Blatant plea for sympathy

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Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:09 am

As per title I haven't got anything to add and nobody died, I'm just feeling like groundhog year and sooo tired and just need a hug.

Long saga (3 years now) short having gained a dog, lost two jobs, lost Boo-cat expensively and stressfully, cured Mollycat very very expensively, plus a minor operation on the dog along the way leaving me more than a year's income (part time) in debt. Then during lockdown having my car taken off the road by a driver who left the scene, had to make a formal complaint to the police to even get the incident logged, another 3 months of my part time pay just to stay on the road, and now the council trying to recoup the cost of cleaning the road surface (one bag of sand dumped on it and left). So there is still a lot of this debt to pay off but hopefully we're the other side of it all.

Don't bet on it. Now the dog has gone lame and next week we will be paying out yet another more than one month's pay just for a hopefully diagnostic xray, and then we can see what the treatment options are etc. I said after we lost Boo I was financially, physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. A year on, here we go again. I quit smoking to pay for something for myself, now the dog is going to use up that money. Right now I am so tired and so fed up of these animals, although before that I had 30 years of hassle-free and no-cost cats. OH says we are plagued by bad luck but I say the opposite, if we hadn't been together neither of us would have been able to do any of this financially and quite possibly not emotionally either.

Just needed to say it out loud, this is going to be a rough week, hopefully will be better next Friday (a week tomorrow) after the dog has been checked out but for now thanks in advance for any sympathy and/or distractions or even a kick to stop me feeling so sorry for myself.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by fjm » Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:31 am

I hear you, and am sending cyber hugs. With four animals in the twilight years I have stopped totting up the vet bills, and just consider myself immensely fortunate that I don't have to choose between vet care and eating.

I hope the dog's problem proves to be treatable simply with rest and inexpensive pain relief; that Molly stays well and (comparatively) cuddly; that the insurance coughs up for the car and you have a protected no claims bonus; and that there are enough nice things in every day - even simply an opening flower and a singing bird - to tide you over a difficult week.

Meanwhile, here is another ((hug))>

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Ruth B » Thu Oct 08, 2020 12:34 pm

Sending all the virtual hugs I can. 2020 does seem to becoming a metaphor for when everything goes wrong, I've started hearing the phrase, 'Its all gone 2020 on me' I've even started using it myself. It seems like you are having it worse than most even.

At least you are making my problems seem small, I lost a filling a month ago, was meant to be at the dentist this morning, then one of the people my OH works with had a cold and has been sent for a Covid test, phoned the dentist and it has been postponed until nest month. Hopefully I can keep shoving temporary filling stuff into it to tide me over.

Freyja is due her boosters at the end of the month so I'm planning on how to get her into a basket, and Tiggy is due a follow up at the same time, when she had her jabs the vet found swelling in the abdomen, possibly a swollen colon, possibly something more serious. I thought 2 years ago I was going to lose her to a respiratory issue, but she kept plodding on, I have a feeling that this might be a similar case, something wrong, us not willing to have her put under, to be poked and prodded only to find it isn't something we would be happy trying to treat, and then her just carrying on as before for how ever long she has.

In addition all my Craft fairs have been cancelled for the year, I managed one in March just before we went into lockdown, but the rest have just slowly been cancelled one after the other, my enthusiasm for getting things done has waned and even if I did I have little space left to store anything. I keep saying i must get my online shop sorted, but somehow it just hasn't happened.

At least my husband is in work and the bills get paid.

Sorry to have ended up pouring all my woes out on your thread, I guess this year is hard on us all. We may not be able to do much to help, but at least we are all willing to listen and sometimes just saying it can help het it all off your chest. All paws and fingers crossed that your dog is ok and easily treated.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Sniper1 » Thu Oct 08, 2020 6:46 pm

I know just how you feel the struggle of life is endless this year has been so bad for so many reasons the problems here seem insurmountable urgent house repairs need doing but no funds work is intermittent bills pile up the expense of pets is mind boggling vets Rob you blind taking near a month's wage for one procedure never felt so low since I lost my partner to cancer 17 years ago, but honestly some days I just want to walk away not look back but the animals are happy and cheer you up looking for play and cuddles, mom is elderly has health problems and needs a lot of help to keep her independence so I Bury my despair somewhere deep inside and carry on but I fear it's coming to the surface far too often. One of my friends has lost everything and living in a homeless hostel so we have blessings to count but also good reason for our despair it is what it is as they say. I wish you all the best with your struggles and to everyone else with their own personal difficultys best wishes to you all

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Thu Oct 08, 2020 8:11 pm

I also sympathise. I've had a difficult couple of weeks, said this morning that it was one of those days where you'd like to go back to bed and put the quilt over your head to block everything out, only the bed broke last night :roll: then our hr manager sent out a mental health newsletter, I ticked most of the symptoms for depression! I read something recently about finding happiness in something small on a daily basis, like this one too xx
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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Thu Oct 08, 2020 9:49 pm

Oh crikey Ruth and teeth, I saw my dentist a week before lockdown and now I have two teeth that can't be saved that could have been and haven't even counted the course of dentistry in the bills. No, none of our problems are small, they are all real for us.

Fjm he's been on Metacam for 2 weeks and the day he went out in the rain, it was as if he wasn't on it. Fingers crossed though.

Sniper ... so sorry. Sounds like it's a really rough time on you and so close under the surface. Hang in there.

Booktigger I hope you'll forgive me for laughing a little at your broken bed but I de mean it kindly. Like the last straw thing.

And I guess we all hang out here because we're safe behind a screen and get to choose when we appear, ie when we're ok to put a brave face on it? Thank you guys for being real today. I managed to calculate 20 as 10% extra free on top of 2000 yesterday, and share with all my facebook friends - Remember Y2K when the world was supposed to end and didn't? Well here's 2020, Y2K with 10% extra free. It's not 10%. I already corrected that in my head from 20%, and I used to be good at maths once upon a time.

It's not my thread Ruth, maybe this is a good place for us all to share that none of us actually has that cushy life we can all imagine everyone but ourselves has. I feel a whole lot stronger for us sharing already. Thank you.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Fri Oct 09, 2020 5:56 am

Oh yes, dentistry. Been waiting since Mar for a tooth to be removed and lost two fillings since, but I honestly said they aren't causing pain so have to wait!

I think our online communities are crucial at the moment, another one I'm a member has like a good morning thread but people felt in the current climate that it was inappropriate to talk about mundane stuff but I'd say it's more crucial at the moment (and especially for people like me who live alone).

Glad sharing has helped you, they do say a problem shared is a problem halved. Also glad that my bed comment made you chuckle, that was my intention! Another thing my boss said in my one to one is that it's ok not to be ok x

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:39 am

Very important, it is ok not to be ok and especially to say so out loud.

I lived alone for about 8 years and worked from home alone too. It's only now I realise the damage I did to myself, no boundaries between work and rest, it was a challenging time with health, depression and losing important people, but from behind a screen you can hide all that from the world and pull out a smile and practice "I'm fine, life's great!" for the short time you have to. There were times when I didn't get out of my pyjamas for a week at a time, and going out became such a drama I was capable of going days on my "emergency" tinned condensed milk rather than face the shops.

Online communities are vital I agree and elderly people now should be the last generation to be completely lonely, those of us approaching the silver top years should be already set up with some kind of virtual human contact. But it doesn't replace real personal encounters and we have to be careful not to end up hiding severe withdrawal and depression like I managed to do for so long. We have to say we're not ok but more important we have to hear it, notice it and respond to it when we hear others say it.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Lynne Phillpot1963 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:53 am

Sending a virtual hug Mollycat.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Ruth B » Fri Oct 09, 2020 8:15 am

People who have never experienced depression think it is all wailing and moaning or staring at a wall, depression can be putting on a smile and going about your life, while falling apart inside, admitting it, letting it out and having people to turn to who understand is the first part of finding a way through. I won't say finding a cure, as that is much harder, and for some virtually impossible, but with help you can get through the dark days. When things are at their darkest then normal mundane things can help, and routine can get us through, just having to get up to feed the cat can be a life saver for some people.

My tooth isn't hurting, but the filling made up about a quarter of the crown of one of the big back teeth, so it has left me with a few sharp edges and of course my tongue insists that it has to check it out every few minutes, fortunately I got hold of some of the temporary filling material you can get over the counter and that is taking the worst of it away. I was meant to see the dentist back in March, and I was thinking the filling was moving a bit then so the plan was to talk about getting it crowned in the Summer, all that of course went to pot and I just hope he can sort it out in November. Its not helped by the fact that there is a new dentist at the practice and it was either see him or wait until the end of November to see my normal one. I'm terrified of going anyway, but I had built up a trust in my normal dentist, I hope that by being forced to see the new one means I can learn to trust them both instead of being limited to just seeing the one.

I'm sure the internet is the one thing that has kept a lot of people sane through out this. I'm a Roleplayer and the group used to get together weekly around the table to game. That stopped in March, before lockdown as one of the friends had to isolate as someone he knew had symptoms. In the Summer I started looking at online options and now we get together with cameras and microphones and spend an evening chatting and gaming, while we had been in contact through out it was great to be actually able to see and talk to them properly.

The group is myself, my OH, and a couple of friends both friends live by themselves and have been working from home. One has been absolutely loving it, he is the type that can manage his day and say no when someone asks for something at an unreasonable time. The other has been finding it a nightmare and when the company asked for people to volunteer to go in the office part time he offered to go back full time, as he is a fire marshal and first aider for the company they were happy to have him in. He is far happier now he is back in and his day has structure to it again. Everyone is different. I admit I found it easier when my OH is in the office than when he was only in half the time, getting up to see him off, then knowing what time he will be back gave form to the day that when we were both sat at home didn't happen as much.

The online gaming has also given me an incentive to do something I never thought i would, I kept coming across things that mentioned needing HTML,CSS or Javascript to do, so, at a couple of months of being 50 I have finally signed up to learn basic coding. My leather working may be on hold but at least I feel I'm not just wasting all my time sitting around doing nothing.

Sorry I ended up rambling again.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Fri Oct 09, 2020 11:32 am

I'll reply properly later, but please don't apologise for rambling, just as long as it helps x

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Fri Oct 09, 2020 4:48 pm

Agreed! and likewise

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Sniper1 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 6:53 pm

It's wonderful reading this thread thank you everyone the saying it's OK to not be OK is so true but it's so hard to know where to turn, I previously worked in psychiatric care and thought I had a good understanding of mental health but this past year has thrown me completely. Have come to an incredibly difficult realisation today life needs big changes before there's no way out of this hole so tomorrow we must start the heartbreaking task of parting with the dear furry friends before there isn't the funds to feed and care for them and no roof over any of our heads, they trust us to provide for them and that's just no longer sustainable. Then we need to look at selling up before we're forced and see how we can afford to live with what we've got left the plans we had for doing the place up are never going to happen in the Forse able future now holding out would be prolonging the difficulties. If Anyone knows of any good genuine rescues in the Midlands PLEASE PLEASE post. We also have 3 elderly terrier dogs. God bless you all

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Fri Oct 09, 2020 7:36 pm

I'm so sorry to read that, I genuinely hope you find a way through what sounds a terrible choice

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Fri Oct 09, 2020 8:05 pm

Oh gosh Sniper, don't be too hasty on rehoming furries, if I read you right and you will be looking for rental, you could be lucky and be able to keep them all. I wouldn't fancy any furry's chances at the moment, on the other hand once eviction stays are lifted there could be a lot of landlords prepared to compromise. Or not. I honestly don't know. But you could be ok. Could they be lodged temporarily with friends or relatives if it comes to it?

I'm a trained and qualified counsellor therapist and no it doesn't help when it's yourself struggling. All the theory and technique in the world seem to go out of the window. I for one feel quite shocked that you have been keeping such a big thing away from us, which seems daft now I say it out loud, I'm sure you must have friends you talk to?

Ruth, yes, don't ever be sorry for waffling, it's good to pour it out and the more you share the more we can understand and respond helpfully, hopefully. The way I put it is when the poop hits the fan, sometimes you just need to know the world is still turning. Just when you're screaming for it to stop and let you get off, knowing it's still turning can be the only anchor we have, gravity. You and I are within a few months, I am due to embark upon my 50s in March and 5 weeks later my OH leaves his, so we are getting married in that short window when we will both be in the same decade. The thing I quit smoking to pay for was a dress. I don't mind, at our age and the way we both think alike the less fuss and expense the better, nobody cares about dresses. We're not even having photos, flowers or even metal rings.

Years ago when I first left school I shared a house with 2 other friends from school when we started working. Because we were the first of our group of friends to have our own place, our house was the D&D rendez-vous for several years, even though we were the least into it. A great escape and whatever you actually play it's so good to escape reality for a while and it sounds ideally suited to online get-togethers.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Sniper1 » Fri Oct 09, 2020 9:13 pm

Hi mollycat and booktigger thanks for your comments yes rental will be the option but a room in a shared house is probably the direction will be looking things really will be that tight even if a very small cheap flat we're possible the funds for animal care just will not be there. Having been very involved in rescue for many many years but not recently it's the dogs I feel for most having seen many times how a dogs heart can be broken loosing it's owner and home the cats as loving and devoted as some of them are I know will find it easier if someone will give them a chance let's just pray. Friends are a big support but non are without their own considerable difficulties and fears at the moment so I guess I hold back some of the absolute despair often just to keep going

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Ruth B » Sat Oct 10, 2020 7:49 am

I really feel for you Sniper, that must be one of the hardest decisions to make, and not one you have come to easily. If you are anywhere near Wolverhampton or Walsall two rescues to check out are The ARC-The Ashmore Rescue for Cats, and Tracy's Cats Kitty Rescue. The ARC is where Saturn and Freyja came from, Sally pretty much runs it single handed, with just a few trusted people to help out with home checks and fostering. It obviously isn't one of the big rescues but she loves every cat in her care and tries so hard to save as many as she can, unfortunately that means she normally has a waiting list of ones needing to come in to rescue, but it would be worth getting on that list and she might be able to help with a direct homing so the cats never have to go into shelter. The other issue I will mention is that her Father died a few weeks ago and his funeral is on Tuesday, so getting hold of her over the next few days could be harder than normal. The Facebook page for The ARC is
https://www.facebook.com/The-ARC-the-as ... 825673191/

Tracy's Cats Kitty Rescue is one i've no direct experience of, but after my Mother died I was looking for some charities to donate some of the money from the estate to and I found this one. I followed them (and others) for a while and decided that this one seem like it was another that really cared for the cats in their care, I've carried on following and I'm still of the same opinion and willing to donate what I can to help them. I haven't got much to spare these days so its even more important that every penny is spent in the way I want it to be, caring for the cats (I'm rather cynical about some of the bigger charities and just what percentage of donations actually goes to the cause). Tracy's Facebook page is
https://www.facebook.com/tracycatskitty/

Mollycat, I beat you by a couple of months, my birthday is January 2nd, gets everything over and done with quickly, Christmas, New Year, Birthday, that is it for another year, we even tend to take the decorations down on New years day ready for the cards to go up. One of our first cats got diabetes at a time when treatment wasn't a good as it is now, and with the hours we work trying to time the insulin and food was nigh on impossible, I couldn't face knowing if I missed a bus home I could find a dead cat, so we decided to just give her as long as she had. She managed 9 months, which was more than expected, A couple of weeks before Christmas I took a photo of her sat on the sideboard, by the Christmas tree, looking bright and happy as if nothing was wrong, the advent calendars in the background tell me it was about the 11th December. She had Christmas, New Year and my Birthday with us and then on the third she started to go downhill rapidly, the morning of the 4th she went to the vets for the last time. It took a photo of her that morning, hunched up on one of the dining chairs, comparing the two photos you would hardly believe it was the same cat. I always feel she picked up the idea that everything was over and she could go then.

We were actually playing D&D last night, its one just one game among many we play. it may have a nerdish reputation but in the end its a chance to get together with friends, chat, and make and solve puzzles which helps keep the mind active. I'm also a computer gamer so that is another group of friends I have to chat with and something else that people are starting to realise isn't just for violent geeks, but does actually have health benefits helping maintain hand and eye coordination and mental ability. The game I'm playing at the moment is a rerelease of one that had it heyday 15 years ago, the average age of the gamers seems to be about 40, we all joke that in 20 years time retirement homes are going to be full of people still playing the games and instead of organising sing a longs and the like, the carers will be organising player verses player battles with the home down the road.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:24 am

The past few years I've got back into hidden object, match 3 and word games on tablet/phone and I find it helps relaxing before bed

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:45 am

Mollycat wrote:
Thu Oct 08, 2020 11:09 am
I said after we lost Boo I was financially, physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. A year on, here we go again. I quit smoking to pay for something for myself, now the dog is going to use up that money. Right now I am so tired and so fed up of these animals, although before that I had 30 years of hassle-free and no-cost cats.
Hi Mollycat. I read your thread with a heavy heart because you see, I have been in the same position. Like you, we had many years of hassle free pets, the only visit to the Vet being neutering (the pets, not the Vet!) I remember posting a desperate message on this site some time ago as we too were 'emotionally financially and mentally exhausted' with dear Gandhi. Never having a complete night's sleep in 10 yrs, constantly medicating, cleaning up 'mess' at 5.30 a.m. etc. I remember once just collapsing and saying to my hubby that I simply couldn't go on. I'd lost 3 cats in 3yrs, was ill, tied to the house, every plan for freedom thwarted, but we adored Gandhi, he was a very special cat and as we took on his life, we took on his death. Christopher Brodie was somehow 'forced' on us, he was lovely, a comfort but not the answer. And now there is just the two of us,(be careful what you wish for?) at 72 and 73 yrs old respectively, reminded of our own mortality, as Covid, we live in Scotland, has robbed us of a normal life, the every day distractions, the reasons for getting up every morning, that cushion old age. Perhaps I shouldn't say this, but you have always been honest with me, I left CC for a while as I was utterly dismayed when someone likened the death of a cat to the loss of a child, it so distressed me. Believe me, having suffered both, the grief, and it is very very real, of losing a pet, is as nothing compared to the agony of losing your child and later a grandchild. But it taught me that you can pass 6 people in the street and 4 of them will be carrying a heavy burden. The other day, I looked at photos of me taken in Majorca, as a young lass in the 1980's, I (we) looked so happy and now sitting here a 'prisoner' I wonder where she went? Oh gosh this sounds so depressing, self pitying but it's not meant to be. I just want so much to envelop you in virtual hugs dear friend and tell you that no matter how bad things are just now, how exhausted, how much you long for peace in your heart, just hang on in there, it will all pass. As the saying goes, You want to give God a right good laugh? Make plans for the future! Head up, deep breath, one step at a time honey.

Issi

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:57 pm

Thank you Issi whereabouts in Scotland are you? I am a rare but enthusiastic visitor up the West coast, Fife, and Peterhead either via the coast road, Ness or most often the Cairngorms. My late Dad owns one square foot of Islay, courtesy of a clever Laphroaig promotion just after he died. His rent of one dram per year is paid into the sea to join with his ashes ... the cleverest marketing I have ever seen and the lady who thought of it worth her weight in gold to the distillery.

Boo was an exceptional cat, I just didn't realise it fully at the time. He was quiet, calm, gentle, unassuming. He helped Molly settle, soothed her nerves, showed her that the world wasn't really that scary, and even protectively supervised my early sessions making friends with her. When the dog came, Boo helped him make progress with his fear of fireworks. I saw how much he had helped the dog once he was gone. Maybe because Molly is such a demanding high maintenance highly strung traumatised thing, I didn't pay so much attention to the details of Boo while he was here. Molly is still learning to be calm without him, I feel. She took a clump of his fur to keep, did I ever mention that? The rest is going out for the birds, bit by bit, I still have a large bag of brushings.

Yes I'm with you on sometimes wondering where the old me went. But mostly I wouldn't want to be back there.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:28 am

Left the dog at the vets 2 hours ago. He always pulled towards the door to go in for 3 years, but after the first time he was taken in leaving us in the car park, it's a different story. Second time he pulled me towards the gate and off up the road. Third time - today - he started to shake and cry as soon as we turned in to the road where the vet is, away from the route to one of his favourite walking places. So much for them being calmer without the owner, that's not the case here. He went in with tail between his legs and back end so low you couldn't slip a cigarette paper under him. He stayed in the car the whole time I did the paperwork with the nurse. For me, this is the one restriction I am desperate to have lifted.

Back home, just Molly and me, and one of us is fast asleep in her favourite chair and I don't think it's me. Part of me thinks I should take the opportunity to go into work early. I would really rather spend a couple of hours cuddling my cat on the bed without a dog huffing on the other side of me, but that all depends on Lady Grey's wishes.

This is Molly's favourite game, I call it Whack-a-Molly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPQfvCANkF4 The object is, I have to whack her on the head with the toy and she has to try and catch it and bite it before I can whack her with it. She loves getting whacked hard and she loves the game, if I pick up the toy she comes running.

Incidentally this was the fattest she got, nearly 6kg. You can see why I was in despair over her weight! A month after this was posted she started on her reduced calorie diet and she was on that for 19 months until she suddenly got very ill and we found her hyperthyroidism.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by fjm » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:19 am

I hope the results from the dog's tests are good news - or at least goodish. Poor Poppy is even less keen on the vets than she used to be, after two 12 hour stays on a drip back in January, and lots of blood tests and other unpleasantnesses since. I have found housework sort of works as a distraction on these occasions - I rarely do much, and there is something therapeutic about swiping at cobwebs and cleaning out corners.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:35 am

fjm wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:19 am
I hope the results from the dog's tests are good news - or at least goodish. Poor Poppy is even less keen on the vets than she used to be, after two 12 hour stays on a drip back in January, and lots of blood tests and other unpleasantnesses since. I have found housework sort of works as a distraction on these occasions - I rarely do much, and there is something therapeutic about swiping at cobwebs and cleaning out corners.
Unfortunately there isn't really a good news option, just a case of knowing which bad option we're dealing with. Vet can feel issues with both knees and says we may need to operate, we just can't see a 10 year old very active dog being crated and carried downstairs to toilet for 6 weeks being viable. The pain is in one hip, metacam takes it away but not enough to stand still with weight on it, even thought there is no trace of limp in his gait at any pace. It's worse when it gets wet and cold, suggesting wear and tear arthritis, manageable but progressive and already more than metacam can cover. What I have learned is that no matter how much pain you take away, he will always push himself back to the same level of pain, which is comfortable for him and uncomfortable for us. So we maybe need to man up. We're not happy with the idea of restricting him, he plays ball and runs as normal but gives up digging after just a few seconds so clearly he limits himself as needed.

I would say I'm not the worrying kind, I am very calm and rational, but then I remember when Molly was in hospital and I shut myself up.

So what teddy did he take to the vets with him today? His squeaky plush burger. Well he didn't have any breakfast!

I'm a cleaner professionally so housework which has never been my strong point is now just a busman's holiday!

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fjm
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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by fjm » Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:33 am

I feel for you - it is hard to see them slowing down and avoiding activities they used to love, even when the overall quality of life is still good. Poppy's limit is now 1.5 miles of level, easy walking, and even then we go pretty slowly. Fortunately she can manage a couple of shorter walks as well, so we can do just enough each day to keep Sophy sane, even if it is not the 5+ mile cross country hikes she would really like!

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Thu Oct 15, 2020 2:16 pm

I know you don't like the idea of the recovery period, but I would strongly suggest it, while it will be hard, 6 weeks isn't much compared to the potential for pain free years, and lessens the risks of side effects from long term metacam use, plus doing it at 10 is a lot safer anaesthetic wise. I do sympathise, my vet wasnt honest when Lucy had her hip joint removed, she ended up with 9 weeks of restrictions, then she got hospitalised for 5 days with hyper calcaemia, so came back with muscle loss, which isn't as easy to deal with in cats. Sometimes you have to have tough love

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Thu Oct 15, 2020 3:34 pm

He's 17 kg and a wriggler, 2 flights of stairs down and up several times daily, I'm not only wondering if HE can cope. We wouldn't be able to go anywhere for the time of the crate as neither my pensioner mother nor my trusted stick insect neighbour would be able to carry him. Then there's lead rest time on top, and most of all as the pain is definitely in his hip I should hate all that to be for nothing!

Anyway, hoping for management news not surgery, off now for the Moment of Truth.


6.30pm we are just back (via a fried chicken stop, well the vet did say chicken tonight ...........) the specialist will be taking a look at the xrays but there is no cancer, no sign of arthritis, cruciate ligaments seem to have wear but nothing fully torn. So the culprit looks like the medial meniscus, which can heal on its own with exercise management or can need keyhole or open surgery, we will have a better idea in a week. Some good news but not all possible bad news can be counted out just yet.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Ruth B » Fri Oct 16, 2020 7:25 am

At least some bad news has been ruled out, we'll be keeping all fingers and paws crossed that it can be cured by controlled exercise and time.

I too sometimes look back and wonder what happened to the old me, but I wouldn't want to be back there again really. Comfort and contentment are very underrated, so many people keep saying 'you need to get out of your comfort zone' or go on about 'ambitions and targets, and having to better yourself', I always wonder what is wrong with being content with what you have. Although I will admit, given the chance, i would have the body I had 30 years ago back, slightly better eyesight, far less in the way of aches and pains in the joints.

In the end, I've a roof over my head, food in the cupboards, no major debts, and a husband and three cats that love me, we may not have been on holiday since our honeymoon, but that is more a choice than being forced on us, and neither of us suffers any real vices except coffee and chocolate. Things could be far worse.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by booktigger » Fri Oct 16, 2020 7:36 am

Glad the x Ray's were more positive, and fingers crossed it can heal itself without surgery.

I agree Ruth, as a single woman who doesn't want kids, I get a lot of 'well, wait till you meet the right bloke', not sure why that would change my mind! Or 'how do you expect to find a bloke if you dont go to the pub', I'm actually quite content and apart from the husband, similar to your last paragraph, things could be worse

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by Mollycat » Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:59 am

Husbands are full of pros and cons, I had good years alone and good years with others. I believe the key is being happy either way, seeing the benefits of both partnership and solitude. Nothing on earth would have convinced me that children were a good idea for me though.

For the next week I will focus on normality with only digging ruled out, and cross the problem bridge when we get there. What's really horrible is that the dog who has always trotted in fine at the vets is now terrified and tries to bolt for the street or back to the car, and all because he gets handed over in the car park instead of being able to sit on our laps in the waiting room with a teddy in his mouth. That's really disappointing.

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Re: Blatant plea for sympathy

Post by fjm » Fri Oct 16, 2020 11:13 am

Sounds good news on the whole - I've been nursing what was probably a torn meniscus for the last 12 months or so. Having thoroughly wrecked the knee by pushing on with long walks etc I eventually saw a physio, started ice, rest and targeted exercise, and saw a lot of improvement over the next few months. I should of course have kept up the exercises, as it is now beginning to twinge again, but with luck the conservative approach will be enough to get your boy comfortable again.

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