My beloved Sue

[LauraFlame]

My sweet little 12 year old girl, Sue, was diagnosed with a sarcoma on her lip last week. It has been there since April, and was being treated by my local vets as a rodent ulcer. After a few steroid injections, my vet declared he didnt know what this was. Biopsy results have come back as a really aggressive cancer. There are no treatments.

She is due to be put to sleep this Wednesday, and I am absolutely distraught already. I have had her and her sister for 12 beautiful years, they are inseparable. I have never had to do this before and honestly I am so scared. I am scared I cannot be strong for her, I am scared her last moments will be worry and panic. Selfishly I am scared of life without her.

I have to keep telling myself this is absolutely the right thing to do. I spoke to the vet earlier and she agreed that it wont be long until the cancer really takes hold and she is suffering - I want to avoid that happening at all costs. She is still wanting snuggles, still eating (not as much but she is managing)...and it hard to see that she is inwardly so poorly

Any words of encouragement or reassurance would be so welcome, my hearts hurting so much ahead of Wednesday

[Bertie 2017]

Hi I have just read your message ,and I am so sorry for your up coming loss ,on Wednesday,
I understand perfectly ,how much it’s hurting you ,but having sue put too sleep ,is sadly l
Something that needs doing ,I have witnessed many cats being put 2 sleep ,and trust me !
If you mentioned it to the vet ,your concerns and worries , the vet will make sure sue ,
Will have a peaceful passing ,in your arms ,and she won’t feel a thing ,my cat Bertie .
Was P T S ,four years ago ,and seeing and knowing he passed peacefully ,has been a great comfort to me ,in the dark times , and I understand perfectly your feelings about being..
There ,but it’s up too you ,only you can make that decision ,but trust me is not as bad
As you think , and understanding how the process works ,will give you peace of mind ,
In the long term ,of course you will be heartbroken ,but knowing sue went peacefully ,
Will. Bring you comfort ,and that’s the important thing here , and every one on this
Website is here for you ,and will support you , hugs and thoughts too you all ,

[Mollycat]

So sorry for your coming loss. With a trusted vet and planned ahead you are in the best possible hands, it's even worse when there is no time left and we just have to react quickly with very little warning or time to prepare.

It isn't selfish to be scared of the future. You will have your own grief as well as coping with a grieving cat, which can also be incredibly hard. It's ok to be scared, especially your first time. To be fair, it doesn't really get any easier next time. Once you arrive at the vets the vet and staff should all help you to keep calm and be strong, they deal with this sad time for patients and know how to support you.

For Sue, it's a little moment of irritation at having an injection, then she will feel sleepy and slip away. It takes just seconds. Her last moments will be peaceful in your arms, and the more calm and relaxed you can be, the easier it will be for her, which in turn will make it easier for you. Remember you are giving her the greatest gift you have left to offer her, to be free from pain and suffering. It's the most selfless thing you can do, when all you want for yourself is to keep her forever. It's ok to be sad and it's ok to be scared, but keep coming back to Doing the Right Thing for Sue and that will help you stay strong for her.

For most of us there are two surprises, which I think they ought to tell us so we are prepared. After they have gone, it's very common for the body to give a cough - it's a reflex as the body relaxes, nothing has gone wrong, but it makes you jump even if you expect it. Sometimes there can be a little twitching as well, that's also just the body settling. Also, a cat's eyes don't close, and you can't close them. They don't have eyelids the same way we do, it takes effort for a cat to keep its eyes closed, so when they have gone you can't close their eyes. Knowing that in advance helps avoid the surprise at the time.

[fjm]

I am facing this for my cat Pippin - not immediately, but I know it will not be long. I have only had to go through it once before and then I knew I should have made the appointment sooner, so you are absolutely right to think of Sue and plan what is best for her. What stays with me from last time was how simple and how gentle it was - my cat slipped away in a few breaths in my arms, and although I was desperately sad for myself I knew that I had done the best thing possible for her. I plan on asking my vets to explain in detail the procedures under Covid restrictions, so that I am well prepared in advance. I know them and trust them - it sounds as if you too have a good relationship with your vet, which helps. We have been handed a ticket to grief, and know we must make the journey - it doesn't get easier with repetition but there will be comfort in knowing you did everything possible for Sue, gave her many happy, fulfilled years and at the end had the courage to give her the last and kindest gift of all.

[LauraFlame]

Today went as well as today could, she is out of pain and suffering. I feel comforted by this, but now I am home and the children are in bed and everything is quiet, I am feeling broken. Now used to be the time that she would sit on my lap and stare at me with those beautiful eyes, now I have two very restless cats who are combing the house and garden looking for her.

I love you so much Sue, always and forever.

I hope it works but here is my favourite photo of her, untouched by cancers evil grasp.

[fjm]

What gorgeous eyes, and such a pretty cat. Sleep well, Sue, and wake to chase the mice between the stars.

Grief hurts, physically as well as emotionally - be kind to yourself and to each other.

[Mollycat]

What a sweet little pudding face, may you be purring in the Light now.

Take good care of you and all the family in the days and weeks to come.

[Bertie 2017]

Hi just too say what a beautiful cat , sue is I say
Is because , even though they are gone they
Live on , in our heart and memories

Rip sue xx

So sorry for your loss

Xx