Was I right to get a companion for Rocky?

[MarySkater]

This is the background: last December I adopted Rocky and Bridie. They were both about 6 years old, had been together in their last home, where they were said to have been neglected, and had been in the rescue centre for 4 months. The RSPCA said they had a close bond, and wanted them rehomed together.

They settled in well with me, but at the end of June Bridie died suddenly. Left alone, Rocky became more "clingy" with me. When out in my enclosed back garden, he took to hunting, which he had never done before. I thought he might be bored, since he was used to having company.

Two months after Bridie died, I brought home Ria, a 3-month kitten. Once before, I had introduced a kitten to a resident adult cat, and they got on well together. This time it hasn't gone so well. Ria naturally wants to play, but Rocky doesn't, and she pesters him. Rocky and Bridie used to play-fight, which usually ended with Rocky pinning Bridie down. Or they would chase about, taking turns to be the chaser and the chasee. But if Rocky and Ria bat at one another, it always ends with Rocky running off and Ria chasing him. I wish he would slap her down a bit harder, and then she might learn when to leave him alone. He does hiss at her which she doesn't seem to mind, and when he runs off she takes that as an invitation to follow him. His escape is to jump up on something high, which at the moment Ria can't do.

I've put together a video of some of the interaction, here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxbQDhW ... e=youtu.be

They've been together now for nearly two months, and Ria is coming up for 5 months old. Rocky doesn't follow me about as much as he did when he was alone, and he seems to have given up hunting. Maybe he's not bored now (or maybe has already killed off all the shrews daft enough to move into a cat's garden). I don't make a fuss of Ria any time Rocky is watching, and he still gets time on my lap, which Ria doesn't want to do.

I'm wondering if I've made a mistake bringing in Ria, and if I should have left Rocky as an only cat. Or if I should get another kitten/ young cat to play with Ria, and then she might leave Rocky alone. But would another stranger in his territory stress him even more? I don't really want to have 3 cats, nor do I want to give Ria away to someone else. But I wondered what experience other people have had, in trying to give a cat a new friend where a previous companion has died.

Mary

[Lilith]

Lol - the opening of your very good video. Rocky sitting there ignoring Ria: 'I am not seeing this kitten AT ALL...but she may play with my tail if she likes'. Older cats nearly always flick the end of the tail as an invitation to a kitten - sort of, 'I'm feeling lazy and you're a nuisance - but you may approach.'

This is Molly as a kitten, 4 years ago, and her Uncle Finn, who would have been 15 or so at least -

moll teaser.jpg (75.15 KiB) Viewed 3702 times

Hey I'm getting confident with pics lol.

I've seen it time and time again, and as I see it, Rocky encourages Ria, even paw-boxes a bit, bites Ria's paws gently, but when he's had enough, walks off. He's not really angry with her or fazed by her, he's behaving like a weary big brother, pestered by his naughty little sister. And when HE wants to stay put, he stays. If he disliked her, he'd really wallop her, or jump up and avoid her straight away.

I've told this story before, but I once had a very dignified 3/4 Siamese (George aka the Beast of Bodmin) who was terribly cool and laid-back and growled at my Siamese kittens. But one day, when he didn't realise I was watching, he washed one ...

Settling in takes a long time sometimes but honestly, although other people may have other opinions, to me your two look fine. He's definitely putting her in her place, as the hissing proves, but he's tolerating her and maybe even beginning to enjoy having his 'naughty little sister' around

[Kay]

They look fine together to me too - the absence of puffed up tails shows there's no aggression on either side

Rocky may be finding Ria a bit of a pest at times, but she has livened up his life, and he is not at all unhappy that she's sharing his space - the fact that she rolls over beside him and shows him her tummy means she accepts his superior status, and that will be a major factor in their future relations - reinforcing his status by, for instance, feeding him first will help

[Ruth B]

Watching the video I have to agree with the others and say I don't really think you have a problem there. Seeing them on the sofa together they were play boxing with a little nipping, watch Rocky's tail, its twitching but not hard lashing, when he retreats to the high ground it is definitely going more, but by then it is acting as a message that he has had enough.

I have to admit I think I have had more trouble with one of my youngsters and my golden oldie Tiggy than you have there, and even they are starting to settle in more. Saturn at times seems like a typical lad, teasing the old granny cat, she however has a mean right hook and isn't afraid to use it. As long as there is somewhere they can get that is defensible enough to stop the antagonist following and as long as there is no actual harm being done between them I don't think you need worry.

The only other thing to watch out for is passive aggressive behaviour normally in the form of blocking things like litter trays or food and water bowls. As long as there are other trays and bowls that the cat can get to it isn't normally a problem but if the only tray or bowl is being blocked by a cat and the other has to run the furry gauntlet to get there it can cause stress which can lead to problems, hence the normal advise of plenty of bowls and trays. Saturn will try this tactic lying across the top of the stairs, which means the other two either stay up or stay down stairs until he gets bored or we pick him up and give him a corporal cuddling. There are trays, food and water available both up and downstairs so it isn't that much of a problem.

Give them time and I am sure they will settle in together. I also have to admit that Rocky is a hansom tuxie, and Ria is just gorgeous.

[bobbys girl]

Lovely film, and I agree with the others. I think you have nothing to worry about. Ria is still very young and if Rocky really didn't like her playing he'd 'sort her out' with a real wack - he's so much bigger!

I wish you could have seen what happened here last night. We have recliner sofas (never dared to use them because of the cats) which have hollow pockets in the back. Gracie has claimed one of those as her den. The others know it and Purdy and Willow stay away as they don't want to be ambushed by bully Grace (BTW why we called her 'Grace' is beyond me ) Bob doesn't care.

I was watching TV when the seat to the side of me started rocking and Grace started making unholy noises from it's depths. Bob had stuck his paw in the gap and batted Gracie's bum. He then sprung out from behind the sofa, 'Ta Dah', and 'boing' off down the hall like a gazelle. An everyday story of country folk.

[MarySkater]

Thanks, everyone, for the reassurance. As the only other introduction I've done went very quickly, maybe I had unrealistic expectations. I was hoping by now that they'd be at the stage of mutual grooming, and lying together like bookends (both of which Rocky did with Bridie). But I'll give it more time.

I have tried to make it clear to Rocky that he is top cat. Ria is entitled to attention as well, but I fuss her when Rocky isn't in the room. As regards resource guarding, Ria is the one who likes to lie at the top of the stairs. But Rocky doesn't seem to have any problem walking around her, although he may give her a dirty look. There are litter trays and water both upstairs and downstairs. They both get fed downstairs, but at opposite ends of the room, and with microchip-coded covered bowls, so they can't take each other's food.

I'm going to be away for a few days next month. I've booked adjacent pens for them in the cattery, because I thought Rocky might find it too much to be shut in a small space with Ria. But maybe he'll miss her, and appreciate her more when they get home.

Mary

[booktigger]

Thanks, everyone, for the reassurance. As the only other introduction I've done went very quickly, maybe I had unrealistic expectations. I was hoping by now that they'd be at the stage of mutual grooming, and lying together like bookends (both of which Rocky did with Bridie). But I'll give it more time.

I have tried to make it clear to Rocky that he is top cat. Ria is entitled to attention as well, but I fuss her when Rocky isn't in the room. As regards resource guarding, Ria is the one who likes to lie at the top of the stairs. But Rocky doesn't seem to have any problem walking around her, although he may give her a dirty look. There are litter trays and water both upstairs and downstairs. They both get fed downstairs, but at opposite ends of the room, and with microchip-coded covered bowls, so they can't take each other's food.

I'm going to be away for a few days next month. I've booked adjacent pens for them in the cattery, because I thought Rocky might find it too much to be shut in a small space with Ria. But maybe he'll miss her, and appreciate her more when they get home.

Mary

Mutual grooming and lying like bookends is rare with non-related cats, so you might never get that.

[bobbys girl]

Mutual grooming and lying like bookends is rare with non-related cats, so you might never get that.[/quote] Not impossible though. I recently took a photo of Bob and Willow 'bookending' on the back of the sofa. Sofa and both cats are black - photo didn't come out well! So you'll just have to take my word for it

[MarySkater]

Mutual grooming and lying like bookends is rare with non-related cats, so you might never get that.

I'll keep that in mind. I've always assumed that Rocky and Bridie were not litter-mates, since they were different colour, size, coat type and body type. But I know you can get quite a mixed bag in a moggie litter, so it's possible they were siblings.

I also have to admit that Rocky is a hansom tuxie, and Ria is just gorgeous.

Thank you! The two cats I had previously were both tuxedos, so when I decided to adopt last year, I thought it would be nice to get something different. I had picked Rocky and Bridie because Bridie was a lovely long-haired tortie. When I lost Bridie, I spent some time looking for another long-haired tortie that I could enjoy. Ria is a pedigree Norwegian Forest Cat. I saw her advertised on the internet when she was quite small, and I reserved her, then had to spend long weeks looking at photos of her getting older (and I went to visit her once as well) until she was 13 weeks and able to leave the breeder.

Mary

[booktigger]

Mutual grooming and lying like bookends is rare with non-related cats, so you might never get that.

I'll keep that in mind. I've always assumed that Rocky and Bridie were not litter-mates, since they were different colour, size, coat type and body type. But I know you can get quite a mixed bag in a moggie litter, so it's possible

Mary

It is amazing what kittens you can get - we have some kind of colour point kittens from a dark tortie mum at the moment - they are getting darker so will be interesting to see how they are as adults.

[Lilith]

Ain't that the truth - my (tortie) Tess (who I first met when she was carrying round a shameful bellyful of little D'Urbervilles) inspired the following limerick:-

A pretty young miss, rather naughty
And with the toms not very haughty -
The result of her sins,
Was quadruplets, not twins -
Two ginger, one black, and one tortie!

Also a few toms may mate a lass and fertilise an egg or two in their turn so not everyone in the litter has the same dad

[MarySkater]

Love the limerick, Lilith. I've heard a similar one about a human called Miss Starkey, but it wouldn't be PC to quote that one these days!

Yes, unsupervised matings of cats (or dogs) can result in litter-mates having different dads. It's less likely with pedigree animals since their matings are (supposedly) more controlled.

[Lilith]

Lol Mary, you're right, it was a copy of the Miss Starkey one and yes that wasn't pc at all

There used to be a horrible superstition about dogs being mismated, and that was about how if a bitch was mated by the wrong chap, forever she'd never produce pedigree pups again, how silly is that, and how cruel too, as the poor lass was generally pts

Yes, pedigree matings ought to be controlled although in my Meez breeding days I heard about expected seal point kittens emerging tabby, and the dreadful tale of a superb and promising stud whose current girlfriend, left alone to cohabit with him (NOT a good idea as girls in call can be aggressive with the boy) crept up on him and sank her teeth into his errm manhood - ouch!

His brilliant career was ruined. But most stud owners are much more responsible than this

[Mayday21]

Ms Skater loved the video & although I've no younger siblings looks pretty normal to me. The young un annoying the oldies. And Ria is being subservient to Rocky. How I envy creative people! Videos, pics & ditties Vivian

[catslave16]

Loved the video, Mary, and the genius use of music! By the way, I noticed you have a cat arch in your living room, for 'self grooming'. Do either Rocky or Ria use it? I ask because I got one for Rufus. He totally ignored it, even when I sprinkled it with the catnip that was included. I passed it on to Frankie, three doors away, who also ignored it. It then went to Kitty next door, who also... you've guessed it. Does anyone know a cat who uses one of those things?

[MarySkater]

Thanks, Catslave16. I'm rather a novice at video, but was able to work it out with Windows Live Movie Maker. I've more experience with music; I used to edit music for a skating club. Once I'd finished the video, and decided on the "Cats" overture, I just had to time-stretch the music to the right length, done with Sound Forge. Any place where the music seems to match the action is purely coincidental!

Yes, Rocky quite likes the cat arch. He rubs his head on the brush, and sometimes claws the pad, or lies on it. I found sprinkling the pad with catnip was too messy. So I cut the foot off an old pair of tights, poured the catnip into the toe and tied it to the bottom of the arch. Works quite well. My other scratcher, which Ria prefers, is a carpet tile, a coarse one probably aimed at office flooring, glued and stapled to a board. You can see it leaning against the end of the sofa in the film.

Mary

[Crewella]

A little late to this (busy week) but I agree with the others, they look like they get on pretty well to me. My original family of cats were all related and often slept together in a big heap, but it's rare for me to find any of my current gang (not related) sleeping together these days. Different ends of the sofa is usually about as close as it gets.