Update on sleeping together in same room.

[suelily]

Hi everyone it has been over a week now that my cats are sharing the living room and I have not heard any squawking. I leave their last feed until I am going to bed and that way they are eating when I say goodnight and close the door. I think this has helped as I leave two contented cats just fed. The question I have now is I have had my new cat for 7 weeks now and although they are getting along just fine, the last 3 days my resident cat is grabbing her from behind with both paws and biting her which must be hurting as she lets out a cry. I don't know if he is playing or wanting to hurt her. Apart from this they chase each other up & down from one end of flat to the other. Has anyone had this happening? Thanks

[Lilith]

Hi, it's sexual - he's playing naughties, and so, I suspect, is she. I've only ever known one neutered tom who could finish the job off and that was with a calling Siamese queen; usually neutered lads have a vague instinct to try and grab and mount, but that's as far as it goes. It's also a dominance thing; I had a neutered Siamese female who tried to mount a queen in call.

So he's just being a bit of a 'jack the lad' and I'm certain he doesn't intend to hurt her. Her cry may be not so much in protest as the traditional female squeal that usually comes at the end of mating - but again she'll be unsure about the procedure too lol. If they're carrying on chasing and playing I wouldn't worry. They do sound to be settling down well; next week, she may be dominating him...

All the best with them; sounds like you're all doing well

[suelily]

Thank you Lilith. Its just that she is so small and cute. The thought of him hurting her is sad. She weighs 4.45kg and he is 8.95kg and getting bigger by the day.Lol. Dexy only ate dry food but since she has came on the scene and eating As good as it looks so does he. They do use each others litter trays and eat from each others food dish so could not fathom out why he was doing that to her. Also shut her out the living room the other night because of him biting her but it lasted 5 mins because he kept on meowing and so I let her back in and he stopped. He must have missed her for the 5 mins she was not with him. Lol

[Lilith]

Bless him!

They're more resilient than we think. I had a very dainty Siamese who one day was playing with her two adult offspring and the new young breeding queen, a hefty adolescent. This lot lined up on the bed, glanced at each other, and said - 'Get Jacinth!' They flew off the bed in formation and squashed her!

She was the kind of cat who could have walloped them into the middle of next week if she'd wanted, but the game went on regardless. I've also known countless cats who rough and tumble and really bash themselves on furniture etc - their poor little skulls cracking the skirting boards like cricket balls, but in the fun of the moment, all that gets ignored...

They sound to be deeply attached already, and I think your girl would yell blue murder if he was hurting her. It does look alarming if you haven't seen it before though.

[suelily]

You are exactly right. I haven't seen this before so I probably do panic more than necessary. Lol

[Lilith]

Hey you know I ought to have posted you a link on what really goes on in a full mating:

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=How ... F4D18512BE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The tom gets up on to the female and grips her neck to restrain her; the female's obviously willing but vocalises all through this mating and the finale is quite operatic!

The withdrawal is said to be designed to stimulate ovulation; the tom's penis has tiny fleshy barbs and must be a bit of a shock, and the female always goes for the tom like this - that's why he scarpers fast.

Sorry - rather squalid video; hope those kittens were reared ok.

I once had a moggie girl who I didn't neuter until after her first call (shame on me!) and she'd sit in the hall, gently crooning, bottom in the air. (She wasn't let out of course.) I also had a young neutered male who would go and sit astride her, chewing on her neck in a puzzled way, but that was as far as it went...errrm, Lil, have you got the instruction book?

[suelily]

Its nothing like the video.He just creeps up behind her and grabs her back end with his paws and bites her bum then spits her fur out. He did it again tonight and she cried a wee bit. Just getting the feeling he is starting to resent her being here. He gets as much attention as her so it cant be him being jealous or can it? Mmm

[Lilith]

Hi, sorry for the late reply.

If he yells to have her back when she's separated from him, I doubt if he's resenting her. Young neutered toms usually don't understand what it's all about; their games take on all shapes and forms; the dopey youngster I described above once got on backwards way round and gripped her bottom! (SHE didn't mind!) I'd also guess Dexy can't believe his luck in having a playmate. If she was avoiding him, hiding away from him, or warding him off with hisses or swats (though of course a lot of play-fighting can contain this) then I'd worry, but if they're always playing and chasing together, I'd leave them to it. Girl cats are much feistier than males as a rule, especially girl cats who've been mated and had kittens (as Lily did before she came to you - have I got that right?) If she didn't want to play she'd soon put him in his place, despite being half his weight.

My youngest cat is very feisty and managed to come into call the night before she was due at the vet's for spaying. She's always been difficult to handle (though we're getting there) but will now snuggle up beside me, wanting her back 'scruffled up' and gentle bottom-slaps...hmm...some dim and distant instinct for the tom she never had, maybe. She'll chirp sharply, purring - and sometimes even whip round on me, but the next minute the bottom's there again, wanting its scruffles lol.

It's better to worry than to expect everything to be fine (you have to think ahead for them) but sometimes it can be best just to let them sort it out...errm, I'm the world's WORST worrybucket so I oughtn't to preach about worrying lol

[suelily]

Thanks Liloth you are so right if she was trying to avoid him then I would have something to worry about. I wish I was as wise as you when it comes to cats. I have a cat climbing frame that she loves and Dexy has never went on it so I was thinking of wall shelves which I was going to put up in my dining area which I do not use so she has somewhere else to play and perch on. I am addicted to Jackson Galaxy the cat behaviourist who always shows super highways for indoor cats which I love. The dining area is used for there litter trays at one end and feeding bowls at the other. My mum keeps telling me not to make my home into a cat sanctuary and I say "why not"?

[suelily]

Oh and yes Lily had kittens before she came to me.

[Lilith]

Thanks for the kind words It isn't really wisdom; it's time and experience and soon you'll be taking it all in your stride.

Cat sanctuary lol - I think ALL our homes are cat sanctuaries...

All the best -you're doing fine