In a pickle over Christmas

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Bertie 2017
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Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:24 pm
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In a pickle over Christmas

Post by Bertie 2017 » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:17 am

Hi ,this Christmas is my second one without my dear Bertie ,after last Christmas ,I thought
This one would be more merrier ,but sadly I am a right pickle ,I would like too have a tree
And decorations up ,I have even bought a new artificial tree ,still in box ,I associate Christmas ,of being with the ones you love ,so how can I be merry without Bertie ?.
I am sure you have heard ,not all Christmas songs are cheerful ,some even mentioned ,
Be lonely ,of without they love ones ,these are the songs ,that upset me ,I really thought
I could do this ,my friend even made me a heart shaped decoration with Bertie’s name on,
With angel wings on top ,for my tree , I know we don’t grieve forever ,but I feel ,my grief
Is making it difficult ,for me too do this ,I really thought I was coping well with it all .
After all ,my pain isn’t as raw ,as it used to be ,and I have reached his 1st anniversary .
Back on November the 25 th ,the last mile stone ,I don’t what a Christmas present .the
,the one thing ,I what can never have ,my Bertie ,so please can anyone advise me ,
As too what too do ,? I know only.i can make this decision ,but your views will really
Help me , thank you. X

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Jules20
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Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2018 2:59 pm
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Re: In a pickle over Christmas

Post by Jules20 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 11:08 am

Hi Bertie

I just wanted to say sorry that you are still feeling this way. I know what you mean about Christmas though as it can be a very difficult time for a lot of people. It has only been three and a half weeks since I lost my Merlin which is very early days I know but I have not moved forward at all with my grief and am also not looking forward to Christmas. I bought a new tree last year, a lovely tall pop up one which my Merlin decided to pull over and I found it on the floor one morning (which gave us a good laugh). I am not bothered about the tree going up this year but my husband said we should put it up anyway even though we know it won't be the same and we will just have to muddle through christmas as best we can. My husband wasn't as attached to Merlin as me as he works a lot so my grief is very different from his. I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we have to find a reason to do something for someone else even if we can't find it for ourselves. I think I see from your posts that you have another cat so if so then maybe that can be the reason that you put the tree up? Of course it won't be the same without your Bertie there and won't be the merry Christmas that we would all dream of. We have to accept the harsh reality of that but perhaps we can find small moments of joy despite the pain that we feel and these feelings can co-exist alongside each other.

Julia x

issiandarchie+68
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Re: In a pickle over Christmas

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 3:57 pm

Bertie 2017 wrote:Hi ,this Christmas is my second one without my dear Bertie ,after last Christmas ,I thought
This one would be more merrier ,but sadly I am a right pickle ,I would like too have a tree
And decorations up ,I have even bought a new artificial tree ,still in box ,I associate Christmas ,of being with the ones you love ,so how can I be merry without Bertie ?.
I am sure you have heard ,not all Christmas songs are cheerful ,some even mentioned ,
Be lonely ,of without they love ones ,these are the songs ,that upset me ,I really thought
I could do this ,my friend even made me a heart shaped decoration with Bertie’s name on,
With angel wings on top ,for my tree , I know we don’t grieve forever ,but I feel ,my grief
Is making it difficult ,for me too do this ,I really thought I was coping well with it all .
After all ,my pain isn’t as raw ,as it used to be ,and I have reached his 1st anniversary .
Back on November the 25 th ,the last mile stone ,I don’t what a Christmas present .the
,the one thing ,I what can never have ,my Bertie ,so please can anyone advise me ,
As too what too do ,? I know only.i can make this decision ,but your views will really
Help me , thank you. X
Hi Bertie. Christmas..it's only in adverts that everyone is merry and bright,with a table groaning with obscene amounts of food, trees and decorations straight out of Good Housekeeping magazine. The awful reality is, nobody goes through life without feeling the pain of loss, Christmas day being a stark reminder. But it is only one day, a time to remember good times, give thanks, raise a glass to absent loved ones. Bertie has gone but not every thought or silly Christmas song has to be a sad reminder of his passing, there must have been some good times. Sorry to have to say this, but I too don't want any Christmas presents. I want my daughter and granddaughter, both deceased, my pets lost over the years, especially Cody and Armand, but it ain't going to happen. Yes I will feel sad on Christmas day, probably shed a quiet tear, as will many others on this forum but I will also be grateful for being granted another day with my loved ones and beloved Gandhi cat. Bertie my dear, you are constantly over thinking things. Put up a tree or don't put up a tree, do whatever makes you feel comfortable but don't fret about it. Remember the good times with Bertie, honour his memory, but do try and concentrate on making the day as contented as possible for you, your remaining cat and loved ones. Remember, today's actions are tomorrow's memories.

Issi

Bertie 2017
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Re: In a pickle over Christmas

Post by Bertie 2017 » Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:15 am

Hi thanks for your kind words and support ,and so sorry too hear about your daughter and
Granddaughter ,I know it must ,have been so painful for you ,I decided too put my Xmas tree
And decorations up ,I feel my home has been ,without joy ,and laughter ,for so long ,my
Friend ,made me a wooden white heart shaped ,with angel wings on ,it also has Bertie’s .
Name on ,it’s on the top of the tree ,I recall so fondly ,how Bertie got stuck ,inside the Xmas tree ,one year oh boy did I laugh ,so putting it on the top was perfect ,I passed my driving test ,two days ago ,and it taught me ,that ,they is still joy and happiness ,in the world .
You just have ,too let it in ,I have held it back for too long ,every one moves on ,in they
Own time ,I feel now is the right time ,because Bertie loved Christmas ,and I have so many happy times and memories ,of Bertie ,that I know ,it will bring me joy and comfort ,for the rest of my life ,and these memories ,are more special ,than any other Christmas gift ,I can
Be given ,their priceless too me ,so yes ,I have made a huge leap forward
Xx

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Julie67
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Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:03 am

Re: In a pickle over Christmas

Post by Julie67 » Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:32 am

Bertie 2017 wrote:
Fri Dec 07, 2018 12:15 am
Hi thanks for your kind words and support ,and so sorry too hear about your daughter and
Granddaughter ,I know it must ,have been so painful for you ,I decided too put my Xmas tree
And decorations up ,I feel my home has been ,without joy ,and laughter ,for so long ,my
Friend ,made me a wooden white heart shaped ,with angel wings on ,it also has Bertie’s .
Name on ,it’s on the top of the tree ,I recall so fondly ,how Bertie got stuck ,inside the Xmas tree ,one year oh boy did I laugh ,so putting it on the top was perfect ,I passed my driving test ,two days ago ,and it taught me ,that ,they is still joy and happiness ,in the world .
You just have ,too let it in ,I have held it back for too long ,every one moves on ,in they
Own time ,I feel now is the right time ,because Bertie loved Christmas ,and I have so many happy times and memories ,of Bertie ,that I know ,it will bring me joy and comfort ,for the rest of my life ,and these memories ,are more special ,than any other Christmas gift ,I can
Be given ,their priceless too me ,so yes ,I have made a huge leap forward
Xx
I'm so glad you've decided to let Christmas into your life this year, it gives me hope for the future when my girl is no longer with me. Thank you, and well done for passing your driving test.

Jules. xxx

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