Need advice on introducing our cats

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toastmalone
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Need advice on introducing our cats

Post by toastmalone »

I have had a male cat since late 2017. He is very loving, mellow, and snuggly. Honestly he’s one of the sweetest cats I’ve ever met. He hasn’t ever showed even the smallest sign of aggression.
My fiancé and I both work during the day, and we were suspecting that he was getting a bit lonely so we decided to adopt a new cat from a friend of ours. (They are suspected to be around the same age (4-5) but they are both rescues so there’s no concrete age for either of them)
We have been told that she is very loving and cuddly as well, and from what we can tell she is a really sweet girl. She also lived with another male cat prior to ours.
They dropped her off earlier today, she was very timid at first but since warmed up almost completely to us.
My male cat and the new cat were talking through the door that was separating them and playing “paw tag” in a PLAYFUL way.
We did a lot of research about how to introduce cats and were planning to be in it for the long haul or for as long as it took. We heard that it’s different for every introduction though. We thought ours was going beyond great.
Because of their playful interaction, we decided to let them see each other through a two inch crack in the door.
Our male stayed back and gave her her space but was very interested and wanted to play. She showed no signs of aggression and was trying to shove her face through the door. So we let her out (regrets lol).
They were fine at first, just keeping their distance. Then my male who very clearly wanted to play laid on his side and started army crawling toward her. She swatted him and he retreated. He is still being very patient with her and just sitting on the couch while she tries to explore her new environment.
BUT every time they get within a few feet of eachother, my male chirps at her and she hisses. The issue is still going on now hours later. I have separated them for the night and plan to keep them that way for as long as needed.
Is this normal? Am I overthinking things?
What should I do next or do to better the situation?
They don’t have to be best friends but I need her to at least tolerate him and not be afraid that she’s going to attack him in his own home if he gets too close.
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Mollycat
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Re: Need advice on introducing our cats

Post by Mollycat »

If you did your research about introductions, I'm not sure why you've thrown all the advice out of the window on day one, only to regret it and ask the internet for help. The more time and patience you have for the early stages, the more positive reinforcement the cats get, the better your chances of the cats becoming lifelong best friends and snuggle buddies.

Hissing is very normal, and swatting if you let them would also be very normal. Hissing is defensive, not aggressive, so she is telling everyone she is scared so back off and give her space, she is not about to attack unless she feels she has no choice. I'm not convinced by your assessment that your boy's army crawling on his side is playful, a cat in what looks like a submissive pose (belly up, rolling, or low to the ground) are far from docile - the only real submission a cat knows is run away and these vulnerable poses serve to show their power not their submission. Look how strong I am and not afraid of you, that I can show my belly, because you would not dare attack me and even if you did I'm ready with all four sets of razor claws ready to disembowel you!

Go back to the beginning, and taker it slowly. It sounds like you have two very friendly cats who are going to be the best of buddies, so invest the time to help them achieve that, because rushing and cutting corners could easily destroy it all in one fight.
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