Adoption regret

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AnnaD873
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Adoption regret

Post by AnnaD873 »

Hi all,
Last week I adopted a 10 week old kitten. He is so sweet and playful but I’m beginning to have serious adoption blues. He’s very clingy and doesn’t leave me for a second. I have kept him secluded in a guest bedroom with everything he needs while he gets acclimated and every time I leave him in there he doesn’t stop crying. When i do sit in there with him he usually climbs all over me, which I don’t mind, but it’s difficult getting him to play with his toys instead. I feel so terrible but I’m not sure what to do. I’ve spent the last few days very overwhelmed, anxious and borderline depressed. I know this is common with kitten adoption and a lot of people say it passes but I’m starting to have overwhelming regrets. Any advice/suggestions would be very welcome. He’s such a sweet boy and so loveable it just breaks my heart to feel like this.
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Mollycat
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Re: Adoption regret

Post by Mollycat »

Hi Anna, sorry to hear become a kitty-mommy isn't starting the way you'd hoped.

Can I ask, not as judgement but to gain a better understanding, is it just you living with kitten or is there anyone else of two legs or four in your household? Is this your first kitten? Have you have adult cats before? And what did you want from having a cat, how did you see your life with a cat in it that made you decide to take one on?

In the meantime, a gentle reminder that your kitten is just a baby taken away from the comfort, protection, love and teaching of its mother, the fun and play and companionship of its brothers and sisters, brought to a strange place with a strange person. Kitten is crying because kitten doesn't care about shiny plastic or fluffy things, kitten craves a real live being with its warmth and its heartbeat. Can you see that? He's not crying to annoy you, he's desperately lonely and frightened, and in need of comfort. He doesn't leave your side and is clingy, because you put him in a room by himself away from you.

If the penny drops and makes you immediately go pick him up and put him in your pocket to spend all day with you, you're going to be fine. If it doesn't make you feel any different, we need to do some big work to support you to being the happiest kitty parent around.
Last edited by Mollycat on Thu Jun 17, 2021 7:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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fjm
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Re: Adoption regret

Post by fjm »

Everything Molly says, plus - unless you have other animals or sources of danger - I would take him out of the bedroom and set up his home space next to wherever you spend most of your time. This article was written about puppies, but the gist of it is equally applicable to kittens: https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/behav ... lanet-dog/
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Ruth B
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Re: Adoption regret

Post by Ruth B »

Like the others have said he is a baby that has suddenly been taken from his mother and siblings and put in a strange, cold place (it may not actually be cold, but after spending all his time cuddled up with his family it will feel cold in a different way) he desperately wants company. I agree with the others that if you can have him with you more then that will help, even if you have to teach him to sit beside you while you work, and not in direct contact, he will appreciate just being near you, but you might have to encourage him to stay in his bed not on your lap. Make sure the bed you provide is nice and warm and cosy for him. There are various heat pads you can get for pet beds, either ones that are electrically heated or ones that just reflect the animals own heat back to them, a large cuddly toy can also help give him something furry to cuddle up against as a replacement for mum and siblings.

Finally, possibly the most controversial of the recommendations, is there a reason you opted for just one kitten and not a pair. Two kittens are normally less work than one as they will play together and often are company for each other, food often isn't much more expensive but you do have to take into account that you will have to vaccinate and medicate two cats in the long term perhaps you might want to consider whether getting a litter mate, or if there are none left then another kitten to keep him company.

Finally take care of yourself, you have a new baby in the house, and new babies, whether with or without fur are hard work, take the time to relax and look after yourself as well as him, it will help you cope with all the ups and downs of being a kitten mother. Good luck to the both of you.
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