Cat Chat Feline Forum

We have a neutered 22wk male, and a spayed 16wk female. He's had the run of the house except for the second floor, which is her area. She's still a clumsy kitten with round belly; he's sleek and athletic. We've exposed them to each other's scent, and let them sniff under the door.

Today, when we let her through the doorway she wanted to explore, but he was waaay too rough. It doesn't seem to be territorial; rather he treats her like a toy! He was excited, but things got rougher until it was a snarling fight with her on her back. After separating them, she retreated to her territory.
When I leave the door slightly ajar, he madly waves his claws while she stays out of reach. (No more sniffing of noses.)

What to do? He seems to have forgotten how to play with other cats, and she may be too small to fight back and teach him to be gentler.
Maybe several of us could wear him out before a play date, but would he just get too rough again after he's rested?
Ideas?

Hiya,

Sorry to hear you've been having a bit of trouble with your kittens! Here's a link that may be useful for getting them used to each other:

https://www.catchat.org/index.php/new-cat-introductions

The best progress thus far, surprisingly, was when he (the larger kitten) came into her territory. This seemed to put her at ease, while he was tentative. Although play was mostly him chasing her, she had places to hide where he couldn't fit, and she repeatedly came out and jumped on/engaged with him. I'll try a longer play date today, again in her room.

Before that, I'd tried mutual play in his area; didn't help much. One or both would go for the toy, but also he'd pounce at her a lot. He didn't seem territorial (too young for that), but was rough.

Maybe not that surprising if we think of territory as being the places where a cat feels most confident, rather than ownership and defence of parts of the house, garden and beyond. So if she is in his comfort zone it's a bit like someone who talks right in our face and we don't like it, but when he goes to visit her he knows she is more sure of herself and he has to be a little bit humble. Whatever it it, great news.