Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

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Mrs Mac
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Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

Hi, neighbours across the road continue to encourage Rosie into their house and then keep her inside for hours! She keeps going over there and sits in front of their door because they keep letting her in and are giving her treats. We have spoken a MILLION times to them, asking them to stop since we took Rosie over from another neighbour last year. She was always in the habit of visiting people and her previous owner told me that these people even let her stay overnight. She never did anything about the problem but we would like Rosie to stop going there/being let in. This has now been going on for exactly a year.

Her habit to go there will only stop if they stop letting her in but they just don't listen! They even said this 'arrangement' suited them as they like cats but don't want the responsibility of actually owning one. Things came to a head in July when they 'forgot' that they had let Rosie into their house and went away on an overnighter - my husband and I were looking for Rosie for hours until we spotted the poor soul sitting in their front room window crying! Luckily we obtained access to their property by another neighbour who had a spare key. After that episode, they promised not to let her in again but they still do as soon as we have gone to work.

I don't know what to do anymore - they don't mean her any harm (apart from the fact that she has to cross the street to get there) but why don't they understand that you don't let somebody else's pet into your house, especially when you have been told so many times to please stop!

The thing is that Rosie will always hang around their house as it is part of her territory so there's nothing I can do to prevent her going in that direction...

Any advise? Should I just chill? Am I overreacting?
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Kay
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Kay »

I can understand this is an annoying situation, but really Rosie is part of the problem here, and as you say she likes the current arrangement, as do your neighbours, so some compromise is needed all round

|I would think Rosie would be safer inside whilst you're out rather than roaming about, and if you don't think she'd be happy shut in your house, I would accept her being let in over the road, on the understanding only when you're at work, and she is put out again around the time you get home

could your neighbours be trusted to have a cat flap which could be locked when Rosie is back with you, so she can't get in until the following morning?
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meriad
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by meriad »

are you home most of the day or could it be that Rosie is looking for company? I know one of my cats Jamie used to visit quite a few people in the neighbourhood whilst I was at work - she'd happily go visit wherever there was an open door. I remember the day I moved there were four people that I didn't know who were coming to say goodbye to Jamie :lol: And to this day - if my upstairs neighbour is home and the door open Jamie will go in and make herself quite at home. I don't mind as I'm not there, but they thankfully also do know not to feed her so Jamie does know where home is.

It really isn't ideal and I don't blame you for being annoyed, esp if they are feeding her but could you start weaning them off Rosie (and Rosie off them) by telling them you don't mind her visiting them but please not to feed her (if need be say she's on a special diet or something). Otherwise suggest that despite them not wanting the responsibility - given how much Rosie is with them it would appear shared ownership may the way forwards and that you'll be asking them to cover 1/2 of each vet bill going forward
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

thanks for both your responses! I don't want shared ownership, I want my Rosie all for myself :?
to be fair, we're working most of the day so it is probably a company thing. she's spotted regularly in the street accosting passers by... :lol:

We actually jokingly said once to them to share the vet bills since she's over there so much... After the incident in July they did stop letting her in - I know for a fact because she then started sitting in front house next door to them - which I can see from my bedroom window. they guy in that house doesn't let her in though. but that shows that she really likes hanging out in that area. I wouldn't want them to have a cat flap, it's bad enough that they open the door for her each time she anywhere near their house!

so yeah, I know that the problem is partly Rosie... it's one of these things, before she came to live with us she roamed the neighbourhood for years and visited people daily, stayed over at their houses etc. reason was she didn't get on with her previous owner's other cat and kind of moved out... now that she's with us it's probably impossible to stop that behaviour because that's what she does and what she likes...

I wouldn't want to keep her inside when we're out - she loves being outdoors plus we're in a really quiet area so she would probably be terribly upset if I restricted her outdoor access.

perhaps I really have to chill out more, maybe wine will help...
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meriad
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by meriad »

Mrs Mac wrote:maybe wine will help...
:lol: :lol: my answer to all problems :lol: :lol:

But seriously, could you try and reach a compromise with the neighbours and say to them that you don't mind that Rosie visits them during the day when you're out at work but not to feed her and the moment they realise you're home they need to gently evict her from their house.

It can work that you and the neighbours and most importantly Rosie are all happy
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meriad
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by meriad »

And actually thinking about this - at least with neighbours like this you know Rosie will be looked out for when you're away ;)
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

To be honest, they mainly let her in during the day now. We had terrible problems at the beginning when they would let her in when she was out on her evening round but that's not the case anymore.

I want to have Rosie's interest at heart so what you are saying about a compromise makes total sense - if it wasn't for the fact that i REALLY don't like the people! And it annoys me that they blatantly disregard what we ask them to do. I mean, if I was in that situation and somebody told me to stop letting their cat in I would - and I would be embarrassed that they found me out!

But yeah, in a way I know they keep an eye out for her which is reassuring. Everyone in this neighbourhood is really good that way. It's not like poor jean who posted that her nasty neighbour throws stones at her cat... That puts it into perspective.

But I'm still going to have that wine... :D
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Peaches »

Hey kid chill!!! I have 6 cats 3 I rescued from RSPCA the rest have just 'arrived' plus 4 previous which made us want to rescue cats in the first place. My dilemma is up at the moment under peaches and her brother needing a new home, I would love one of my neighbours to take at least Fluffy in as Peaches has settled in so well with us and our 5 other cats, unbelievable, always think this is not going to work, but with time it really does. however getting back to your problem - one of my cats Chopper - arrived 18 months ago, his owners moved in 2 months previous, young couple, out at work all day and let him out at 7am when they went off to work, got home at 7pm at night and wondered why Chopper wasn't around!! Honestly I did'nt not encourage him, he persisted in coming in and feeding, he put up with my other cats trying to deter to him. His owners knew where he was, they would txt to see if he was with me or in the garden, I replied, they would collect him, next day the same again. It went on for months, until my neighbour got pregnant and decided that was the reason for chopper's betrayal!!! Once she had a beautiful baby girl and I called to see her, she and her husband asked if I could take care of Chopper for at least a while until they had settled. that was 12 months ago! Chopper still visits them, all cool, but he is in every night safe, we all love him to bits and if I have to pay for five I may as well pay for six!! where I possibly am able to. Fluffy is a different story. Good luck, chill a little and keep drinking the wine, love it.
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Mrs Kane
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Kane »

I understand your dilemma Mrs Mac. For years my Granny's cat used to go around and visit people in the block they lived in and my Gran was always terrified that something had happened to her, even though it was just in the building. (Annoyingly, as a kitten Fritz learnt how to open the front door and let herself out, (I wish I had a DVD of that, we recorded it once on my dad's old video cam but we never converted it) we kept pestering my Gran to get a different handle, but she was worried with her arthritis she wouldn't be able to turn a new handle properly, silly I know but she is stuck in her ways) So we often found the little monster clawing at one of the doors wanting attention/food or both. To this day I'm amazed of the tolerance of the neighbours, a far lesser person would've kicked Fritz out the foyer, especially when she did her late night roam-arounds.
I went off topic there. My point is if Rosie is really set on going over there and the neighbours are set on letting her in, I would suggest a compromise:
An exchange of home phone/mobile numbers and an installation of voicemail if you don't already have one. Every time Rosie disappears you ring and find out if she's over there. And every time she enters the house they have to ring and leave you a message.
It might also be prudent to be a little devious and say she's on a diet. The whole "please don't feed her" thing might be a deterrent in some respect. I'm being a little detective here and presuming both neighbours are retired. If they're around all the time they may be indulging her, which is why she keeps going to them. Just a little white lie of "The vet said she's getting too fat for her age" or "The vet's worried about diabetes" will probably deter them from treats. You can go further in this lie if you want to of course.

I understand that you're not fond of the neighbours over the road, but I would say (if I presume correctly that they're retired) that they're probably a little lonely and bored and Rosie probably spices up their day quite considerably! If a little furry friend wanted to visit me every day I'd be overjoyed! And I'm only 26! I wouldn't judge them quite so harshly. It's hard to let down a cute little face staring at you through the front room window. I know it's a huge pain to have YOUR cat be over and away from you, but to be honest I'd do exactly what I predict you are not fond of: I'd invite them over for dinner or a BBQ and see exactly what they're like as people and see if they have Rosie's best interests at heart. If they don't, you'll have to install a timed cat flap, if they do, I guarantee you'll have the best "Godparents" around for Rosie!

hope this helps!

MK
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

Thanks for your responses Peaches and Mrs kane! What a nice story with Choppers, it really sounds as if he was quite determined to move in with you and how good of you to let him! Cats really have a mind of their own...

Rosie is at home every afternoon when I come back from work which is nice and I can't complain about that. She exactly knows where her home is, that's for sure... She's just such a free spirit. This morning after breakfast she wandered straight down to the neighbours again so I quickly fetched her back. She's quite funny actually, she follows me home happily like a wee dog every time, people are laughing when they see me 'walking my cat'. :lol:

Mrs K, right after we took her in we sat down with these neighbours, exchanged numbers and tried to establish some ground rules like you suggested. But it just doesn't work, they do what they want. You are right, they're both retired. They even used to have a cat but don't want another one as they find it too much hassle so that's where Rosie comes in handy. Looks like there's not much else I can do apart from keeping an eye out that they don't let her in when we're home and at the weekends...

That and chilling and drinking wine of course... :D
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Mrs Kane
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Kane »

Tbh as much as I know you'd hate to Mrs Mac, I'd get friendly with them. You can't change their ways but perhaps you can make Rosie important to them.
I'm guessing she's sort of important to them right now, to the extent that if she didn't come over you'd receive a phone call saying "is she okay? She hasn't come over."

I know from experience that you can't change a cat and you can't change people that don't want to be changed. But I know you love your cat, which is why you're here asking for advice.

Well... My advice is this:

Get to know your neighbours. It's only when you know them that they know you.
Make a schedule of a fortnight or monthly dinner and have them over for a chat. Nothing big, just a Sunday roast or a BBQ type thing. Ask them to bring dessert. ;) Get to know them! I bet they'd love an invite to your place! I am sure they'll be super happy to be included in your life and Rosie's. They clearly love your cat, and although they're stubborn they seem like good people from your posts. They may keep Rosie away more than you'd like but they do seem excellent candidates to watch out for her when you're not about. If you're worried about her then a quick phone call to them will tell you if she safe or not. And vice versa. These neighbours will look out for her.

I won't lie, I'm jealous. I Love people and I love good neighbours. My closest neighbour died a few months back and he loved my cat Sofi. I still miss him. When I moved to this apartment I didn't know anyone apart from my boyfriend and his former roommate, who kept strange hours and didn't seem to fond of me (probably because my income meant we could move nextdoor, and eventually did). But from day one my first floor neighbour always greeted me with "Hola Guapa!" (Hello Honey!") he loved having a chat and didn't mind that my Spanish wasn't so great. He always had time for me and Sofi and a quick espresso from our machine! He loved her ever so much.

My point is don't throw people aside. They may not be all up to snuff in your opinion but they can be a really big shoulder to lean on. Sometimes even long time friends.
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Crewella »

I do agree with the general gist of the replies here, you can never truly 'own' a cat - they make their own decisions. Enjoy that glass of wine and chill, and as has been suggested take full advantage of the fact that someone else cares about your cat's welfare. :)
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by nannymcfee »

My cat Cobweb was like that,had him from a little scrap born in some outside toilets in the town ,when he got to around 10 he still slept and ate here , but decided to tootle off everyday after breakfast round to my neighbours,they were in their 70's then ( we live in detached bungalows) in the beginning i used to worry where he went but after a while, he even took to sunning himself in their lounge windows watching me! i did wonder if it was because i had central heating and they had a gas fire for him to sleep in front of !!! He even took to having 2 christmas dinners every year !

He lived to well over 20 but one day neither of us could find him :0(
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

Thanks to all again for your responses and advice. I really appreciate it and it does put things into perspective... The main thing is that Rosie is happy and people look out for her! :D

nannymcfee, do you mean your poor cobweb just disappeared and never came back?? that's so sad... he sounded such a lovely friendly wee thing!
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nannymcfee
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by nannymcfee »

Yes he just disappeared, it was 2nd January 2004, i thought he had gone round to neighbours as usual, and they later thought he had stayed in, he had been going downhill and had lost weight ,he was well into his 20's, but couldn't stop him wanting to go out round there. We looked high and low,( in every garage, sheds, wardrobes, under hedges etc) but never found him.:0(
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Re: Neighbours continue to let my cat into their house!

Post by Mrs Mac »

Oh that's soooo sad, I'm so sorry, the poor thing! That must have been so terrible for you, having him disappear like that. At least you took him in and gave him a loving home and enabled him to live a long and happy cat life. He must have loved you very much!
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