So many Questions
Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2021 4:35 am
Hello there..
Sorry for what will probably be a bit rambling at times but am a bit all over the place at the mo as this is..a post part bereavement,part worry,part confused on what do to next etc.
So..my son,my wife and myself have 4...sorry..had 4 cats(was 5 until November 2019 when lost one of the girls)..and then the other day..lost our other girl..12 years old or so..who we had from a rescue in 2010!Lost her to CKD which seemed to come on very quickly..took her to vets where they were not happy that we took her home again but wanted a couple of hours with her to say goodbye and reinforce the love we had for her and to let our 3 boy cats know..Took her back later and she passed over the bridge peacefully while held in my arms..third girl cat(all of whom latched on to me to have crossed the bridge now)..Keep wondering if we had noticed/I had noticed her situation earlier could we have managed her condition through diet etc..Another little hole in my heart never to be fully mended!
Anyways..That was Socks...who was a feisty little 1 year old when she came to us..always stood up for herself and was afraid of nothing..expected her to live a good few years yet..
Now her passing has left me in a dilemma...
We have 3 boys remaining...Sooty who is also around 12 and came to us from the same rescue and at same time as Socks(more on him in a short while)...Merlin,a big tuxie who we brought in as a stray in 2012..lovely boy and who was trying to heal Socks with his licks as she went downhill so quickly...finally there's Billy..a Black boy like Sooty who we also took in a stray..a couple of years or so ago..he was sleeping under our hedge etc.
All the boys are,we think,in the 10-12 age range...
Now...on Sock's final day..Sooty suddenly went to our bedroom and was lying on my pillow and was not moving much or eating much except for a trip to litter tray but also wet the carpet by side of bed..and immediately went back to lying on the pillow.He was also making intermittent crying/yowling noises...actually moved down bed a bit this yesterday evening..and lay there crying/yowling for a couple of minutes but eventually allowed us to bring him into our upstairs sitting room(No not posh or rich..just convenient for me for shower facilities etc to live upstairs as I have health issues and mobility issues)..We are taking him to vets today at 0940 to get him checked out as his reaction past few days seems extreme and our 16yr old boy dotes on him and is worried..even offered to pay the vets fees!Could it be grief..or is this isolationist behaviour and crying suggesting some other underlying condition?
Merlin seems to be coping best as he appears to have come out of his shell a little..being more affectionate and lying close to us etc on couch arm and such..and wanting a bit of a fuss(Experienced something a little the same when lost a girl cat back in 2010 and another female we had suddenly became very fussy and opened up in personality terms..so maybe she was being held back by the pecking order a bit?)..wondering if he now feels more free to express himself?
As for Billy..shortest with us of the bunch..he has not been in living room since day we took her to vets..and has taken to lying in one of the litter trays..apart from a few hours on kitchen windowsill looking out..so no idea what's going on here either.
Any advice on above would be appreciated though hoping vet visit will answer some of the questions..
Afraid there's more..
Much as I adore the boys..after so many years with so many cats..3 or more for past 20 years..we had at least 1 female in the mix for most of that time and I wonder if Socks was a bit like their matriarch/mummy cat?Keeping them generally in line etc?
Also.the change in dynamic is making me want to get another cat..a female..but I have questions on this...
Would getting another cat be fair on the boys..or on that cat?(Saw in the cats needing a home sub-forum a lovely tabby called Miley who looks like she has character etc. but was not sure how to go about enquiring in relation to her..also she's about 90m away from where we are etc.)
Should I/We be looking at getting a socialised pair to integrate into the current dynamic..so that the new arrivals at least have each other while we get them and the current residents used to each other?
Does it matter what age the cast are we introduce..I mean..much as I would like to help out older cats..with ours all being seniors now..I would rather have a next generation to help soften the blows of losing them over the next 5 years or so..
Dynamic to me..or rather my personal view is..the house doesn't feel right without a female cat here..(we also keep our cats inside nowadays after having one girl go missing and discovering she was Run over..that was back in 2010 and my first incarnation on this site..and we also had a big stray full Tom who came into our family go missing in 2012..though think he just preferred the roving life and did a runner before we could get him..sorted(neutered)..
Anyways..sorry for the length of this post and the rambling nature..but am feeling a bit broken at mo..and have several empty holes where my lost pets are..(Seems each pet loss gets harder,hurts more and reopens old wounds somewhat..the older I get)
Thanks for your time and patience..and any advice oh and also sorry of this is not in the appropriate section..just thought here may be ebst as there's a lot of different CATegories?
Sorry for what will probably be a bit rambling at times but am a bit all over the place at the mo as this is..a post part bereavement,part worry,part confused on what do to next etc.
So..my son,my wife and myself have 4...sorry..had 4 cats(was 5 until November 2019 when lost one of the girls)..and then the other day..lost our other girl..12 years old or so..who we had from a rescue in 2010!Lost her to CKD which seemed to come on very quickly..took her to vets where they were not happy that we took her home again but wanted a couple of hours with her to say goodbye and reinforce the love we had for her and to let our 3 boy cats know..Took her back later and she passed over the bridge peacefully while held in my arms..third girl cat(all of whom latched on to me to have crossed the bridge now)..Keep wondering if we had noticed/I had noticed her situation earlier could we have managed her condition through diet etc..Another little hole in my heart never to be fully mended!
Anyways..That was Socks...who was a feisty little 1 year old when she came to us..always stood up for herself and was afraid of nothing..expected her to live a good few years yet..
Now her passing has left me in a dilemma...
We have 3 boys remaining...Sooty who is also around 12 and came to us from the same rescue and at same time as Socks(more on him in a short while)...Merlin,a big tuxie who we brought in as a stray in 2012..lovely boy and who was trying to heal Socks with his licks as she went downhill so quickly...finally there's Billy..a Black boy like Sooty who we also took in a stray..a couple of years or so ago..he was sleeping under our hedge etc.
All the boys are,we think,in the 10-12 age range...
Now...on Sock's final day..Sooty suddenly went to our bedroom and was lying on my pillow and was not moving much or eating much except for a trip to litter tray but also wet the carpet by side of bed..and immediately went back to lying on the pillow.He was also making intermittent crying/yowling noises...actually moved down bed a bit this yesterday evening..and lay there crying/yowling for a couple of minutes but eventually allowed us to bring him into our upstairs sitting room(No not posh or rich..just convenient for me for shower facilities etc to live upstairs as I have health issues and mobility issues)..We are taking him to vets today at 0940 to get him checked out as his reaction past few days seems extreme and our 16yr old boy dotes on him and is worried..even offered to pay the vets fees!Could it be grief..or is this isolationist behaviour and crying suggesting some other underlying condition?
Merlin seems to be coping best as he appears to have come out of his shell a little..being more affectionate and lying close to us etc on couch arm and such..and wanting a bit of a fuss(Experienced something a little the same when lost a girl cat back in 2010 and another female we had suddenly became very fussy and opened up in personality terms..so maybe she was being held back by the pecking order a bit?)..wondering if he now feels more free to express himself?
As for Billy..shortest with us of the bunch..he has not been in living room since day we took her to vets..and has taken to lying in one of the litter trays..apart from a few hours on kitchen windowsill looking out..so no idea what's going on here either.
Any advice on above would be appreciated though hoping vet visit will answer some of the questions..
Afraid there's more..
Much as I adore the boys..after so many years with so many cats..3 or more for past 20 years..we had at least 1 female in the mix for most of that time and I wonder if Socks was a bit like their matriarch/mummy cat?Keeping them generally in line etc?
Also.the change in dynamic is making me want to get another cat..a female..but I have questions on this...
Would getting another cat be fair on the boys..or on that cat?(Saw in the cats needing a home sub-forum a lovely tabby called Miley who looks like she has character etc. but was not sure how to go about enquiring in relation to her..also she's about 90m away from where we are etc.)
Should I/We be looking at getting a socialised pair to integrate into the current dynamic..so that the new arrivals at least have each other while we get them and the current residents used to each other?
Does it matter what age the cast are we introduce..I mean..much as I would like to help out older cats..with ours all being seniors now..I would rather have a next generation to help soften the blows of losing them over the next 5 years or so..
Dynamic to me..or rather my personal view is..the house doesn't feel right without a female cat here..(we also keep our cats inside nowadays after having one girl go missing and discovering she was Run over..that was back in 2010 and my first incarnation on this site..and we also had a big stray full Tom who came into our family go missing in 2012..though think he just preferred the roving life and did a runner before we could get him..sorted(neutered)..
Anyways..sorry for the length of this post and the rambling nature..but am feeling a bit broken at mo..and have several empty holes where my lost pets are..(Seems each pet loss gets harder,hurts more and reopens old wounds somewhat..the older I get)
Thanks for your time and patience..and any advice oh and also sorry of this is not in the appropriate section..just thought here may be ebst as there's a lot of different CATegories?