I have a cat shaped hole in my life :(

[CatClaws]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and recently joined as I enjoyed reading the forum. Aware this is a bit of a depressing first post!

I recently lost my dear little cat due to heart failure, and I feel so sad now she's gone. I find that my heart aches for her and I miss my furry best friend so much, the unconditional love she gave me whether I was happy or sad, and her cute little miaow. I honestly didn't expect to feel grief like this, I certainly never have before (granted I've never lost a human close to me before) and I just miss her SO much.

I'm finding I have this cat shaped hole in my life, which is almost making me feel like I need another cat. Not to replace M, but simply to distract me and give me a furry bundle to cuddle. I'm so aware that a potential new cat would not be at all like M, and I wouldn't want it to be. I know a new cat wouldn't fill the hole left in my heart, but it might help to have a purring friend to give a cuddle to. Is this a crazy idea?

At one stage when M was still around I wanted a new kitten, but ended up not getting one, plus I'm not sure whether it would have been fair on her. But now I'm not at all sure I have the energy for a kitten, I guess I just want a cat to cuddle and look after. For that reason I was thinking of adopting an older cat from a rescue, as I know they are a lot less popular and I would love to give one a chance.

Thing is, I also have another cat in the household who's not mine (she's my Mum's and the cat is very much a one person cat!) , and I wouldn't want to upset her at all. But since we had her she has been with other cats, maybe she's lonely....but I think I might just be kidding myself on that one so I wouldn't feel bad about getting a new cat. Would the cat be able to accept a new cat? Or would it be better to get a kitten which is less threatening? Or maybe I shouldn't get a cat at all......


I just don't know. I'm completely lost and just feel so sad. I'm so sorry this post is so long and well done to anyone who reads it all! And thank you so much for any replies.

[Kay]

welcome to CatChat, though I wish it had been in happier circumstances

most if not all of us here have been through the pain of loss, and dilemma about taking on another cat, that you are going through now - everyone has their own personal path, but I always have felt that filling that cat shaped hole in no way fills the hole left by a departed friend - it's just that a true cat lover has a heart full of nooks and crannies

and rescues are overflowing with cats desperate for a loving home - why not start looking - there are pages of cats in rescue in the main part of CatChat - and you can discuss with the rescue whether a cat which takes your fancy would fit in to your home setup

the only time I made a mistake over a cat was replacing one of 14+ years with a kitten - the kitten wanted to play and I wanted a loving companion cat - and it took a while for us to bond

introductions do take time, but as your mum's cat is not averse to another cat's company, you should be able to manage them if you follow the rules - and you'll find lots of advice on here

good luck

[bobbys girl]

Hello and welcome to CC.

I was sad to hear about your little cat. I do know how you feel. I can only echo everything that Kay has said. We have all been there and you are not being disloyal to your little girl to want to give a home to another cat. There are so many out there that are looking for a good home.

Please keep in touch. Best wishes

Sue

[CatClaws]

welcome to CatChat, though I wish it had been in happier circumstances

most if not all of us here have been through the pain of loss, and dilemma about taking on another cat, that you are going through now - everyone has their own personal path, but I always have felt that filling that cat shaped hole in no way fills the hole left by a departed friend - it's just that a true cat lover has a heart full of nooks and crannies

and rescues are overflowing with cats desperate for a loving home - why not start looking - there are pages of cats in rescue in the main part of CatChat - and you can discuss with the rescue whether a cat which takes your fancy would fit in to your home setup

the only time I made a mistake over a cat was replacing one of 14+ years with a kitten - the kitten wanted to play and I wanted a loving companion cat - and it took a while for us to bond

introductions do take time, but as your mum's cat is not averse to another cat's company, you should be able to manage them if you follow the rules - and you'll find lots of advice on here

good luck

Thank you very much for your reply. I've had a good look at the rescues and the cats really appealing to me are the older, cuddly cats, so that may be something to look into. That's exactly what I was worried about if I replaced M with a kitten, I guess at the moment I just don't really feel like playing with a kitten, but want a companion to cuddle with. I know the gap left by M will never be filled, but having a new buddy my make the gap a little less painful. Thanks again

[CatClaws]

Hello and welcome to CC.

I was sad to hear about your little cat. I do know how you feel. I can only echo everything that Kay has said. We have all been there and you are not being disloyal to your little girl to want to give a home to another cat. There are so many out there that are looking for a good home.

Please keep in touch. Best wishes

Sue

Thank you. Just looking at the rescue centre pages made me realise there are hundreds, thousands even, of cat just waiting for a good home.

[hgale]

Welcome to CC from me too.

When Mischa passed to Rainbow Bridge in February, a friend said to me "I'll give it 6 months before you have the patter of paws again". I just didn't believe her at the time - I thought I'd reached my limit with how many times I could have my heart broken when you have to say good-bye.

Fast forward 5 and a half months and when my neighbours moved and were unable to take all their cats, I was very happy to take on Denver (who was already a very regular visitor!), who is now happily snuggled on the sofa beside me as I type. Having a cat again has made me realise just how much I missed having one in my life.

No cat can ever take the place of M, but there are hundreds of cats just looking for a new person to love them. I'm sure there is a cat out there who is used to being with other cats and who would love a new home with you.

Please let us know how you get on.

Helen and Denver

[Crewella]

I'm so sorry - I lost a cat recently myself, and I know how it hurts. (((hugs)))

My original cats all lived to ripe old ages, and I did give their places to older cats needing homes when they passed on. They all had different characters and didn't replace the cats I lost, but they did give me company and something to focus on. I've never regretted doing that, and as has been said, there are many, many cats out there needing loving homes. Especially older cats that aren't homed as easily as kittens.

[CatClaws]

Thank you everyone, and I'm so sorry for each of your losses.

I didn't ring up the shelter in the end, and I've decided to leave it for a bit I think. Starting college in September so I'll be pretty busy. I guess it was the ultimate shock as as soon as M died I was on holiday for a week, and when I came back and M wasn't around it just made me so sad. Feeling a bit better about it all now, so I think I'm just going to wait and see for a few months. I might go crazy without a furry friend in my life for months, or maybe I'll get used to the hole in my life.

Thanks again everyone