Four years on I am in limbo
Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2021 10:31 am
This November will mark Bertie’s fourth anniversary ,all though the early days were hard ,
I feel I am ,improving: but I feel ,like I am under a dark cloud ,and a Bertie shaped hole,
In my heart and home ,I miss him so much ,I feel I will never ever get over my loss ,or
Put the feeling of anger and feeling cheated ,Bertie was taken to soon ,he was only 7 years.
Something I am finding hard to accept ,and move on ,every day is the same ,thinking of .
Him ,none stop ,longing for things ,too go back to the way ,there were ,even though ,
I know that cannot happen ,still it doesn’t stop me ,wishing I could turn back time ,and
Change the outcome ,I have no guilt over the accident ,or making the decision to let him go,
Bertie was very intelligent ,and independent, and lived his short life too the fullest ,he
Was a free sprint ,no keeping him alive ,and having to express his bladder 3x a day ,add
The baths and even nappy’s,,it would have destroyed him ,and he’d would have had a
Miserable life ,no I loved him too much ,too do that ,too him ,Bertie’s suffering is over,
But mine is still affecting me, I feel I will be stuck like this forever , frozen in time ,I
Cannot go back ,or move forward ,is this it for the rest of my life ? Will I ever feel normal
Again ,? I feel a different person ,the old care free self is gone ,for good I fear ,
I feel I am ,improving: but I feel ,like I am under a dark cloud ,and a Bertie shaped hole,
In my heart and home ,I miss him so much ,I feel I will never ever get over my loss ,or
Put the feeling of anger and feeling cheated ,Bertie was taken to soon ,he was only 7 years.
Something I am finding hard to accept ,and move on ,every day is the same ,thinking of .
Him ,none stop ,longing for things ,too go back to the way ,there were ,even though ,
I know that cannot happen ,still it doesn’t stop me ,wishing I could turn back time ,and
Change the outcome ,I have no guilt over the accident ,or making the decision to let him go,
Bertie was very intelligent ,and independent, and lived his short life too the fullest ,he
Was a free sprint ,no keeping him alive ,and having to express his bladder 3x a day ,add
The baths and even nappy’s,,it would have destroyed him ,and he’d would have had a
Miserable life ,no I loved him too much ,too do that ,too him ,Bertie’s suffering is over,
But mine is still affecting me, I feel I will be stuck like this forever , frozen in time ,I
Cannot go back ,or move forward ,is this it for the rest of my life ? Will I ever feel normal
Again ,? I feel a different person ,the old care free self is gone ,for good I fear ,