Cat Chat Feline Forum

I have a dilemma and really need some advice. My stray cat, Dave who I would like to adopt eventually, is causing problems and stress with my niece (who I live with three days a week looking after her 2yo daughter) and my nieces two cats.
Dave is attacking the male, Louie, and Banshee the girl, is very reluctant to go out. The result of this is that she is messing in the house. Both cats are very wary of Dave and it's having an effect on the household in general.
Dave also gets through the cat flap when he can and steals food. So, it's a huge problem as my niece cannot keep cat flap locked up as her cats are indoor/outdoor cats. Also, she is worried that Dave will inflict an injury on Louie or Banshee. He can be very dominating. (He is neutered)
I cannot take him back to my house yet as I'm away from home three days a week, and this will be the case until March.
The only other thing I can do is phone the CPL to take him. But it's so sad as I am very fond of him and he seems to like me and is very affectionate.
What would you good people do? I would love to take him home and look after him. Or, would it be kinder to let him go to the CPL?
I would love some suggestions.
Thank you for reading.

Poor Dave. By the sound of it things cannot go on as they are as it's not fair to your niece's cats - they sound quite distressed by all this. It can't be too pleasant for Dave either.

It's lovely that you want to take him on, but I don't think things can be allowed to go on as they are until March. If you can't find anywhere for him temporarily, then I'm afraid I do think it would be kinder to rehome him. Sorry. xx

Would it be possible to take Dave to your home now, where you'd be with him 4 days a week, and have someone pop in to feed, play and attend to his litter tray on the days you're away at your niece's? That would relieve the stress for Loie and Banshee. It's not ideal for Dave when he'd be new to your home, but it might be worth considering.

Thank you for your replies, Crewella and Alice. I have decided to take Dave home with me. I'd rather do that than give him up, poor boy.
I will have to transport him by train between Ipswich and Norwich so that'll be fun.

I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll ask a friend to go in and see to him when I'm not there.

I think this is the best option. It sounds like you are committed to Dave and he to you and good homes are not easy to find, especially for cats who are domineering over other resident cats.

If you were intending to give him outside access you will need to keep him inside for 3-4 weeks, but after that he can have his own (preferrably microchip operated) cat flap so that he can come and go when you want him to.

He will be fine with someone popping in to see him. Good luck for the rail journey - you might want to get some puppy pads to put in the carrier incase he gets 'caught short' on the journey, and spray some Feliway in the carrier before you put him in. An adventure for Dave, who is one lucky boy to find you.

Do keep us updated! x

Aww, thanks Jacks. Yes, I am taking him home next Friday so I will get some puppy pads, and all the paraphernalia that goes with being a 'mummy' again.
Frankly, I cannot wait to get him home and safe and warm with me. Poor boy, it breaks my heart to have to turf him out of my nieces house.
However, he has a little shelter and he is fed 3 times a day.

Thank you all again for your help and encouragement. It means a lot to me.

It's so nice being among fellow cat lovers.

Oh well done, that's just brilliant - I'm so pleased you've found a way for Dave to come home with you! With someone popping in, I'm sure he'll be just fine.

Well done, I just know Dave will have a great home with you!

I'm using a "SureFlap" for Denver, it reads internal microchips so you don't need to worry about magnets. Its working very well for him, so I'd recommend that one. It is quite expensive at £90 plus 4 AA batts every 6 months or so but to me its worth the cost to prevent unwanted guests!

Please give Dave a big snuggle from me and Denver.

Helen

What a great story! Well.done you and kisses to Dave.

so pleased for you and Dave - and you're 100% doing the right thing by taking him back to yours now already. Fusses to him

Only just read this thread.

Well done for giving Dave a chance

I am sure you are making the right choice and things will work out better for everyone in the long run

Keep us posted how you get on

Yes, excellent news! All good wishes to you and Dave. I hope the journey goes well for you both. I will be thinking about you. Please keep in touch.

Very best wishes

Sue

Thank you again, folks. I'll give Dave a fuss and cuddle from you all and your fur babies. He will, no doubt, gnaw at my hand as I do so. ( it doesn't hurt..he's just showing affection I think. )
He's such a smashing boy and he will be great company for me as I live alone and I still miss my late boy, Oscar. But it's been over two years now and I am ready to be a mummy again.

My Oscar came to me/found me when I most needed him. (I have Bi-Polar ) and was in a very dark place. He was my saviour and best friend. When things started to improve for me, he was there as my reason to get up in the mornings. And I loved him so much. And grieved for him terribly.
Now, it's the same with Dave. It is as though someone, a higher authority, knows I am again ready to have another little pal, and sent Dave to me.
Just my ramblings, but it's strange how things happen.

Strange but True.

I've been a little bit naughty this evening. My niece is away for the night so had Dave in for an hour or two.
He sat on my lap and nudged his head under my chin and was so cuddly. It was nice for him and me. But, when I was gently stroking his flank, he began a low growly wail like a warning. No idea why, but I've noticed he's not keen on having his hind quarters/ lower back touched. Must get that checked out at the vets.

He sounds adorable! I would agree to get it checked at the vet - it's a good idea to vet check thoroughly anyway, although I'd warn the vet beforehand When we found Lara had a nasty tail wound this week it was after she was not only dripping blood but growling and snarling if I stroked her down the bottom of her back - when normally she is happy for me to touch her anywhere.

You may find he doesn't like certain things yet - a legacy of being stray and previous experience - and it will come in time. If he's fine and doesn't have any bites etc. then pet him where he likes it at the moment. My ex-feral Mr Socks loves head and back rubs but he doesn't like his tummy being touched - it's an instinctive reaction - he puts his mouth round my hand but doesn't bite, as if to say "not happy with that, mum" but I can put my hands along his sides when he's standing fine.

Enjoy the wonderful bond you have with Dave - it can only grow x

Hi
What a lovely forever home Dave is going to have. I'm a true believer in the 'higher authority' and Dave did come to you at the right time. I feel that cats are very spiritual and I know for sure Eric and George pick up on my moods. When I'm in my dark place, they just touch my soul with their sweetness. Bless them all!
Good luck with the train journey - hope all goes well.
Do you have a picture of the lovely Dave?

I am sure you will get Dave checked out at the vets. If they don't find any physical reason for him not liking his flank touched, it might just be as Jacks said, something personal to him.

When Tommy first came to us he didn't like being touched. He hung around the garden and we would leave food for him. Slowly it got to the point where I would only put food down for him if he let me stroke the top of his head. Now he lies between us at night and purrs like a little engine!

I am glad it is working out for you both. It seems it was meant to be.

Are you back online yet, Grace, with an update of the last few days with Dave?