Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess...

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Pinkglitter1
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Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess...

Post by Pinkglitter1 » Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:39 pm

Firstly, I apologise for my long post. I would like some advice as I am worrying myself about this to the point of sleepless nights. :shock:

Hi,

I have found this forum and am hoping that someone can put my mind at rest (or not).

Little about me: I have 4 cats, 3 girls, 1 boy.

I used to live in a ground floor flat in North London with 3 of my cats ( number 4 was yet to join us). At this point I had an open cat flap and my male cat was spraying everywhere, causing me a lot of stress. He is an anxious boy anyway, but I now have a micro-chip cat-flap, use Zylkene and Feliway at times of need and the problem, although not resolved, is manageable. This spraying had reached extreme heights when I moved from my old flat to my new flat in May 2012. The spraying is not the issue for me, it is unresolved guilt that I may have made a huge mistake in moving house, and this is why.

I had so many cats sneaking in through the catflap. At this stage, my guys food was by the back door and I lived in a terraced house on a typical London Street. I had my neighbours cat who used to come in and sleep on the sofa. There was a large male tabby who used to come in twice a day ( I attached a paper collar and his owner neutered him) but he remained a regular visitor. A ginger cat who after a number of years, I discovered lived at the back of me, came in daily. The persian from next-door-but-one would come in. And over the 4 years I was there, a few other cats came and went. One of whom decided to move in with me. He was chipped and I couldn't keep him and he was re-homed. seems there was a space of about 3 months whereby he was visiting me and returning home. One morning I looked out into my garden and it looked like a zoo! I had quite an overgrown garden-possibly attractive to cats?

So, I come to the bit that I feel desperately guilty about. Approx in March 2012 there was a new tabby sneaking in and eating the food. At first I thought it was the regular tabby who lived over the back, but soon spotted he wasn't. He wasn't coming around every day, but fairly frequently. Sneaking in through the back door and running off if I made an appearance. Now, he was wearing a collar initially. I took this off (it came off!) when trying to attach a paper collar to him to establish if he belonged to someone. However, I could not grab him and he would always sit over the fence in next doors garden, where I couldn't reach and run off in the same direction. I had the odd scramble over the fence to try and catch him, and he would run off. I saw him once sitting underneath a chair in my lounge, and again, he ran off. He was unneutered but in good nick-he didn't have the big head and chops of a feral ( I have some photo's) Once he had a fight wound on his head. I tried not to actively feed him as this had backfired previously with a cat leaving its own home for me. I did not want this cat to do the same. He seemed perfectly pleasant to my own cats and did not bully them.

I moved in with my boyfriend on 1st June 2012, being non the wiser if this cat had a home and was an opportunist like all the rest. I always try my best by animals and felt that I should have caught this cat and taken him to Battersea just in case. At least I would then have known for sure that he was safe. As it stands, it is probable he was coming in for a free meal, but what if he wasn't? There was a prime opportunity for him to be rescued and I failed. At the time, on speaking with my mum, I didn't want to capture him as I felt he belonged to somebody. I would be devastated if one of mine just disappeared. My landlady stayed for a couple of weeks on my departure and I know cats were coming in through the flap at night. I should have put pictures up in the street, however, the many times I have done this before, I never get a response.

I guess what I am keen to know, is do cats sneak into other homes, even if they have a home of their own and could this cat very likely have had a home? Now I'm wiser, I would hire a trap and neuter him, but I wasn't armed with as much knowledge. I'm depressed anyway, but I am feeling hideously bad and wish I had never moved house, just in case. I've adopted lost cats before, it was obvious one followed me home and the other was throwing himself at my back door and both refused to leave.

The new people that moved in said they had never seen him (they have adopted 2 stray kittens) but I worry constantly about him. I asked the neighbours to keep an eye and contact me too, but looks like they haven't seen him. HELP!!! Have I left cat out to die?????????

R x

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meriad
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by meriad » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:17 pm

Hey there and welcome to CC. First off I am very certain that you most certainly have not left a cat to die. I would very strongly suspect that (if he were homeless) he would have found another source of food; cats are quite resilient. And given you've had two families look out for him they would have noticed if he'd been hanging around and starving. So, easier said than done I know, but try not to worry - I am sure this cat would have been OK

Pinkglitter1
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by Pinkglitter1 » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:23 pm

Thanks for the welcome! I wish I had joined eons ago. Thanks for the reassurance. I hope he had a home and was just being a bit greedy. I do worry and think I have an anxiety disorder related to cats! I lost 4 of mine in a row between 2003-2007 and it left it's mark. I now overcompensate and try and rescue all the cats I can-drives my boyfriend mad!

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gillian2u
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by gillian2u » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:41 pm

Hi I have to agree with Ria on this 1 cats tend to be able to fend for themselves and it seems you did much more than most people would have to look after this boy I know it's not easy but try not to worry and enjoys the cats you have.
P.S. welcome to catchat

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Crewella
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by Crewella » Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:25 pm

I agree with the others. It sounds as though there are quite a few cat lovers in the area, too, so even if he is still around he stands a good chance of finding support if he does need it.

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PeanutsFriend
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by PeanutsFriend » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:23 pm

Yep I agree. Ferel cats will find someone to help them.

Pinkglitter1
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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by Pinkglitter1 » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:26 pm

Thanks everyone. My hunch was that he had a home, but you never can tell. There were many cat people in the street and I've since been back to look for him and to ask around. I guess because he wasn't neutered there is the possibility he was lost. Would other people have rehomed him just in case he was lost?

I tried to uploads pic but I don't seem to be able to.

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Re: Help and advice-I am driving myself into an anxious mess

Post by hgale » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:27 pm

Welcome to CC!

I would echo the other comments. We have often had cats "two timing" us as well, they always seem very adept at running more than 1 house at a time! I really wouldn't worry about him.

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