Coco and Chanel dilemma
- Mollycat
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Having to go through old stuff about when Molly was in hospital having her RI treatment has brought into focus just how far we've come in the last three years, much more I think than the first 5. Perhaps that challenge, traumatic as it was for her and me, taught her that I will pick her up again and this is her home and I am her human. We lost Boo months after her treatment, perhaps not having him to hide behind has forced her to be brave and confident. Maybe physical health has changed her. Maybe she has just reached an age where she can't be bothered to be stressed out all the time any more, I know I have! Maybe our home stress levels are that much better now.
But I do think there can be a level up to which they need care, and after which small challenges might actually be helpful therapeutically to develop confidence and affection, however small the improvement and however scaled down the little challenges. Molly has walked across our laps, accepted a little brushing, and walked across the dog, just in the past weeks - and last September given the chance in a different house she stepped outside after just a week. When I got her she barely came out from under the bed after a week. We are watching her become almost a normal cat in front of our eyes, after years of being a traumatised indoor feral.
You just never know, so I suppose we have to accept them exactly as they are and one day they start pelting us with surprises if we're very lucky.
But I do think there can be a level up to which they need care, and after which small challenges might actually be helpful therapeutically to develop confidence and affection, however small the improvement and however scaled down the little challenges. Molly has walked across our laps, accepted a little brushing, and walked across the dog, just in the past weeks - and last September given the chance in a different house she stepped outside after just a week. When I got her she barely came out from under the bed after a week. We are watching her become almost a normal cat in front of our eyes, after years of being a traumatised indoor feral.
You just never know, so I suppose we have to accept them exactly as they are and one day they start pelting us with surprises if we're very lucky.
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Well, I've had the girls for 5 years now, still no closer to touching them, Coco still hisses at me daily. I do think Chanel would come round if it weren't for her mum, even though she's 5 now, she's still got some curiosity, but it only extends to sniffing my finger. Although the other week when it was girl's night out, she did let me step over her to get in the kitchen, so she is realising I'm not a threat. And they aren't as bothered when they are out and I come down as I've forgotten something - I now sit downstairs messing on my phone for 5 mins when they've been out overnight, Chanel often comes and sits in the front room, Coco sits on the second step, and they don't always fly back in. But hopefully they are happy, they are still together, which wouldn't have happened otherwise, and they have full bellies and I've just put the heating on for an hour, so a nice radiator to sleep near. They don't sleep near each other as often, I have one of them fairly close, I'll see if I can get a better one of them over the weekend.
- Mollycat
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
There are so many ifs and maybes though. Perhaps if there was no Lucy they might be different, if they had a choice all the time to be in the same room as people or not, and had less time behind a closed door. But as my old boss used to say, we can only start from where we are. Bottom line is if they feel the room is their home, and they are settled, and they have their nights out and are comfortable enough with you, if they are happy then all's well, isn't it?
Molly goes on delivering surprises after 9 years, and there's been significant progress since we lost Boo. Although he helped her at the start, in a way she was also able to "hide" behind him and avoid putting her big brave girl pants on. All I'm saying is, accept them exactly as they are - as you do - and you might yet see change some day.
Molly goes on delivering surprises after 9 years, and there's been significant progress since we lost Boo. Although he helped her at the start, in a way she was also able to "hide" behind him and avoid putting her big brave girl pants on. All I'm saying is, accept them exactly as they are - as you do - and you might yet see change some day.
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
There certainly are Molly - I actually don't think they'd like to have access to the house all the time, and they feel safe in their room. Funnily enough both have been better with me today, Coco was the least hissy she's been all week (she's even been popping at me this week), so I was brave enough to approach her and she didn't touch my finger, but kind of sniffed it, so she got a dreamie, then I got them a toy from Pets at Home, didn't see it made a noise, so they aren't keen, but Chanel did brush her tail against my leg twice, so she got a dreamie too.
- Ruth B
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
I can't believe it has been 5 years, time does fly.
As for the 'are they happy' question, i would say they are, but I look at it more from a cats point of view than a humans. Cats thrive on routine and familiarity. Coco and Chanel are both in a place they now know well. While they may not be friendly with the humans and animals they share the house with, they know them and know they are predictable. They have food and warm, safe places to sleep, where they know they will be left alone so don't need to sleep with one eye open for danger as much (all cats do this to some degree). From what you have said there is enough going on for them to be entertained when they are awake. They have their own room for their Den area, and a small outer territory they share with others. We may look on it from a human's perspective and think it could be better, but i think from a cats perspective, particularly ones that have never known much else they would think it fairly perfect.
Like you say, most of all they are together. Some cats thrive alone, some even blossom when alone, others need other cats for company and confidence. I saw it with Freyja after Tiggy died, she definitely took a few steps backwards, now she is accepting Teddy as her lead, realising that although he is a big cat, and can be a bit like a lumbering elephant when he decides to play, he isn't aggressive, not even the passive aggressive that Saturn can show. He seems to understand that he needs to be gentle around her, where he came from it sounded like the unspayed queens could be a bit temperamental so he was rather wary of her at first, which perhaps helped. When it comes to Saturn he is a different cat, and will happily play chase, Saturn is realising that games of chase aren't quite as much fun when you are the one being chased.
As for the 'are they happy' question, i would say they are, but I look at it more from a cats point of view than a humans. Cats thrive on routine and familiarity. Coco and Chanel are both in a place they now know well. While they may not be friendly with the humans and animals they share the house with, they know them and know they are predictable. They have food and warm, safe places to sleep, where they know they will be left alone so don't need to sleep with one eye open for danger as much (all cats do this to some degree). From what you have said there is enough going on for them to be entertained when they are awake. They have their own room for their Den area, and a small outer territory they share with others. We may look on it from a human's perspective and think it could be better, but i think from a cats perspective, particularly ones that have never known much else they would think it fairly perfect.
Like you say, most of all they are together. Some cats thrive alone, some even blossom when alone, others need other cats for company and confidence. I saw it with Freyja after Tiggy died, she definitely took a few steps backwards, now she is accepting Teddy as her lead, realising that although he is a big cat, and can be a bit like a lumbering elephant when he decides to play, he isn't aggressive, not even the passive aggressive that Saturn can show. He seems to understand that he needs to be gentle around her, where he came from it sounded like the unspayed queens could be a bit temperamental so he was rather wary of her at first, which perhaps helped. When it comes to Saturn he is a different cat, and will happily play chase, Saturn is realising that games of chase aren't quite as much fun when you are the one being chased.
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Another little breakthrough yesterday, I went to sit with them earlier than normal while I was running a bath, and Coco was on the rocking chair, so I sat on the floor, she half lifted her head, looked at me, yawned, gave her paw a wash then settled back down. Had to leave after 10 mins to turn the bath off, I expected to go back in to find her gone, but she was still on the chair!
After 25 mins, she started to move, but she just turned to the other side, gave her other paw a wash and settled back down. I left after 40 mins of sitting on the floor! I was supposed to feed them, but didn't have the heart to move her, and Chanel was snoring! When I opened the door after my bath, I heard a thud of a cat jumping on the floor and neither were in sight.
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
I walked in this morning to this lovely sight - sadly Coco only stayed there for 5 mins, and was then a proper grumps when I swept and mopped the room!
- Mollycat
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Scrummy girls! Which is which?
- Ruth B
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Both still beautiful
There is something about Raggies that can't help but steal your heart.
There is something about Raggies that can't help but steal your heart.
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
It's Chanel on the left and Coco on the right. Coco is only short haired, but clearly has the long haired gene to have at least one long haired kitten
- Mollycat
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Re: Coco and Chanel dilemma
Ah now thy all have long-hair genes, what long-haired cats lack is the gene to tell the hair to stop growing.booktigger wrote: ↑Mon Oct 31, 2022 8:00 pm It's Chanel on the left and Coco on the right. Coco is only short haired, but clearly has the long haired gene to have at least one long haired kitten
Cat genetics is utterly amazing.