Maybe it’s time ,

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Bertie 2017
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Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Bertie 2017 » Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:29 pm

Hi everyone ,for all those who knows Bertie’s story ,understands how much he ment too me
But ,Bertie had a favourite spot on top of my wardrobe ,he even had a bed up there ,
He loved it ,anyway back to my problem ,you see Bertie’s brother and litter mate ,Basil
Has started use his brothers favourite spot ,shortly after Bertie went ,I spotted basil
Up there ,and found it too painful ,so I gently lifted him down ,but now ,I can’t help
Thinking ,should I let basil have ,the spot on the wardrobe ? . I feel letting him have it
Is like losing a big piece of Bertie , but then I keep telling myself ,I am being silly .
Because it’s just a bed ,and who knows ,maybe Bertie would what ,his brother too have it ,?
And get as much ,enjoyment and pleasure out of it ,as he did , it’s a hard one because ,
Seeing basil up there ,is like a end of a era , but one thing grief has taught me ,is life
Gos on , and time changes a lot of things ,I have a photo of Bertie up there ,and on
One of the wardrobe doors ,is a plague with Bertie’s name on ,

So maybe it’s time ,

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Lilith
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Lilith » Tue Feb 05, 2019 12:05 pm

Yes, when my Emily died in August, her fellow ginger Molly seemed to spread into her usual sleeping place on the bed (although she's never occupied Emmy's special cuddling place, tucked in by my right side; Moll always settles down by my left, trampling on all the litter of books, pillows, tissue box and what-have-you.) I've joked before that Emily has 'willed' her bed-space to Molly and indeed when a cat leaves, the others do fill its place.

Once I had a fierce little black cat, Sulah, who was run over. For months afterwards her daughter Katie (I was very ignorant in those days; I let Sulah have kittens) would trot into the dining room, pause, and jump over an invisible somebody sitting on the hearthrug. Sulah was still occupying her space :)

I think Bertie has willed his space to Basil :)

Bertie 2017
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Bertie 2017 » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:04 am

Hi thanks for your message ,yes I believe Bertie has ,left. His favourite spot ,too Basil ,
I am starting to ,accept and get used too ,of course ,I did cry at first ,but the way I see it
Now ,is that it’s not a cold and empty space ,anymore ,I d like too believe ,Bertie is up
There ,with him, cuddling up .with basil ,just like they did as kittens ,and who knows .
Maybe basil , gets a lot of comfort ,from ,it Sort of feeling closer to his brother ,
And who knows ,maybe basil does miss him , and like humans ,gets joy and comfort
From it , and why shouldn’t he ? .animals have and feel the same emotions as us
Humans ,sorry too hear about your loss
Xx

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Jules20
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Jules20 » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:47 am

There are a couple of cats that come into my garden, I always used to shoo them away when Merlin was here as I didn't want them getting into a fight. There is a black and white one that I hadn't seen since before I lost Merlin but the other day I'm looking out my kitchen window and see him walking up my garden path towards my decking. I have a table on the decking with 3 garden chairs, 1 was Merlin's chair complete with cushion for him lol. As I look to see where this cat has gone, I see he has found Merlin's chair and has made himself very comfortable on it. I was very sad as I knew my Merlin would never sit on that chair again and the tears came.

I was in such a state that I called my husband and said I didn't know whether to shoo him off like I used to or let him stay there or should I get rid of the chair so no other cat can sit on it. My husband said that whether I shoo him off or not Merlin won't sit on that chair again so why not let another cat enjoy it and so I left him there and that cat enjoyed that chair all afternoon!

You are right Bertie about having to accept and get used to. I realised that day that it was another change I will have to adjust to and if another cat is sitting on that chair it means I have to accept that my Merlin is not coming back. It is tough!

That cat came back a couple of days later and curled up on that chair again and I have no doubt that as the weather gets warmer he will be back. These cats do have a habit of finding the good spots lol!

Much love Julia x

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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Bertie 2017 » Sat Feb 09, 2019 4:14 am

Hi jules ,yes cats are masters ,at finding the best spots ,lol as for Bertie’s favourite spot ,
I have too accept ,that things change ,and life goes on ,and what is important ,that my
Living cat basil ,is happy and contented ,I have learned that keeping Bertie’s bed empty
Isn’t going too bring him back ,and seeing basil up there, brings me a sense of joy ,and
The pain of not seeing Bertie there ,has eased since basil moved in ,lol yes I understand
From your point of view,,about the chair ,in the garden ,not seeing merlin there is hard ,
You could try ,putting a second cover over it ,like I did with Bertie’s bed ,I used a old
Dressing gown , too cover and protect ,the bed underneath ,I am sure you will understand
Why I did it ? ,it’s keeping ,Bertie’s memories alive ,and preserve , the bed ,and since
Then ,I have decided too let basil ,have it ,(not that he has left me any choice lol )
I recall ,in the months following Bertie’s ,passing .basil was trying to get up there,
But as I have said ,in my post ,I kept lifting him down ,because it was far too much and
Painful , as for Bertie’s blessing ,basil will have too see ,him about it ,when he will
Cross the rainbow bridge ,and lord him help him ,if Bertie isn’t happy about it ,lol
Bertie was the boss cat , and he could make basils life hell ,if he whated too xx

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Jules20
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Jules20 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:13 pm

Aww Bertie I'm glad Basil is enjoying the spot now, I'm sure Bertie has given his blessing lol. My Merlin was very territorial and would've chased another cat out of his chair but I believe it's different when they cross over and they wouldn't mind at all now. It's just us that feels like we have to protect their spaces and as you say preserve their memories as that is what we have left of them. x

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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Bertie 2017 » Thu Feb 14, 2019 7:56 pm

Hi jules, good too hear from you again ,yes basil loves his new bed ,spends a lot of time
Up there ,only comes down ,at feeding time ,typical cat lol ,in fact , I haven’t spotted him
By the radiator ,for a while he’s usually glued to the thing lol ,I find seeing basil up there
In a kind of healing way ,one thing I have learned is ,life goes on ,and time changes things.
And plus seeing the bed ,occupied ,gives me a warm glow in my heart ,Bertie got a lot
Of joy and pleasure from it ,so now it’s basils turn ,I have started noticing that basil
Is going up too Bertie’s casket ,his ashes and in it ,Basil will sniff and paw it ,I am sure
Basil remembers ,his brother ,,I recall the day I brought Bertie’s ashes home ,put them
On the bookcase ,Basil wouldn’t enter the room ,for a while ,as you know it’s Valentine’s Day
So I went on Moonpig ,and made a photo card ,of my boys ,Bertie is still a big part of
Every day life ,here and always will be ,his death doesn’t ,change anything ,he’s gone
But his sprit and memories live on ,and he will always be there in my heart ,
Forever ,

Take care XX

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Jules20
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Jules20 » Fri Feb 15, 2019 10:43 am

Good to hear from you too Bertie. Aww the Valentines card is such a nice idea.
Yes the memories do live on and Merlin will always be in my heart too. It is still early days for me (3 months) and it is a constant struggle to try and live without him but you give me hope Bertie that one day I will be able to look back on the good memories with a smile rather than so many tears.

Julia x

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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Bertie 2017 » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:45 am

Hi jules ,good too hear from you ,yes it is early days ,it’s been well over a year ,since
I last held ,Bertie ,I’d be laying if ,I said ,I didn’t get my bad days ,still but that’s all
There are ,of course the longing to hold them and see them ,never ever gos away ,it just
Gets ,less painful ,and not having them around ,becomes part of everyday life ,of course
You ,never ever forget them ,I am making sure ,that doesn’t happen ,Bertie is just as much
Loved and cherished ,now then he was alive ,and is very much part of the family ,still
That will never change ,he is included ,in every anniversary ,I still along with basil ,
Celebrate his birthday ,he will be nine this year ,on a birthday you celebrate someone’s
Birth ,not they death ,my family always sees it this way ,we take cards too ,loved ones
Grave , so why should it be different ,with our pets ? .i am doing everything I can ,too
Keep Bertie and his memories alive ,your cats are never truly gone ,they live on ,in
Our memories ,and visit us ,in our dreams ,yes I truly believe ,they do ,I often dream
Of Bertie ,playing in the garden ,chasing the leaves ,alongside basil his brother ,while
I sit watching ,just like old times ,I always awake with a smile ,not tears. Like I used to
Hugs and kisses to you. Xx

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Jules20
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Re: Maybe it’s time ,

Post by Jules20 » Wed Feb 20, 2019 6:02 pm

We will always remember them Bertie and yes there will still be bad days, I don't think grief ever goes away completely.

So glad there are some good days for you now though.

Hugs and kisses to you and Basil xxx

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