Lost My Boy Blaming Myself

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Bobandted
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Lost My Boy Blaming Myself

Post by Bobandted »

So in early may this year my partner noticed that one of our cats Bob was not himself. As soon as my partner said that I kept an eye on him, I noticed that his breathing was not right it looked laboured. We also noticed one of his front legs swollen, we to him to the vets who said it could possibly be Heat Failure, he recommended that we take him to a cardiologist which we did where she found a mass pushing down on his heart. It turned out to be a Lymphoma in between his lungs. He had several round of chemo and steroids. However this all did not work and we lost him about six weeks after late June this year. Since then I have been constantly trying to think what caused it. Yesterday I remembered that back in late January I knocked my I pad of the chair arm and it landed on one of my cats, I can’t be sure if it was Bob or his brother however now I can’t stop thinking did that cause it. My partner and friends say I’m daft but I can’t stop going over the scenario in my head. Is it possible that the blunt force of my IPad dropping on a cat can cause cancer. I guess grief is making me look for reasons. But I’m devastated I miss my boy so much
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Mollycat
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Re: Lost My Boy Blaming Myself

Post by Mollycat »

I think deep down you know cancer can't be caused by a trauma or anything you could have done. But it sounds like you also know grieving does funny things to your head including searching desperately to find something you could have done to make a different outcome. It's what we do, we look for a lesson to learn, but sometimes there isn't one.

I am so sorry for your loss. It's clear Bob was dearly loved by you and your partner, and although in time the pain will subside, let it have its time, it is part of your healing. Be kind to yourself.
Bobandted
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Re: Lost My Boy Blaming Myself

Post by Bobandted »

Wow thank you for that, it really made me think more clearer. And your right! on all fronts
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