Cat Chat Feline Forum

Hi There
i have a cat who was feral when I found him and it has taken me 3 years to settle him here and to bond with him. For the last month or so he has been out for 24-36 hours at a time and not responded to my shouting for him. I have been worried sick and spent many nights wandering around the local streets trying to find him. At 1am this morning I shouted for him and saw a neighbour across the road surreptitiously opening her front door and out he popped. When I tried to get him to come into his home he just keeps going back over the road and sitting outside the other house. when I tried to gently pet him and nudge him in the right direction he attacked me and when I do get him in he is wide eyed and desperate to get back out after 5 minutes..it’s like he doesn’t recognise this as his home and I feel that all the work I put into domesticating him has been undone. He wouldn’t even be touched when I first got him and was terribly aggressive to the point even the vet was wary of him!
He has a microchip catflap so isn’t being locked outside and I’m not working so I’m in pretty much all day....I don’t want to come across badly to my new neighbours as I’ve not met her yet..
I’ve written a note explaining all of this but not sure whether I should put it through her door?
Any options /advice greatly appreciated

Hi Dweezil and welcome to the forum.

My thoughts, a lot like the answers to the original question. I do understand the sadness of losing a cat who just seems to like it better elsewhere and the frustrations of someone else feeding your cat, but the key point is your cat has a choice and this is what he is choosing. You took this cat in and gave him a home and your care when he was living wild but for whose benefit did you do it, yours for a companion or his for a better life? I'm guessing a bit of both? Which is more important, that he is happy or that he loves you? You did a lovely thing taking him in and giving him so much love, and as a result of that he is a confident sociable cat who feels he can make a decision like moving house - this is a great measure of how the tremendous work you've done. Sad as it is for you, it would also be sad for him to be forced to stay when he doesn't want to. This heartbreak is the price we pay for sharing our lives with the one animal who is domesticated by choice.

Just felt I had to add that there are loads of cats sitting in rescues who would love to share your home with you, so there are more than one happy ending chances

Hi guys...
Thanks for the responses. I did ask the neighbour not to take him in and feed him and he has been coming home since. Even running up the street when I get out of my car. It seems he isn’t so desperate to live elsewhere since she’s not fed him. He is curled up on the bottom of my bed just now. I think he was just being a chancer to get extra food which I guess you have to be when living wild.. of course I would never force him to live where he didn’t want to be so I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes ......

Lovely news, glad the neighbours are happy to cooperate with you.

I don't understand why these people don't get a cat of their own when there are so many in rescues longing for their own home