A Cathartic Tale

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Catdad1965
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:26 am

A Cathartic Tale

Post by Catdad1965 »

Apologies for what will be a long post...but decided to put together a little story relating to the recent crossing of the Rainbow Bridge by two of our family!I am not sure if this is the right place,especially as I posted for some advice the other day in the general chat section but..as this is ultimately a type of eulogy..this seems appropriate..and has been somewhat cathartic for me!I actually sat down to do this to somebody else but thought I would share here as maybe..just maybe..the idea of setting down one's past with your lost loved one..remembering their foibles etc..well..perhaps it will help others to do the same as it has a little?Sure it still hurts like hell..sure I still tear up etc..but..feels like I have crossed a hurdle!

A Story of Tragedy and Hope
Hello there,sorry to bother you and potentially take up more of your time than you can spare but..have a tale to tell and am hoping you can offer some advice and maybe some hope at the end of it!

11 years ago..7/7/2010..I lost my soul mate..a little black and white female cat who had joined our family as a stray..along with 2 other cats..blackie..a male and Ginger..a calico female..Blackie was the first to come to us and sadly the first to leave us..Spot..who was my girl..was very affectionate and used to talk a lot as well as headbump me,tap my shoulder for attention when I was on my computer and she would also from time to time..talk to the community I was interacting with..as well as type gibberish when she decided to walk across my keyboard..
7/7/2010..As I suffer from various health issues that sometimes leave me quite fatigued I was having a rest with Spot in her customary place on the bed...when I woke up she wasn't there..nor did she return for her tea or supper..and I ended up looking for her in the middle of the night and off and on for next week...I then had an idea..She used to bring us mice(totally unharmed)from a house across the busy main road about 60 or so yards away..always was a savvy cat so had no worries really for her..however..on going to the old garage that abutted the house where she got the mice..It came to light during conversation that she had been run over on the forecourt by the proprietors sister in law..and had been taken to a vets but had not made it...and..I was too late to even claim her body as it had gone for cremation..literally an hour or so before...I felt like something inside had broken...
I decided to honour her,not by replacing her but her legacy would be helping two other cats in desperate need of a home...and so..after a few weeks of searching online and going to rescue centres with most frowning at our choices or saying we lived too close to a road etc.(Even though we now planned to keep any cats inside to avoid such tragedy as had befallen Spot)...Ginger in this time had changed from a timid girl who I used to think hated me to an affectionate bundle of fluff who was there to ease some of the pain..anyways..sorry I digress..

My wife saw a picture of a little tuxie girl(sorry tearing up as I write this)with prominent whiskers and a face that oozed character..and so we ended up driving to the Pet Rescue Welfare at Dyserth...where we were told the little cat we wanted was taken..but as we had come to potentially get two cats in Spot's memory..we still looked around..and there we met several lovely cats..sadly one I really liked was taekn..as was Socks..the little girl my wife liked...who we saw...but there was this cheeky black boy who greeted us with a loud meow and who flung himslef at the wire of his cage and clung on for dear life and so..he chose us..that was our cheeky sooty!Got a call later and they said Socks was now free as previous person had pulled out..did we still want her...YES...
So we ended up adding Socks and Sooty to our family..alongside Ginger..the calico and Jess..a proper Tuxie Tom...and all went well in time...though we did lose Jess who I guess wanted his freedom and went missing(Wouldn't have been fair to keep him in like we did the others as he had arrived as a stray a few years before and was used to the life where Ginger ,after Spot's loss didn't want to go out anymore)...We shortly afterwards(2012) got another stray,a young Tuxie male called Merlin..who was mistaken for Jess and had been living under a caravan down the road...Some cat dynamic issues for a while and Sooty would make a mad dash for freedom every now and then..always coming back but worrying us all the same..especially my son who was 5 at the time and saw Sooty as his cat..and him being on the spectrum he found great comfort in Sooty!
Moving on to 2018/2019..and we added yet another to our cat family..Billy who was sleeping in a little hollow he made in the soil under our hedge..we fed him a little and gave him some water but..with it turning colder in amonth or so..well..we brought him in..and introduced him slowly to the others after vet checks for FIV etc.(We have always had any strays we have brought in checked over)..then in November 2019..We lost Ginger who had been my girl since we lost Spot....We had 4 cats left which seemed like a good number,a comfortable number that didn't overwhelm the space we had in the house too much and though I would have liked moremjust like I had always wanted a dog,since we lost our GSD back in 05..felt that other than in an emergency(another stray) it wouldn't be fair on the others to bring in more cats or a dog.Plus my health and mobility weren't what they used to be...and an extra burden would have fallen on my wife which wouldn't have been fair!

And so now we begin to get to the end of my tale....Socks was the boss cat of the four..feisty little girl who had been abandoned while pregnant but who always stood up for herself and who loved a fuss and food...Sooty was the cheeky,mischievous Steve McQueen character..always trying to escape..even getting out of an upstairs window open only on it's first locking hole!Merlin was the big softy of the group...but who didn't like Sooty overly as the former had tried to bully him when he joined us..and Billy who mainly kept himself to himself but could be affectionate when he wanted...and could sometimes be confusing for us as he was also a black cat like Sooty!
8/10/21...Socks isn't herself...yowling when picked up sometimes..and sleeping a lot..stays like this over the weekend..still eating and drinking but need to get her checked out at vets..snuggles up against my face in bed..
12/10/21...Take her to the vets where they say her situation is terminal...not happy in us wanting to take her home but..wanted a bit fo time with her in private so we could all say our goodbyes(tearing up again..sorry)..Other cats were reacting in different ways..not sure if my obvious grief was impacting them?Sooty went into the bedroom and curled up on my pillow,Merlin was licking Sock's head..something he would never have got away with normally(said she was feisty)..and Billy went to lie in one of the litter trays?..and so we saw her over the Rainbow Bridge that evening....Tried to make sure the other cats were ok..i.e went to them and tried to comfort them,talk to them etc..Sooty was still on my pillow and Billy hiding in a litter box..but Merlin seemed to be trying to help us as was more affectionate and in closer contact than usual for him!
14/10/21 Sooty still on my pillow(had been getting up for toilet breaks and food and returning)..I put this down to a little cat depression/grief at Socks' loss seeing as they had come to us together from the same place 11 years before..That night noticed he felt cool so we moved him into the front room..some yowling...and put fire on for him etc.Wrapped him up to help keep him warm etc and made an appointment for him to see vet the next day...thought he maybe needed something to pep him up etc..

15/10/21...Told that Sooty was also terminal...couldn't and still can't get my head around it...apparently with CKD which is what was said about Socks too...Had to sign waiver to bring him home as we couldn't euthanise there and then..not without our son being there..who we had to get from school and were then to take Sooty back at 3pm ...at least we would all have a little time with him to say good bye..and his pain was eased with some morphine apparently..We took turns holding him..and don,t know when but..his breathing changed a bit..looked like he was taking in big lungfuls every so often then normalising...and at around 2.27/28pm my Wife asked me to check him...he was lying there with is mouth open...but his little heart had stopped and he was no longer with us..he had crossed the bridge..Personally,I think he chose to give up and go now..or as the vet said shut down as he didn't want to be without his companion Socks....not so much broken this time as shattered!

Have lost my parents and other close relatives and many pets over the years all dear to me..some my constant companion but..this hurts as much as any grief I have felt...maybe even more so...I think maybe losing both close together..so unexpectedly and their history...i.e. coming from same rescue on same day yet both crossing the Rainbow Bridge within days of each other with neither having displayed any signs of illness until a few days before they went....
Anyway..sorry for taking up all your time with this story but it's something I felt needed to be told and..it's been a little cathartic...and a step in the plan I now have for moving forward..hopefully.
I will not forget Sooty or Socks..they were part of our family,part of our life and brought much to the table...they will live on in our memories as all our past animal friends have and they will help drive forward the legacy and let us accept another cat or two.not to replace them but..to bring more chapters to the story and help out others that deserve and need the home,the family and the love they had!
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