met, by the way, came up and approached me as I was sitting outside on my patio. I live in the back part of a house that has been sectioned off into three units. So this lady is walking up to back porch of private property. Anyway, she's holding the collar with the Bluetooth chip attached to it. She says, "Is this yours?" My head is spinning... Did something happen to my cat??? I was freaking out. I forgot to mention the reason I got the Bluetooth tracker is more for me. I have serious anxiety issues, along with depression. So I was basically just trying it out to see how it worked and how effective it was. Anyway I tell the lady yes. She tells me that it's her cat, and asking why am I tracking her cat?? I was so seriously in shock, I had no idea what to even say at first... But it didn't matter she had already stormed off.
NOT ONE TIME has anyone come looking for the car. No signs were ever posted. There are lots of other neighbors around that I do talk to. None of them ever said anything. This lady sure as hell never said anything before this. And it's not like I never saw her. They live straight across the street. I see her often, when I'm walking out to my car or coming home from work or whatever. She never so much as looked at me.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice, or has heard of something so bizarre happening. Like I said, the cat has been living with me and sleeping inside at night with me for 18 MONTHS. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, WITHOUT EVER MISSING A NIGHT. Not once did I ever try to get the cat to come in. He just walks in. That's what happened the very first time. You just shut up and walk right in one day and I just socialize with him a little bit and then he left... Then he started coming back more and more often over the next month until he just decided he wanted to stay. Been here since. That was 18 months ago. Thought he had been left by some other neighbors or somebody in the area had moved out. I know he wasn't a stray or feral because he was super friendly...
Anyway I know this is long, and if you've taken the time to read all of it I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Even if you don't have advice, I appreciate you.
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fjm
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by fjm »

This sounds like a fairly classic case of a cat running two homes at once - days in one, nights in the other. It is always a good idea to ask around before letting a "stray" cat into your heart, and putting a paper collar on asking if it already has a home. Norm may well prefer life with you, if he is spending so much time with you, but as far as his owner is concerned you have lured him away. I would ask more approachable neighbours for advice on what to do - it may be that when she is over her first anger she may be willing to discuss the situation with you, if you start with an apology and explanation, and even consent to sharing him with you, especially if you are prepared to share vet bills, etc.
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Ruth B
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by Ruth B »

Unfortunately cats are opportunistic and will take advantage of an open door, which can result in conflict between owners. Did you ever have him checked for a chip while at the vets or put a paper collar on him to see if any one did come forward to claim him. I know in the UK you are obliged to make 'reasonable enquiries to find out if a cat has an owner' before you can claim it as a stray, this normally includes checking for a chip, asking around the neighbourhood and putting up posters, if no one comes forward then you have a right to claim ownership of it.

Having said that there are people who will try and claim something as theirs that they have no right to, you hear the horror stories of people trying to claim children as theirs saying the parents have kidnapped them, it can happen with cats too. If possible I would try and approach the neighbour that claimed your cat was hers, possibly under the pretext of returning him one time when he has come visiting, or with another neighbour as witness. Explain to her what has been happening and how often he has been visiting, let her know about any medical treatment he has had, whether it is just flea treatments or vaccinations, explain that you are now concerned that he might be getting treated twice, you can then ask her about any vet treatment she has paid for for him and which vet she uses, and could you make some arrangement to share the cost if she is willing to share the cat if he insists on continuing to visit you, you could even try and discuss what type of food he likes and what she feeds him as you don't want him to get overweight. This will all give you information about whether she is looking after him or just trying to claim him as her own. In the end a good cat owner would want the best for their cat and in my opinion would be willing to come to an arrangement. If she knows nothing really about him and his habits, has never taken him to a vet then she really has little in way of proving she owns him, it is just her word against yours. That is when things really get tricky and you have to decide whether to just carry on with him visiting and leave off the collar, whether you want to try and shut him out, returning him to her when ever he visits, maybe explaining that she will need to keep him inside for a few weeks to reinforce that that is his home, or you try and claim him as your own and get all the paperwork you have together of any vets trips etc to prove you have been looking after him, particularly if you now know she hasn't been taking him to any vet, however be warned if she decides to try and fight you it could get expensive with solicitors involved, which would not be good for your anxiety.

An amicable sharing would be for the best, and I hope you can sort something out.
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by Mollycat »

Ruth you are so kind and concilatory, I do love and slightly envy your approach.

I was the honoured target of not one but two cats from the same household who decided our house was better. The first the owners accepted as they recognised their household was noisy and chaotic and he was a quiet loving cat, so after they verbally gifted us the cat then we got him how own bowls and started feeding him. Three years later when their other cat started to spend her time at ours and at first we put up notices around and they rang us claiming the cat, they were a little less sympathetic. But we didn't want this cat any more than they wanted to let her go, as our first cat was getting old and cranky and didn't like her. But in the end it was Purdy's decision and the rest of us - neighbours, us, both our cats - all had to give in to Purdy's decision.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat - very true.
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Ruth B
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by Ruth B »

Kind and Conslatory, I'm not sure about that, possibly just gullible that i try and think the best of everyone and see everything from all angles.

I also wonder how I would react to finding Saturn turn up with a tracker and collar on him, i wouldn't be at all surprised to find out he had a second home, or even a third and forth one, he loves the outside so keeping him locked indoors would be cruel, i just hope if it ever came up the other person involved would be happy to work with me and cat share. I'm lucky i have all the paperwork in place to prove ownership.

Cats are an area of contention when it comes to the law in the UK as they are free to roam, pin them down to ownership and you start to reduce that freedom, although i'm glad the new law regarding chipping has come in, if a cat isn't chipped it is far harder to say you own it now.
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Mollycat
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by Mollycat »

Yes UK law is a mess. You don't have to report an accident with a cat as it's not livestock, and yet one big driver of the law change was being able to identify a deceased cat to return the body to the owner. I'm sorry to say after my brush last year with a driver who scarpered after dropping a log that ripped the oil sump out of my car, that I suspect the chipping and identifying owners has more to do with helping the council send a bill for clearing up than any kind of empathy with owners or sense of justice and closure for owners.

Henry maintained several other places to visit as well as cat friends to call on. Even though he made his home with us for 11 years I still never really felt we owned him, there was always a free spirit thing about him.

Anyway let's hope this alleged owner is going to be cooperative and understanding, of the cat's choices!
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Re: My neighbor thinks I'm stealing her cat. The cat has lived with me for 18 months now. I had no idea...

Post by Pukon »

I was concerned about our cat finding a home it liked better than ours, so I bought a cat tracking collar. It was a disaster, so I want to warn others about the experience I had.
I went with a UK company called Pawtrack. They claim the "best" and smallest GPS tracker. My cat is quite small, so I wanted to avoid a big chunky collar.
It took a month for the collar to arrive. Then it would not connect with the app. After many emails back and forth, it finally connected but was wildly inaccurate and usually failed to track completely. After more emails I was told that it's working fine!
I have spent over £100 on the collar and subscription and now, after returning the collar for a refund...silence. They won't reply to the three email addresses I have for them and the phone number listed is out of service.
Please, please don't take a chance on these guys. Terrible product and customer service. I am over £100 out of pocket and it's now clear they have no intention of returning my money.

We now have a Tractive one and it works fine.
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