Missing my Diesel so much

[Cyberhell]

We had to say goodbye to our beautiful 14 year old middle cat Diesel on 22nd September, 3 days before my 40th Birthday and 2 days before setting off on my Birthday motorbike tour of Scotland, which we just felt like cancelling.

She'd not been herself over the weekend but we thought it was just a bit of arthritis in her hips. Hubby was working 2.5 hours away in Wales that day so I took her to the vets on my own & was devastated to be told she had a large mass in her abdomen & it looked like the end of the road. I left her to have a scan but the news was terrible, a large tumour on the liver which was bleeding into her tummy. Poor hubby then had such a long drive back to meet me then go back to the vets to have some time & cuddles with her before we said goodbye.

We're both totally devastated & I've cried so much over the last 2 weeks. I know time will ease the pain but my heart aches so much. Last night was my first time home alone overnight without hubby after our sad goodbye to Diesel. I'm feeling physically awful as he kindly gave me his cold before going off to Wales til Weds and I'm off work moping around aching all over and being snotty through the cold and tears. Although I went to bed early as I'm so drained I couldn't sleep as I couldn't stop thinking about Diesel. Feeling so sad again and it feels worse being here on my own. We still have her Mum Rossi, who heard me crying and came in meowing and jumped on the bed for cuddles. Youngest cat Chevy was really not herself for the first week and I really think she was missing her as she used to adore Diesel. Feels like I'll never get over this, there's constantly little things that keep setting me off.

[bobbys girl]

I am so sorry to hear about your lovely girl, Diesel. What a shock for you. That is a stunning photo of a beautiful cat.

Most folks on CC know just what you are going through. We are here if you want to talk.

Be kind to yourself and cuddle Rossi and Chevy. I hope you are feeling better soon. Thinking of you

[Cyberhell]

Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. I've been with cats since I was born & lost 4 family cats in the past which was hard, but Diesel & Rossi were my first cats as a grown up in my own house so it feels so much more raw.

[Crewella]

I'm so very sorry, I hope you take some comfort from the fact that she had a lovely life with you, and that you were able to make that awful decision and save her from pain and suffering at the end. I lost one of my gang a few months ago - it still hurts, but it does get easier. I promise. (((hugs)))

Rest in peace beautiful Diesel.