Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

For all your feline miscellany - any interesting stories, news or subjects that do not fit in the other sections.
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Shelly and Dora
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Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Shelly and Dora » Tue Jun 10, 2014 7:18 pm

I've just started working with several different teams and in a few different branches to what I was used to. One of the woman has recently handed her notice in. I was relatively sad to see this as she has 35 years experience with the company.

HOWEVER...... Having just relocated my office to another branch I have taken my mouse mat, my calendar and my mug with me. All have Dora on them - my gorgeous girl. It makes me feel closer to her when I'm at work, and often makes me smile when I look at the things on my desk with her beautiful face smiling back at me.

Today, said woman from paragraph above says..... & I kid you not!!!!!! ''I was looking at your mouse mat. She's not a pretty cat is she''......

Errrrrrr hello. At the time I just looked at her, said ''shes the prettiest girl in the world'' and walked away.

It's been really niggling at me since. Horrible woman. Why would you say that? Even if you think it, surely you would keep it to yourself. How dare she. I couldn't be more offended.

Worst thing is, I had previously said I'd give this woman a lift into work tomorrow & can't 'back out' as I need her there at a reasonable time for key management/undoing safe to branch etc.

Glad she's leaving now!!!

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Jacks » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:18 pm

If she has any sense, Shelly, she will have thought about your reaction and she'll find a way to apologise tomorrow when you're giving her a lift.

Of course she may not - but if she has any sensitivity she would have been embarrassed. Try not to dwell on it - you know Dora's gorgeous - we all do - but not everyone likes cats any more than everyone likes children ;-)

Fusses to that gorgeous little princess xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by HRHFluffy » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:39 pm

I feel outraged for you Shelly!!

How dare she say that about our Dora! What an insensitive woman she is. I will be interested to hear whether she does apologise in the morning. Poor you by the way having to give her a lift in. I'd drop her off half a mile before you get to work and make her walk the rest of the way.

If she does apologise then you should say that you did think it was an insensitive remark that she made. And then give her a punch on the nose!! No sorry that's Fluffy's influence :)

I would feel exactly the same. It would really eat away at me. So you must rise above it and pity the woman for not knowing beauty when she sees it.

Sending your gorgeous girl a kiss from me and a hug from me to you xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Shelly and Dora » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:55 pm

I know my girl is totally beautiful inside and out unlike this insensitive woman. I'm incensed that anyone could feel the need to share such a nasty, hurtful and unnecessary comment. If she says anything about it tomorrow I will not hesitate to tell her clearly how I feel about it. If she doesn't say anything (which I think will be the case) I'm going to share my disbelief in confidence with the branch gossip knowing that it will get back to this woman and then make her feel uncomfortable....

Roll on the 19th which is her last day!

I was supposed to be going to her leaving meal on Thursday..... Got a feeling something more important will crop up - like going home to spend time with beautiful, kind hearted and loving beings....

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Hazel » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:56 pm

How rude!
I know how upset you must be, I've heard similar lots of times with having pugs (which I think are the most beautiful of dogs).
I was really offended when I took Mika to see a new vet last year and the first thing he said was "oh he's cross eyed". He is a little, but you wouldn't dream of saying that about someone's child would you! Why is it acceptable to say it about someone's fur baby?

The thing is, Dora is beautiful! I'm not just saying that, she's sooooo pretty. I also have pictures of my pets (past and present) all over my office, it makes you remember why you are there earning pennies doesn't it :)

Just forget about it, silly woman.

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by HRHFluffy » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:19 pm

Well said Hazel!!

Shelly I think you have made the right decision about her leaving party. What a complete waste of time. Dora will benefit far more from being with her Mummy.

Two firemen were at my house the other day (long story) and happened to comment on how BIG my lovely Fluffy is. I am used to people commenting on her size and I have had many a laugh on here about how her fur makes her look big. Nobody believes me any more when I say that underneath all that fur she really is tiny. I know it's slightly different but I still spring to her defence. However I got my own back with the firemen. I got them to go in my loft and check that the gap in the party wall isn't a fire hazard. They weren't laughing then I can tell you!! It was a hot day outside too so they did suffer a bit in the heat :lol:

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Walesgang » Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:03 am

She clearly has no sense, stupid woman!

Fusses to your beautiful girl! Xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by hgale » Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:45 am

I was always taught "if you can't say something nice, say nothing". We all know the truth about darling Dora and that is what matters!

{hugs} to you Shelly and a big fuss to beautiful Dora.

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Wed Jun 11, 2014 7:14 am

Oh goodness me! Some people, eh?! She must have known Dora is your baby. I wonder if she would say that if it had been a picture of a human baby who didn't quite come up to her standards of aesthetics! I guess poor Lyn is going to get this all time with the handsome Jagger. How could she possibly think the Dora is not pretty!? Our stunning little girlie?

Poor Fluff! Now Edgar is a big cat but OH still tells him it's all solid muscle. My mum said Pepsi was fat once. Only once, mind!

Anyway Edgar is outraged that his GIRLFRIENDLIES has been insulted and wants vengeance!

Xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by charlie_rabbit01 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:35 am

What a horrible thing to say, she's very pretty, unusual colouring. Well unusual to me, I'm new to cats.

I too was taught, if you cant say anything nice then don't say anything at all.

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Hunnybunny » Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:16 am

Is it really relevant what other people think or in fact say?

Surly a flippant comment isn't worth getting worked up or upset about............. theres to much real tragic stuff in the world to get het up about. Dora is gorgeous to you and thats all that matters.

People could call my kids ugly and its just water off a ducks back as their opinion is just not relevant.

(My kids are in fact beautiful but as their mum I would say that)

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:23 am

People often make flippant and hurtful remarks, and we can and do brush them off as not worth the bother, Hunnybunny, but sometimes, even though we are aware that in the great scheme of things it's not really important, it just gets to us. My OH is very good at ignoring ignorant nonsense. When I get in a flap over something someone has said he says very calmly, 'Just let it go over your head', and 'Ignore it, it doesn't matter, you know what's right.' He would agree with you, but he would also understand that some of us are more vulnerable and easily hurt over trivial or careless things. He has to understand that to put up with me! I do often wish I was less easily hurt and more stoical like him, but we all have something to offer. X

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by jan1957 » Wed Jun 11, 2014 5:46 pm

Sarah, you said it all!
Shelly, Dora rules!

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by HRHFluffy » Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:02 pm

Yes well said Sarah.

Life would be so much easier for me if I had a thick skin. But I don't. Oh well!!

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Shelly and Dora » Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:26 pm

Thank you for all your positive and constructive comments. It's nice to know we can share our frustrations on here without fear of negativity or ridicule.

Blasted thing is that my boss is unable to attend tomorrow nights meal which means I'm 'expected' to attend as its bank policy to have a manager at these things for the presentation etc.

I will be eating & running! At least I'll have 'done my bit' then.

Unsurprisingly there was no mention of her comment from her today......

X

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by JulieandBarney » Wed Jun 11, 2014 7:42 pm

Sarah, Jacks, Jan and Carol........ plus other "positive" coments ......I am with you 100 per cent on this......there are so many people in life who feel that they need to put their " 2 pennorth in " which is usually negative or derogatory .....whether it matters to you or not is absolutely totally irrelevant !!! That would mean that I have free rein to be totally abusive to anyone, whether it be to do with their pet or their life ...but that's ok , because ' "I should not care about their opinons,!!"

I do feel that this is a sad reflection on society today, that we are expected to just shrug off rudeness and ill manners because 'does it really matter ?" :evil: and hearing that on here is sad....What about Why don't people try to be more polite and courteous ? or is that too much too expect from society now ? ....Thank heavens that on here there are only a miniscule minority who believe that rudeness and disrespect, be it towards an animal or not is totally acceptable..........Shelley, Dora is totally adorable...and yes you are completely right to be be angry...Id be annoyed, I would be happy to meet up with this silly woman !!!!!....xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by HRHFluffy » Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:37 pm

Hi Julie. I agree with absolutely everything you've said!! You've put it so much better than I ever could. Go and give your lovely Barney a cuddle from me and tickle his tummy if you dare :)

Shelly I'm sorry you have to go tomorrow :( Make a sharp exit straight after you've eaten and then you can be home with Dora. I'm not surprised she didn't make any comment today. Maybe you were giving her Pepsi's "death stare" that Sarah tells us about :lol:

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Shelly and Dora » Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:40 pm

Carol I was trying very hard to maintain a professional stance but I think you are probably right!! I think a Pepsi death stare or 2 probably came into play at regular points today!! x

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by HRHFluffy » Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:55 pm

Yay!!! Way to go Shelly!! Pepsi will be so proud xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:10 pm

Oh, she is!! Pepsi has taken nearly 18 years to refine that state. She is impressed that her Auntie Shelly has mastered it so quickly! Xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Lyn from Australia » Fri Jun 13, 2014 6:08 pm

I adopted Mischa because it seemed everyone thought she was ugly - her mother was adopted, her black and ginger brothers and sisters were too, the RSPCA volunteer branch had her picture on their web site followed by the heading "Am I not pretty enough?....." I was totally flummoxed as from the moment I saw her picture I was in love! I suspect that the old saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is quite true. I think to some people a cat that isn't ginger or tabby isn't quite normal! As silly as thinking black cats are ugly, plain or bad luck. It's their loss.
Dora is nearly every bit as beautiful as my Mischa, Thea and my darling Ruby :) :lol:
Torties rule!!! Following are pictures of Mischa, 2 x Ruby, 2 x Thea, beauties one and all.
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Shelly and Dora
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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Shelly and Dora » Fri Jun 13, 2014 6:33 pm

Thank you Lyn xx

The pictures are gorgeous.

I'm blessed to have Dora as she is beautiful inside & out. Wouldn't swap her for the world xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by JulieandBarney » Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:16 pm

Hi Lynn and Shelley......your fur babies are beautiful........my Barney admires their photos !!!.......Think he has a soft spot for Dora though Lynn .......even though she has a few admirers already !!!.........but Mischa is lovely too.......think he is stuck for choice !!......xxx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by JulieandBarney » Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:19 pm

Hi Lynn.....by the way, I had the same with Barney, no one wanted him because he was black and white , with a torn ear, hardly any teeth and at least 8 years old !!!........but I adore the little fella.....xx

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Lyn from Australia » Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:48 pm

Thanks everyone. Shelly, I love the video I've seen of Dora on Facebook, with her rusty little meow and the way she is so child-like and curious.
BTW, I'll be in trouble if I don't remember to tell you that Rose, my current avatar puss, is also a tortie. She and Thea are sisters and I would describe them both as tabby-torties. Thea is more tortie than tabby, and Rose is more tabby than tortie.

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Lyn from Australia » Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:53 pm

JulieandBarney wrote:Hi Lynn.....by the way, I had the same with Barney, no one wanted him because he was black and white , with a torn ear, hardly any teeth and at least 8 years old !!!........but I adore the little fella.....xx

If people would look past appearances and get to know these beautiful creatures, they would have much richer lives, full of fun and love. There's always going to be someone so shallow that something as insignificant as a torn ear would colour their decision as to whether to save a life or not. :( :(

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by mr_frisky » Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:30 am

I put a photo of my cats by my computer a couple of years ago at work, and one of my colleagues said 'we don't allow pictures of ugly animals here' (joking, presumably, trying to wind me up), so I said 'Better not put any pictures of your wife up then!'

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Sun Jun 15, 2014 5:57 pm

Mr Frisky, what a brilliant response! I wish I could think if reposts like this at the time!

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by mr_frisky » Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:03 pm

It's easier if it's banter, I suppose, and you're used to it.

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Re: Sometimes its kinder to keep your thoughts to yourself!

Post by Jane » Sun Jun 22, 2014 9:31 am

This thread will be closed as it has drifted from the original topic, and some of the comments breached our guidelines and needed to be moderated.

Please may I draw your attention to the forum guidelines:

"Any issues with the running of the forum, should be taken up with the moderating team directly, and not on the forum itself."

Thank you.

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