Conner the one eyed cat.

[Jazmin1_2]

Hello,

I am very new here but I needed somewhere to write down my thoughts and feelings. Seeing all your stories of your beloved cats is giving me the strength to do this.

*Disclaimer, I talk about how Conner passed. So please do not read if this is triggering*

I lost my precious one eyed cat Conner yesterday evening. We have only just adopted him in January so we’ve only had him for 7 months. A bit of background about him, Conner was in the adoption centre of over a year of his life; no one wanted him because he had one eye! That didn’t bother me or my family the minute we saw him, we knew he was meant for us. Originally he was a stay at home cat because the adoption centre didn’t want him to be move around too much.

We live in a neighbourhood with lots of greenery and houses so we decided to train him to go outside. Even though he had one eye this didn’t stop him from being home gifts which were the size of him . Conner had a unique personality, stubborn. If my brother played with him too much he’d walk away and sulked when my mum would put flea medicine on his fur. He would never be a noisy cat, he didn’t meow often but his purring was loud! The sound of it was so comforting to all of us. It made me understand that he was happy to be with us.

I was looking after my brother on Thursday afternoon (I’m 21, he’s 13) and I hear him say Conner is bleeding. I run downstairs, thinking it was his paw or something but no. His jaw was broken and he was struggling to breath. My heart was racing but I was in fight or flight mode. Conner ran up to my room, where he normally goes and I ring the vet. Got my brother to grab his cage and rushed him to the vet.

I knew this wasn’t good and eventually had to make the tough decision of putting him down. I knew for his quality of life keeping him here would be selfish and cruel. Luckily none of my family, besides me, saw what he looked like with his injury’s but I can’t help but see it in my head. I know this is natural but it is unbearable at the moment. I can’t help but feel responsible, that I shouldn’t of let him out, I should’ve called him in for dinner earlier.

After he passed, someone posted on Facebook about a cat being hit by a car. That was Conner. I responded saying that it was him but unfortunately he didn’t make it. The responses I’ve had have been overwhelming; I didn’t realise how many people knew him around here! It was lovely hearing all the things people used to do, like stroke him and let him on their trampolines.

Conner will forever be in my heart and his personality was nothing like I’ve ever seen before. This is my first loss of a pet and I would never want anyone to go through this. But I understand this happens.

Grieving is hard; but I know it takes time. I’m sending out all my love to anyone who has lost a pet. Thank you for reading this story and giving me the time to write it. Conner I love you.

[fjm]

I am so sorry. Conner's time with you was far too short but he obviously loved every moment of it, and especially roaming outside meeting and greeting people and living life to the full. You must still be in shock, going over the "if-onlies" and "my fault because" again and again as we are all prone to do when we lose a loved animal in a sudden accident, but that is what it was - an accident. His life would have been much more restricted had you kept him indoors - after so many months of boredom in rescue it must have felt like heaven to him to be free to explore and to hunt.

Try to think about the happy times, as well as those last, terrible minutes. We are here if you need someone to talk to.

[Mollycat]

So sorry for this awful accident that has taken little Conner away from you too soon. You obviously love him so dearly and gave him comfort and joy in the time he was with you, and offered him the chance to just be a cat, which is all he ever knew how to be. Don't let anyone tell you different.

I'm a little concerned about you though. You seem to be taking everything on your shoulders, even being thankful the rest of your family didn't see Conner injured. I hope you have plenty of love and support around you, and give yourself the time and space and boundaries to keep yourself healthy.

[Bertie 2017]

Hi first of all I am very sorry about your loss ,reading your story I can’t help thinking you ,
Are punishing yourself ,for conners passing ,it wasn’t your fault ,I believe things happen,
That are sadly out of our control ,my Bertie who also had one eye ,was P TS ,after a accident,
And yea Id blame myself for it ,for a long time ,in grief you will feel and experience,
Many thoughts and feelings , my advice is ,be kind too yourself ,none of this was down to you ,and life is so hard and cruel ,sometimes ,I speak for everyone else on this website ,we understand , how your feeling , and are here for you ,after losing Bertie ,I was given a
Number for the blue cross pet breavment support helpline ,this people are amazing ,helped
Me back on my feet ,it’s been almost four years since I lost Bertie ,,I still get my moments,
But I cherish the memories we shared ,and cannot help laughing ,at his antics ,as you said.
Having one eye ,didn’t stop Bertie ,living a full ,but short life ,he was only seven years old,
Losing a cat before they time ,is the toughest thing ever too accept ,but like Conner
Bertie was a happy cat ,Conner wasn’t with you for long ( sadly ) but you give him ,
A loving caring home ,where he was always loved and cherished ,and you will always love him .take care hugs to all , Pbss number 0800 096 6606 open 8-30 am 2 8-30:pm 7 days a week