Need advice re rehoming one of my kittens

[Miss_Marley]

Hello I'm new here
I'm looking for advice my cat has 4 kittens which all have deposits paid and are 8 weeks this weekend. 3 of them I have arranged to be collected this weekend and thr new owners are very excited to be collecting them. However one is being a bit difficult she wants to collect him two weeks later than the others. She'd originally said it would be a couple if days after. Now she says she's on holiday but I'm a bit dubious if it's true cos she's since said she was at work.
I have said I'm not comfortable with him staying an extra two weeks. Not because I'm not happy to have him but because I'm concerned it'll be a little confusing for him staying all that extra time whilst his siblings are gone but also because my cat is still quite young (2) and she's getting fed up with the demands of being a mum. And I think it'll get more so as thr weeks go on. I've explained this to her and said I'm not comfortable with it but she insists it's not a problem and she did this with her last kitten.
I'm considering returning her £10 deposit. Is this harsh? I'm just feeling like something is off.

[Lilith]

Hi and welcome

I used to breed Siamese and I was always relieved if the kittens went gradually, so as to let the queen get used to their leaving; it's true that as the kittens get older the mother cat can get a bit tired of it all and kick them off the milk bar etc, however, I don't think an extra couple of weeks' stay for this kitten sounds too bad. I did sometimes keep kittens and things worked out fine.

But if you have that feeling that something is 'off' then maybe you need to check things out further. Do you do a home check? Rescues always do nowadays; I confess I never did (this was in the 1980s when I bred) but I think I'd be inclined to nowadays, though I realise at this late date it might be tricky to introduce the idea.

I only once had this fear myself, after parting with two kittens, and I was right, but mercifully the buyer was genuine - he just happened to be allergic; when I went to collect the kittens his face was covered in a swollen rash. The kittens were fine; it was clear he'd taken care of them. But the feeling that all is not well, for whatver reason, is scary!

It may simply be that this buyer is just a scatty person but has every intention of giving the kitten a good home, or indeed that she's having second thoughts, but if the latter, I don't feel that it would be the end of the world. Better to keep the kitten and find a genuine buyer. Whatever happens, the kitten comes first, even if Mother gets a bit tetchy.

But by all means do listen to your gut reaction and be careful.

I do hope everything works out, and hope this helps for now - many people on here work in rescue and hopefully they can provide more practical and up to date advice, all the very best

[Miss_Marley]

Thank you so much for replying.
I really do feel like something isn't right. The thing is she's not even from my town so I can't check. It's like she's not excited to get him. The other buyers all acting much differently. I can't shake the feeling something isn't right.
I really want him to go to a nice home.
So you really think it's within my rights to find him another family?

[Lilith]

I can't say yes or no because I'm not there in your situation or hers, but you're clearly worried.

At the moment he's your property and responsibility - legally you've no obligation towards this buyer. It might be an idea to ring her up for a chat on some pretext,to try and suss her out further; it could simply be that she doesn't want to bother you with phone calls or chat or isn't a chatty person, but might open up if she felt you wanted to talk. But if you feel very strongly that you'd rather call it a day, you've every right to give back word and refund the deposit, even if you make a tactful excuse, such as saying you don't want to part with him - though in that case best not advertise him again where she's likely to notice.

I meant to say, by the way, don't worry about his being bewildered at being left alone with his mother; a single kitten generally enjoys the undivided attention, and I feel this ought to be the least of your worries.

I do hope everything works out for him and that he finds the right home

[meriad]

I'm a firm believer in the saying: If in doubt out. Follow your gut instinct if you're not happy. I'd be curious about her previous kitten how long she had it (still has it) and maybe you could ask for vet details and get a vet reference. That may help ease your mind. If there is no vet record then I definitely wouldn't let her adopt

Or contact a local rescue and see if they could help with - for a donation of course - do a home check for you.

Also, another pro with keeping him a bit longer is that the kitten could be neutered before he goes off to his new home?



And then given that this is the forum is not only for advise (which is invaluable) but also very focused on cat rescue I have to ask; will you have your cat spayed (if not already done) now that the kittens are old enough etc

[Summercat]

I thought generally kittens are best left with the mum and siblings till ten or twelve weeks ideally. Eight weeks seems a bit early for cats, they learn important socialization skills when with mum and crew. The kitten left longer is honestly better off then the sibs leaving at eight weeks.
Of course people who dump cats at rescues or outside often do so at an earlier age, such as even five or six weeks. The person getting the kitten has better odds of a well adjusted cat the longer they have with their family group when young, as long as human socialization is included.

[meriad]

I thought generally kittens are best left with the mum and siblings till ten or twelve weeks ideally. Eight weeks seems a bit early for cats, they learn important socialization skills when with mum and crew. The kitten left longer is honestly better off then the sibs leaving at eight weeks.

very good point and 100% agree