Not coping after losing my cat

[Tilly2shoes+]

My world is in pieces my beautiful princess Tilly passed away a week ago and every since then I’ve been struggling.
We adopted Tilly it would of been 12 years ago this month within weeks of having her she starting sleeping on my bed in the evening which I didn’t mind over the years she became my mums princess, and she developed illness over the years IBS, asthma having to give her inhalers 3 times a day. She always followed my mum and me about she became my shadow, when my mum became ill after a fall I was really the main one looking after her. In October 19 my mum became I’ll and went into hospital and Tilly became I’ll and vets referred her for treatment in vet hospital she was diagnosed pancreatitis but she fought hard and she came home after week and a half to recover but unfortunately my mum passed away that November it was hard on everyone Tilly knew she would look for mum but she settled and she became my support comforter especially at night. Tilly was later diagnosed with liver damage and then developed diabetes so not just having inhalers she had to have tablets daily and insulin twice a day. But we managed with her comfort it helped me with my grief of losing my mum. She had flare ups and our vets always managed to treat her and she bounced back. On 27th December she was sick and it was a bank holiday so didn’t ring vets until early evening then had to take her out to emergency vets. They took her in I rang them at 9pm and they said she’s settled and starting to improve with treatment but at 6:30am 28th they rang and told us she’s took turn for the worse and wanted us to come. We got there and they gave her to me I cried a lot (still am) they said think she had brain bleed and no longer there but she snuggled into my neck like she usually does when need comfort I stroked her told her she ok then she passed.
Every since then I’m very emotional, feeling lost some family telling me to get over it she was just a pet which hurts my dad even said I’m more upset of Tilly’s death than my mums that was hard … I’m not sleeping or eating I keep blaming myself if I got her treatment straight away like I would of on normal day etc
I cry a lot I’m just struggling doing every day jobs. I hate going to bed at night I sleep with her blanket and still got the ones on my bed just can’t take it off. The house feels empty I feel alone and empty (I’m crying now a lot) so I’m going.
Sorry if I’ve gone on it’s just don’t know what to do Tilly wasn’t just a pet she was my baby girl

[fjm]

I am so sorry. Tilly was not "just a cat". She was your friend, your companion, your shadow, your confidant, the centre of daily rituals of loving care. She helped you through the death of your mother and was a link to her love, so losing Tilly must have felt like also losing your mother all over again.

We all tend to feel guilt at these times, running though the what-ifs and if-onlies again and again. But you have nothing reproach yourself for. You nursed Tilly through long term illnesses and several life threatening events, and your care gave her a much longer and happier life than she might have had. I do not think getting her to the vet a few hours earlier would have made any difference, and I am sure if you ask
them your vets would say the same. You did all you could, and when the end was inevitable you were with her to comfort her. Grief is hard and painful - don't make it harder by blaming yourself.

You may find the Blue Cross Bereavement Support service helpful if you need someone to talk to: https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereav ... d-pet-loss Many of us here have lost beloved animals and know something of what you are going through - we too are always here to help.

[Tilly2shoes+]

Thank you it helped to read your words. She’s home now and they did a paw print and got fur clippings. It strange how bringing her home has filled the emptiness feeling.
Thanks again