I have 2 cats. A boy who is 9 yrs and a girl who is 4 yrs. have had both cats from kittens. Last week we got a new kitten. The older cat who is very laid back comes in and eats and will stay in the room when the kitten is around. But the girl cat will not even come in the house. We have to feed her outside. She has a covered car port in the garden and Katcabins so she has shelter and warmth. She will eat outside but will not come in the house. This morning she came in the kitchen, the door was shut so no access to the house, She can sense the kitten, growled and ran out. This has been a week now and I don't know what to do. She is purring when we fuss her outside but refuses to come in, even with treats. The kitten has settled in really well and is eating and using litter tray.
Advice would be grateful. I realise that the 2 cats may not be best of friends but I want her to come inside.
I cannot try Felliway as the girl cat will not even come in. When i saw the girl cat yesterday she was purring, we had a cuddle and she was rubbing against my leg. I left some food outblast night. Some had been eaten but i have not seen her since 3pm yesterday. She has been gone for nearly a day previously though.
Getting concerned because i don't want her to feel that we don't love her. I don't know what else to do
Is the kitten boy or girl? What are their names? If it was your boy behaving like this I would be a little more concerned. But I find our boys far more laid back and it's the girls who take 'thick fits'.
Am I right in thinking your kitchen opens out into the garden? Can you leave the door open and her food inside, so she has to come in to eat? As it is you may be making things worse by feeding her outside. If she knows there is no need to take on so, perhaps she'll come around and accept the kitten - even if they are never friends. I hope so - good luck!
Hi, sorry to hear your girl has not taken the new arrival well!
Can I ask how old the new kitten is?
Ideally within the first week the kitten should have been kept in a separate 'bonding room' and your residents gradually introduced to the kitten and vise versa. From what you've said it sounds like the kitten arrived in the house, is confident and exploratory by nature, your elder girl took fright and you have not been able to break the pattern.
Firstly, you need to get your resident girl back indoors. You say she will not come in - pick her up and bring her in when she is being petted and affectionate. Then shut the door. I would suggest putting the kitten in a spare room with litter, food and toys before you coax your girl back in the house. Spray Feliway (synthetic hormone) in all the downstairs rooms before she comes in to give a better environment - even plug in some rescue remedy for nervousness. There are also drops you can put on cat's heads or in their water that some cat chatters find really helpful.
Don't let your older girl back outside for a while. She needs to reclaim her home territory. There is a possibility she may wander off if someone else starts feeding her otherwise. Of course if you want her to live in an outdoor environment this may be her choice at the moment unless you take action. She obviously loves you but is confused and frightened by the sudden smells of another animal on her territory. The growling is a sign of fear, not aggression - aggressive cats put their ears back and start a rising wail... Your girl is confused and scared and thinks you want her to live outside, especially as you go out to pet her and feed her. She thinks she's been replaced inside the house. Cats are thinking creatures but they don't think like humans - it's very basic and emotional.
Once inside play with your girl, give her treats, make her feel important and wanted. Was she the dominant of the two in the household? This needs to be reinforced through primary attention, treats and being fed first. The newcomer needs to be fed last.
Apologies if you have done all this but it's not clear from your post. True some cats can cope with 'mucking in together' as an introduction, as your boy appears to have done, but some can't. There is good advice on this forum about hierarchies and introductions of new cats. As a last resort borrow a large dog crate, put your new kitten in it in the main lounge area, and let your resident get used to the fact that kitten is not a threat and she is still no. 1.
Hello, the new kitten is 9 weeks old now. I have not seen the girl cat (Beryl) since 3pm yesterday. Getting worried now. I will put the kitten in another room and see if I can coax her back in, hopefully she will come back later today. She is normally outdoors a lot but not this long.
Definitely get her inside asap. If you can't find her, I would knock on your neighbours and ask if they've seen her or have been feeding her.
I have a girl who was spending more and more time outside after I took in a new cat; in the end she stayed out all night and got attacked and injured - I've since kept her inside and am managing slow introductions with the male cat. She has got used to being indoors (it's been 5 weeks now) and is actually happier in herself. I'm actually going to post about her in her own thread as it's got me thinking about how cats actually see what is happening in a home. Sometimes you have to take things into hand in a way that seems prescriptive, but cats aren't capable of 'rationalising' relationships any more than toddlers are very good at it!
I hope you find Beryl soon; if she doesn't come back this afternoon get out there and look for her.
I completely agree, Jacks. I was considering it anyway, but the final factor in my decision to keep my lot locked in at night was the fact that Grumpy Nellie hated Daz on sight when he arrived, and started to spend more and more time outside. Daz just wants to play and doesn't mean her any harm at all, but there was no convincing her of that and I was scared she'd start not wanting to come inside at all. I gave her lots of hidey holes and areas she could get away from him, but the fact that she was forced to spend time inside with him, and that I feed them all together, did help her to get used to him being around. She still doesn't much like him and avoids coming face to face with him if at all possible, but she's not so bothered by him and comes in and goes out happily in her old routine. I'm not sure she would have got there if I hadn't intervened.
I hope you find Beryl - then keep her in but away from the kitten for a while and go through the introduction process. Good luck!
Well, Beryl returned yesterday around her normal dinner time at 5.30pm. She would not come in but ate on the mat by the door. She then went. But i gave her some treats and cuddles and loads of petting. She came back again later and this time came in the kitchen but ate near the door. She would not come in any further though. This morning she scratched at the cat flap to come in. I have the cat flap closed one way, they can go out but not in as they was always bringing in live catches, mice, birds, rabbits! This has been the case for a couple of years. I moved the food further in the kitchen and she came in and ate. She was very twitchy though. She then left. Again i petted her and cuddles and gave a couple of treats. Each time i will bring her food in further. I put the kitten in one of the bedrooms before i let her in. Hoping that once she's happy eating she will come in further and then get used to the kittens smell. Once she is in, I will get some Felliway which has been recommended.
Feel so much relieved that she came home. I think we have to do it at her pace. Don't want to force her in, incase she takes flight.
I'm glad Beryl is turning up regularly, but have to say - sorry - I can't think it right she can't use the catflap to get in during the night - what would happen if she were being chased by a fox or dog, or there was a big thunderstorm, which cats are petrified of? I find the idea of a cat terrified and rushing home only to find herself locked out rather distressing, to be honest
Awww have to agree with kay. One of my neighbours did the same with her cat flap and her cat was hit by a car in the night and struggled home only to be locked out. She found it next morning terrified and injured crying at the cat flap. .
I agree, there is no way I'd ever put my cat flap on a one way lock that keeps them from getting inside the house where they are safe.
Instead, if you're trying to avoid the bearing of unwanted gifts, try keeping all your furry friends inside from dusk to dawn as that's when they're most active with their hunting; or a collar with a bell?
Glad Beryl is turning up again; I do hope you're able to get her to be happy at home again. I have 6 cats and the difference in their behaviour and what seems acceptance of each other in the winter is amazing when compared to the summer months. Summer one spends nearly all hours out and about and Monty spends a lot of time outside whereas in the winter both will be indoors lots more and just ignore the rest of the clan
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