Tom Cat Spraying

[AndyMac]

I had to have my cat put to sleep about 5 weeks back and am not thinking of getting another yet. My next door neighbours cat which is a tom cat a few weeks ago approached me when I was doing some gardening and came into the house and had a walk around. I made the mistake of giving it some of my cats food and now I cannot get rid of him.

I do notice when he is in the house he acts as if he is spraying - his tail is raised and he shakes his bottom but nothing comes out. I remember my cat when she was spraying against the hedge she would spray urine. Is this normal behaviour for a tom cat which I assume is fixed. I am concerned he will spray in the house and follow him in each room just to make sure he does not spray urine.

[Lilith]

Cheeky little beggar!

Yes I've seen both girls and boys do this, but mercifully without firing the little water pistol. I think it's a dominance thing - this is MY territory ... you know how it's said that Nature abhors a vacuum; cats always KNOW about a catless space and will make sure it's filled pdq ...

Hope you're going on ok - he can't take Jet's place but perhaps he will be company

[AndyMac]

Thanks Lilith - I miss Jet every day and the relationship I have with this cat is very different to the bond I had with Jet - I realise how close we were with her sleeping with me every night and laying on my lap, I would chase Jet around the house and lift and hug her but I would not even attempt to lift this cat without the fear of having my face scratched.

Its owner does not seem to give this cat much attention and she would go away for a few days and leave the cat outside. I have been feeding it and it has stayed a few nights sleeping on the satee. It comes and goes as it is mostly an outdoor cat and when it is in the house he is rubbing his face against doors etc and shaking his bum at every occassion. I dont mind having him in the house (well not that fussed on the ginger fur everywhere) but do not want to get to close in case he decides to stay permanetly with me. She has moved her BF in and they are now a two dog household and the cat does not seem interested in being at their house and prefers the quietness of mine.

It has made me think about adopting another cat if I really could bond with another cat. I would not have the energy for a kitten and know many cats in shelters need a home but working six days a week I just dont know. I think it is too soon after Jet and feel guilty having this cat in the house eating from her food bowls and feel like I am cheating on her so to speak !!

[booktigger]

If you think it is too soon, it is - I have adopted too quickly before and then found it really hard to bond with them. Maybe you could try fostering for a while, so there is no pressure?

[Lilith]

Lol Booktigger - Andy already is!

Aww Andy you will feel like this, but it's a tribute to Jet that you're already letting this guy near you and, opportunistic cat that he is, he's grooming you.

Bet he's moved in by next winter, ginger hairs and all ... a house is not a home without a thick coating of ginger hairs ...

[AndyMac]

Thanks Booktigger - I think I am already fostering this cat - he is called Hudson. Lilith you just posted as I did - ha ha.

As Lilith said he is company for me and someting to focus my attention on. I was used to the black hair from Jet but he rubs against my leg and the ginger hair is pasted to me. He seems to be well treated but just concerned when his owner leaves him for a few days. He seems to be a 'big pussy' and is not a fighting type of cat. When Jet was with me this cat never came near my house and now its like he lives with me. I was gardening yesterday evening and Hudson was laying in the garden beside me and when I went into the house to get a drink he was in behind me and then out again into the garden with me but I suspect he was after food.

I do feel guilty having him in the house so soon after Jet tho. I look at Jets urn and tell her she is not being replaced.

[Kay]

it's good that you are helping out a needy cat, and you don't have to bond with him to do so

taking on another cat is, to me, helping a needy cat out of rescue, and freeing up a space for another, and that is worth doing without taking into account your own need of a new companion

if you come to care for a new cat that is a bonus, and of course that is likely to be the outcome, but I wouldn't fret about that stage now, or feel it in any way breaks the bond you had with Jet

[booktigger]

Lol Booktigger - Andy already is!

Aww Andy you will feel like this, but it's a tribute to Jet that you're already letting this guy near you and, opportunistic cat that he is, he's grooming you.

Bet he's moved in by next winter, ginger hairs and all ... a house is not a home without a thick coating of ginger hairs ...

Well, not really, this cat does actually have an owner. Out of curiosity Andy, have you spoken to his owner about the situation?

[AndyMac]

Booktigger - yes I have spoken to its owner - she is young and comes and goes for a few days and tends to leave the cat outside no matter what the weather. I asked what type of food he eats and told her about Jet and the mountain of food I have and she didnt seem to mind that I am feeding him.