I didn’t get to say goodbye

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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I didn’t get to say goodbye

Post by Percy2 »

My cat, who was arguably my best friend since I was 5, passed away some time over the weekend. He was sick on Saturday night, and then that was the last time I saw him. Until this morning when my neighbours knocked and said he was in their garden. I got a bit excited thinking he’d been found, but then to be told he was dead, my heart broke. I cant stop thinking about him being in pain and I didn’t know, how long he’d been there for, when did he die, why did he go off. But more so, I’m a bit angry that he’s gone and I’ll never see him again, and that I didn’t get to say goodbye, or even just a last pet on the head. He was 15, and I know he’d had a happy and long life, it hurts to think of him lying there and nobody knew where he was.
Saturday night, he’d pooed in the shower, was sick in the living room, and in the kitchen and Sunday morning we went to buy worming tablets for him since we thought it was that. Everyone was a bit angry at him for his Saturday night antics. I even took him out of my bedroom incase he was sick there, and now I feel really mean because if I hadn’t have done that, he might still be here. The weather has been awful over the weekend, windy, wet and cold, especially at night, and although he normally goes out at night with no fuss, i feel he shouldn’t have gone out on Saturday night. I had a gut feeling he was gone yesterday, but I’d had him since I could remember, I refused to believe it, so much so I prayed for him last night to return home, safe and sound, but I got the complete opposite.
Apologies for the vent, just needed to get it off my chest :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: I didn’t get to say goodbye

Post by Mollycat »

Sorry for your loss and the sad circumstances. It's always hard losing our loved ones but being left with questions and regrets makes it so much tougher to accept.

I know it's just about impossible to break into raw grief but in time I hope some of this might reassure you a little. Cats almost all hide away when they are dying. Unless they are ill enough to be taken to the vets, this is very very common. It's not anything you did wrong and it's nothing against you. It is a cat's nature. It's most likely he felt unwell, the soiling was a symptom, and he found a quiet place to be alone. In other words, regardless of the weather, that this is what he chose.

I know it's hard to accept that your sweet companion would choose to spend his last hours out in the cold wet windy weather above a nice warm snuggly cuddle with you, but they are still a wild animal at heart and that is what they revert to. It doesn't mean he loved you any less, just that in that moment his needs became more important to him than yours.

When cats suddenly poop in odd places, it's invariably because they are trying to tell you something is wrong, and vomiting is always because something is wrong. It's never something to be angry about.
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