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Time for a new start...

Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 10:02 am
by Julie67
Hi,

I'd like some advice please. I lost my beautiful girl in May and the house isn't the same without the thunder of paws. I'd like a new bundle of hell and I definitely want a kitten. The thing is, I only really want one, but I work full time. My old girl was a sweetheart, and well adjusted, but my partner and I got her with her sister, as kittens, and they grew up together. When her sister died, Onion was fine and carried on as normal for many years, happy to snooze the day away and join me for company when I got home.
Now I live alone and feel that two kittens might be a bit of a handful, plus double expense. Has anyone in my situation raised a single kitten? I know two would probably be better as they would be company for each other while I'm at work, which is why I'm unsure what to do. Either way, I plan on taking a week off to help it/them settle in.

Thanks.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:13 pm
by fjm
How lovely to be planning for a new kitten/s! I live alone, and actually found two easier than one. They still bonded closely with me, but were much less demanding in terms of play and constant attention, and quickly learned to control all those little needles kittens like to try out on skin. There is the expense, but neutering two boys is much the same as one girl, and many vets now have arrangements enabling you to spread the costs of routine care like vaccinations by paying monthly over the year. When I raised a single kitten he was much happier when he got a baby sister. You are right about double handfuls though - I was redecorating the house when they arrived and got a lot of "help" - they particularly liked getting under the dust sheets on the floor and scooting around play fighting!

Adults are different, I think - many prefer to be only cats - but I would always think first of two kittens from the same litter these days, especially if you are out at work a lot.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 3:12 pm
by booktigger
When I was doing rescue work, I always advised a pair if you were out a lot, as they tend to bounce off each other then and not your furniture! And if you adopt one and they seem lonely, it will be harder to integrate a non-related kitten.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 8:51 pm
by Julie67
Thank you for your wise words. Two it is.

Oh boy, here I go again...

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2019 9:03 pm
by alanc
Seems I'm a bit late, as you have decided to go the two kitten route, but my first cat, Sally was an only kitten and I worked full time (still do) when she was growing up. She was quite happy on her own.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 5:12 am
by Mollycat
Back in the days when I had kittens they were single. We never thought of it as "getting a kitten" we always made a decision to "have a cat" because they aren't kittens for very long but they are a cat for many years. We did this 3 times and never had any problems with one single kitten.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:41 am
by Kay
many moons ago I had a single kitten, and she was on her own for more than 12 hours a day, as I had a long commute - and I always felt I couldn't go out again in the evening or for any length of time at the weekends and leave her alone again

and I did have safe access to the garden for her, so I think that helped - having a cat of any age shut indoors for so long on her own would bother me

and I must say that having two kittens is easier and more fun, as watching them play together - and fight!- provides lots of entertainment whilst you can do your own thing

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 5:30 pm
by Julie67
Well, deciding to have more cats in my life has brought unexpected sadness. I've coped well with the loss of my girl, I think I did most of my grieving before she died, but today I've cried a lot. I'm crying now. I guess it's the thought that I'm finally moving on, without her, like she's watching me walk away from our life together and she can't follow. I'm not usually an overly sentimental person, which has probably helped, but her loss has hit me all over again. It's normal, I suppose, yet another stage to go through.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 6:57 pm
by MooBag
Hi Julie,

I, and most of the people who post here will know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. Your lovely old puss will always be with you in your heart, they never fully leave us!

When I've had to say goodbye to a beloved cat (which I have done many times), the way I look at it, is I feel that adopting another cat is not only a great thing to do for them, but is also an act of 'tribute' to the cat you just lost. They had your love, care and comfort all the while they were on this earth, and I truly believe they would want another cat to be as lucky as they were. I know everyone copes with loss in different ways, but for me, if I have lost a cat, I feel it's almost my duty to adopt again!

Just remember, you will not be 'replacing' your lovely old cat, that would be impossible since all cats are individuals. All you would be doing by adopting again is affording another lucky cat the love and comfort that she had, and which another cat (or two) deserve just as much.

Good luck, and ((hugs)) to you!

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2019 8:07 pm
by Mollycat
Julie67 wrote:
Mon Aug 05, 2019 5:30 pm
Well, deciding to have more cats in my life has brought unexpected sadness. I've coped well with the loss of my girl, I think I did most of my grieving before she died, but today I've cried a lot. I'm crying now. I guess it's the thought that I'm finally moving on, without her, like she's watching me walk away from our life together and she can't follow. I'm not usually an overly sentimental person, which has probably helped, but her loss has hit me all over again. It's normal, I suppose, yet another stage to go through.
I don't think it matters much how long you leave it, inevitably a new feline companion will trigger more details to our grief. Of course it's normal, and hard. For me, 15 years and 5 more cats on from the felline love of my life, I still get those moments. I still feel her on my shoulder at times and call Molly Misha. Her age is still a kind of measure of age for a cat - younger than her is too young, older is a good age. Pawprints on our hearts are never erased. Enjoy your new kitten/s, loving them takes absolutely nothing away from your special girl, and they don't stay kittens long - and let your tears do their work in healing your heart.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:31 am
by Lilith
Hi, just want to say that, whatever you decide, all the best to you and your new companion/s. There is a happy home waiting for some lucky kitten/s and as Moobag says, it's a tribute to beautiful Onion, a fitting memorial to her and a loving one too.

I hope you have many happy years ahead together, lots of love and hugs, Lil x

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:27 am
by fjm
I too have shed tears for a cat no longer with me, reminded of bygone days by the antics of a new arrival, or just remembering the soft warm weight in my lap. But I do believe that there is no better tribute to the love we shared than finding another small friend in need of a home and a lap. Each one is unique and individual and we never replace them, but our hearts can expand to embrace another and all that we have learned helps us to make their lives full and happy.

It can be a bit of a shock, though, when you are used to the relaxed companionship of an elderly cat or dog, your lives fitting comfortably together after years of mutual accommodation, and you are once more suddenly facing babies with practically everything to learn and none of that joint history you have come to take for granted. Fun, exciting and delightful, but also demanding, exhausting and occasionally terrifying! I doubt there are many people who, a few days into life with a new kitten or puppy, have not had the occasional "What have I DONE!" moment. Then you bond, and all begin to adjust, and cannot imagine life without them. As you say, it is a new start, and a new journey - I am looking forward to sharing some of it with you here!

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:52 pm
by Julie67
My goodness, you're all so lovely, and so very wise.

I actually ordered a new cat tree the other day in preparation, then cancelled it today. I really don't know what to do. The thought of a single kitten is comforting, but for some reason, the thought of two is quite intimidating, maybe because I got used to my life with Onion, just me and her against the world, even though I've done it before with two kittens.
fjm, you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned relaxed companionship of an elderly cat or dog, that's exactly it I think.

It's two or none, and right now I just don't know. Thank you all for your warmth and support, hopefully I'll get my act together soon....

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:55 pm
by booktigger
There is another option, if you would feel more comfortable with one cat, look for one 4-6 months old.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:10 pm
by Julie67
booktigger wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:55 pm
There is another option, if you would feel more comfortable with one cat, look for one 4-6 months old.
That is an option I hadn't really thought of. I'll add it to my list of possibilities. Thank you.

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:59 pm
by MooBag
Well since you have started a list of possibilities... another option might be to go along to one of your local rehoming centres, and see who picks you! It's quite usual for that to happen, then you would put the outcome in the hands of fate - or, should that be in the 'paws' of fate. It might be one cat that chooses you, it might be a pair, it might be a youngster, or it might be a slightly older puss who is just looking for the 'relaxed companionship' that you identified with.

Or, before you go anywhere, how about checking out the cats in your area on the Cat Chat 'cats needing homes' section: https://www.catchat.org/adopt

I'm absolutely sure the right cat(s) is/are waiting for you!

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:40 pm
by alanc
What Moobag says is what happened to me after Sally died - I went to the Blue Cross looking for 1 cat and came back with 2!

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 9:31 pm
by Alice
Me too! I tried various local charities, looking for just one black cat, having had a white one which shed white fur very liberally on my mostly dark coloured trousers, and everything else. No black cats to be found and after some persuasion I ended up with a pair of long haired, light coloured Ragdolls! No regrets, they're lovely, but oh the fur!! :roll: :roll:

Re: Time for a new start...

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 8:41 am
by Polly
Julie,
You have to do what is best for both you and your cat.Like you, I too, lost my cat in May 2019, The grief have been really bad,
Good Luck to you Whatever you decide.