I lost my best friend 2 months ago ...

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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I lost my best friend 2 months ago ...

Post by deansama »

I had no idea it would be so soon and how much the pain would consume me. First of all as I sit here typing this I have realised there's not been one day since my beloved boy's death that I haven't cried or tried to reach out for answers of what could have happened to him. I am also so sorry for your losses and know firsthand how devastating it is.

My Exotic Shorthair boy, Toro, who was about to be 5 years old died in the space of two hours whilst he was upstairs. I didn't hear him cry out, he was found lying in the sun at the top of the stairs on his side, eyes open, already dead, small urine patch near his rear end. I didn't even get chance to say goodbye. He was my best friend and the guilt since his death is destroying me.

He was an indoor cat and he always looked larger than his sister, also an Exotic. After the first two years and after vaccines we stopped taking them for regular checkups. They were on a monthly payment plan and so many people were saying there would be no benefit since they were indoor cats and it is a waste of money. I regrettably did stop but last Sept (6 months before his death) I did take him in for a health check. Toro passed the check but since his last checkup (2 years prior) he had gone from 4.5 kg to 3.5 kg. Vet didn't seem overly concerned but said I may want to have bloods. I wish I could recall whether I had pointed out his last checkup was 2 years and not recent. Oh how I wish I could turn back the clocks and how me agreeing to bloods may have changed things. But you see the thing is he was Toro until the very end, loved his food and drink, didn't have any health concerns that I could have noticed. Had I known there was an issue I would have done something immediately. In hindsight possibly during the last 2 weeks he was more vocal for treats. I wouldn't say he was ravenous though as he didn't finish his regular food. I would say between my two cats there were 3-4 instances where I discovered diarrhoea/sick on bedding. I put it down to an accident, could have still been.

We didn't have the autopsy after he died as I didn't want to do that to this body but the pain of not knowing what happened to my lil guy is destroying me.
HCM has been raised as a possible cause of death and that wouldn't show in routine bloods I'm told. But what if the bloods found something else?

I'll never find out how my best friend died and that hurts. He used to love being in his backpack while I carried him around the garden. I put his casket in the bag the other day and we listened to music together to remember the good times.
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