Molly's Next Big Step

[Mollycat]

I really share these little stories as reassurance and encouragement for anyone else with a Very Shy or Traumatised Cat.

Nine and a half years after I adopted her aged 6, Molly is now letting me give her a light comb with the big detangler comb. A few months ago she began to tolerate being touched with a toothbrush and we have worked up at a snail's pace from there. Lots of strokes, "treats" which are actually her regular renal biscuits, and letting her rub her cheeks on the offending item and she has learned to love it. And so she can tolerate a great deal more of it being in places she doesn't like things being doing things she doesn't like being done, because the comb has been nothing but kind to her and the occasional minor tug has been followed by relief.

It is still very much a work in progress and I don't know if I will ever be able to comb through her sides or back legs or chest as she gets older and more of her gets harder for her to groom herself, but this is still a million times better than I had thought possible just a year ago. It doesn't matter. What counts, and the point of this post like a handful of other similar stories I have shared before, is this:

- Unlimited: Patience, Gentleness, Kindness, Respect
- Absolute no-no: Force, Trickery, Stress, Confrontation
- Support and encouragement - this is how we help them be the best they are able to be
- Always accept; never expect. You are good enough and so is your cat!
- Keep a diary, as soon as you realise you have a Very Shy or Traumatised Cat. At least make a note of the Firsts.

[Ruth B]

Small steps can still reach milestones.

I've had a couple lately with Freyja. One of course has to do with Teddy, who has now been with us abut 5 months. There had been a couple of times when he had waved a paw at her when she came close to him, he had been a bit picked on by the unspayed Queens where he came from and I have a feeling he was just a bit defensive around female cats, spayed or not. We managed to discourage that quite quickly, possibly because Freyja will run rather than fight if we are around (if a stranger comes in the cat flap she will yell t him till we arrive to help out). Freyja though used to take comfort from Tiggy our previous Golden Oldie, and I knew she would miss her, when Tiggy was happily purring on my lap then Freyja would come for some fuss. The other day, Teddy was curled up beside me on the bed, with Freyja sat on the bed at the foot end. she saw Teddy curled up beside me and ventured up to the far side of him, i could reach across my arm around Teddy, and fuss Freyja, both happy and purring, she finally seems too be accepting Teddy as a confidence replacement for Tiggy.

The other one is almost a silly thing, for the 7 years we have had her she has seen me come into the bedroom with a basket of washing at least twice a week, normally she takes one look at the basket and is under the bed. The last few weeks i've gone in with it, talking as I enter so I don't startle her away, asking whether she is 'goiing to be a brave Freyja or a silly Freyja today'. Brave Freyja is becoming much more common, i can often have the basket half empty before she decides she has taken enough and retreats to safety, i have even finished the job once or twice with her watching every move wide eyed. I know i cant' give her treats or fuss her at that point, she would take off the moment imoved inher direction, but I can praise her in soft voice and tell her how well she has done, i think she knows what i'm say, if not the words then the meaning.

We love them for the cats they are, but I will admit that I'm glad Teddy turned out to be the cuddle cat I wanted.

[Mollycat]

That's lovely Ruth and I don't think the washing thing is silly at all, Molly used to bolt if I was carrying anything and I remember the sense of achievement the first time she stayed put while I did various things that normally made her bolt. It's all signs of trust and the more they trust us no matter how small the step might seem it's another affirmation of us having done something if not right then at least well enough that our furry charges can make a small step towards us. It's huge to them and by celebrating it we're giving due credit to the massive effort they are making, often against their preservation instincts, to trust us.