Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

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SovereignCrux
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Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

Post by SovereignCrux » Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:51 pm

We just adopted a rescue kitten about 5 weeks ago after we lost our beloved kitty of nearly 22 years to kidney failure ( I raised her alone, he only moved in 6 months ago and bonded with her right off the bat - she was so loving and gentle). It was a close time frame between these two events, but the kitten has helped divert our attention from our heartbreaking loss by channeling it into giving this little guy the best start in life we possibly can. Unfortunately, he had a severe respiratory infection and ringworm, both caught in the shelter, and has cost us a fortune in vet bills right off the bat. The lung issues have been resolved by medicine, but the ringworm is still being dealt with.

I know kittens are a lot more involved than senior kitties, I have raised a few throughout my life so I have that awareness. My boyfriend understands this, too, but since the awe of a new kitten has diminished some and become more common place in our daily routines, I feel that I am becoming the primary caretaker of the kitten (which he fell in love with and bonded with first, I was still greatly affected by the loss of my senior baby and took some time to open my heart fully to our new kitten - moving from one sick cat to another was difficult for me).

My boyfriend works long hours, he doesn't get to be home as much like myself, who works from home. So when he is here, I try to let him have kitten time and not get in the way too much so they can have their moments. However, the kitten has an abundance of energy and this manifests in zooming around the house and inevitably attacking us - we're both covered in massive amounts of kitten claw marks (and we trimmed his front paw claws which had little effect on the damage rendered us - and don't worry, he is indoor only so he's not in danger with trimmed claws). I know we need to divert the kitten into play with toys to expend these rambunctious energy bursts, and I do this throughout each day. But my boyfriend barely plays with him now, if he does it's for maybe 3-5 minutes then he stops. I try to encourage him to play with kitten and the why, but he's just become very lazy about it. Meanwhile, we're being attacked.

We got the kitten together, we intend to raise it together. He does field the litter box about 75% of the time, and he does the morning feeding. But beyond this, it seems like all responsibility has fallen on myself, which is a huge change from when we had our senior kitty who required a lot of nursing and attention because she could not walk well and needed help with a lot of issues (75% of her spine was fused). I don't want the kitten to become a point of contention, but when I ask him to play with the kitten I am getting sub-par results compared to two weeks ago when he was all about kitten play time. Any ideas on how to get him more involved willingly? I'd rather it not become a nagging issue. We have a great selection of interactive toys, so that's not a problem.

Last night in annoyance at kitten kamikaze diving, my boyfriend looked at me and said, "It used to be different, it was so calm here. Now I can't do anything without him getting in my face." While he loves the kitten, I am worried about this attitude. All he wants to do is hold the kitten for hours, but the kitten is too energetic and half the time wants to get up and play instead of being held - I don't blame the kitten for this.

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Kay
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Re: Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

Post by Kay » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:43 pm

the thing that leaps out at me from your post is how much easier life would be if you had two kittens, so they could play with each other and tire each other out at the same time

but if that isn't possible you can at least know that the manic kitten phase doesn't last very long, and he will also learn to retract his claws by the time he's 6 months or so, so patience will pay off

as for your lazy boyfriend, I must admit I have some sympathy for him as I find playing with cats rather boring - but a laser pen could be a compromise as it requires very little effort on the human's part, and a great deal on the cat's part

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Ruth B
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Re: Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

Post by Ruth B » Tue Sep 26, 2017 7:32 am

Unfortunately there is little that can be done to force anyone to do something they don't want to do without nagging them.

The difference between an older cat and a kitten is massive and i wonder if your boyfriend really understood what he was getting into and how much work it would be. When you first see a kitten it is cute and lovable and fun, but once the 'shiny' has worn off you realise that it is also a lot more work.

A second kitten might help, but it will double the cost of having a pet and the workload of litter trays, cleaning etc, though they might play together there is no guarantee and they both might decide that the game of pounce on human is still more fun. I also hate to say it, but from what you have said about the condition the kitten came in, i would be looking for a different rescue to get a second one from. Also make sure the ringworm is totally cleared up before introducing a second kitten, it is very contagious and you don't want to get one clear just to find it has been passed on to a newcomer.

The laser pen might work to help him interact and play with the kitten, but if he is really wanting to be doing something else then it play sessions will still remain short.

In the end I think you might have to accept that you will be doing a lot of the kitten caring and if he doesn't want kitten time in an evening don't feel bad about playing with the kitten yourself.

I also don't want to read to much into this, but if your boyfriend is reluctant to help with the kitten, you might want to have a look at your whole relationship, are there other problems and the kitten is just something to focus on.

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Re: Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

Post by SovereignCrux » Tue Oct 03, 2017 5:16 am

Ruth B wrote:A second kitten might help, but it will double the cost of having a pet
We can't afford another pet at this time, we are trying to save for a move and the medical costs of the kitten plus all the kitteny supplies set us back quite a bit. The idea of expending twice that, possibly, to account for another kitten's needs wouldn't rest well on our budget. I actually wanted another cat, possibly a young adult this time, but my boyfriend did point out why right now is not a good time and it made sense.
Ruth B wrote:I also don't want to read to much into this, but if your boyfriend is reluctant to help with the kitten, you might want to have a look at your whole relationship, are there other problems and the kitten is just something to focus on.
Um no, our relationship is incredibly healthy. The issue with him and the kitten is completely unrelated. It has more to do with him being tired from work, but is tired when home before and after, as well. So he doesn't feel up to entertaining the kitten, only holding it. but the kitten has energy and doesn't always want to be held still.

Thanks for the feedback.

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Re: Kamikaze Kitten + Lazy Co-Owner

Post by shazxx50 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 9:44 am

Unfortunately the kitten stage does go on, my girl is 14 months and is a complete nutter, she jumps our legs at every opportunity she gets, i have spent lots on things trying to calm her, and if i could afford another kitten i would. She loves to wreck our wall paper and carpets... I wait in anticipation for this phase to pass.....I did buy one toy which keeps her entertain for a while its battery operated so no one actually has to play with her if your fella is tired this would work well...or look online for other battery operated toys
good luck

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