Our beautiful Penny xx

[Gemma]

Yes it sure is helping chatting on here, thank you
It means i dont have to talk to ben about it right now. He isn't ready to talk about what happened (maybe he never will want to talk about it). So instead i can support him deal with it by not having to bring the subject up all the time.

I think im going to give the vets she was registered with a ring tomorrow to see if i can have a chat with one of the vets about it. It may still not answer the thoughts going round my head but it may help. She was very rock solid stiff when we found her, it was extremely difficult to lift her out of the space she had got herself in to. Ben wouldn't let me look at her body as said it didn't look like (bit twisted) and so wrapped her in one of her bedding sheets just with her perfect head poking out. He said he could not see any obvious inury but it was dark and she was very black! Her eyes were open and glazed over and the tip of her tongue was sticking out - like when she used to stop mid wash and look round with a bit of tongue out. It was still quite pink. I was tempted to open her mouth the look at her gums but Ben persuaded me not too. He later said her jaw was stiff shut. I hadn't of been so in shock and upset I think i would of liked to of brought her into the house to look at her properly but then would i want those images of her in my mind.

I have to keep thinking that she was very badly hurt or sick and she wanted to be alone and undisturbed. Taking her to the vets when she was in a bad way (if i had found her still alive) would of stressed her out and caused more discomfort. I have to keep thinking i wasn't meant to find her until i did, and that ill be ever grateful she got her self home and that we found her to lay her to rest.

I didn't realise it was only a couple of months since your beautiful peaches left you xxxx thank you for sharing so much and all the support and advice. I hopr in the future I can return the favour on here too

xx

[bobbys girl]

Gemma,

I have to keep thinking i wasn't meant to find her until i did,

I believe, like you, that everything happens for a reason. We may not like or even understand these things, but someday it will all become clear.

In England I had my own house, car and a well-paid job (which I hated). I always wanted to live in the country but could not afford to move. I lost my job and nearly my house. I was unemployed for over 2 years. But without those misfortunes I would never have met Dave (at the Job Club ), or accepted the contract that brought me to Ireland and I would never have been in the right place, at the right time to find Willow. So I now look back at the day I lost my job, with gratitude, as one of the best days of my life - funny that!

One day some good will come of this tragedy. That doesn't help right now, but you'll get through it. Your girl is at peace now and playing happily at RB.

Best wishes to you and Ben

Sue xx

[Janey]

That is a lovely pic of Sooty too, Janey - my Merrick is black and I know how hard it is to take pics of black cats!

I hope you don't mind my sharing on your thread, Gemma - this is a pic of Peaches in her favourite spot in the summer of last year.

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Thanks Crewella, she was a little cutie bless her. Unfortunately I can't see the photo of Peaches it won't open up for me? I will try again later though.

Gemma it definitely helped me talking to people on CC, shortly after my loss the same thing happened to another poster and I remember chatting to her and it helped because my hubby didn't want to talk, and to know I wasn't the only one going through this turmoil was some comfort to me. I am sure it really helped the other lady to have someone to talk to too.

[Janey]

I can see the photo of Peaches now Crewella, it's just gorgeous, bless her xx

[Gemma]

nearly one week anniversery since we found our beautiful girl penny in the garden.
Still racked with guilt for not finding her sooner and being able to help her and pondering over the what ifs.
regret not taking her to the vets for more answers and closure on what happened to our lovely girl.
Have spent most the day feeling in limbo land. What to move forward but am still reliving the past.
Am I being normal?
xxxxxxx

[bobbys girl]

What's normal?

Grief takes us all in different ways. Don't be so hard on yourself. x

[Gemma]

Just a bit worried bens going to think im not handling things well and dont want him to worry about me or make him feel worse than he already does by keep relieving whats happened.

i spoke to the vets today after work and someones going to give me a ring back tomorrow so i can ask them a few questions about what happened.

slept the night through for the first time in a week last night. Hoping for another good sleep tonight.

thank you for listening xx

[bobbys girl]

i spoke to the vets today after work and someones going to give me a ring back tomorrow so i can ask them a few questions about what happened.

That's good. Hopefully they can answer your questions and help put your mind at ease. Sleep well. xx

[Gemma]

Hello
Just been reading through all the posts on our beautiful penny thread - such lovely kind words of support and advice. Don't think I read most of it properly the first time round, infact I don't really remember much of October (when we lost penny) to be honest. Just wanted to say a big thanks again for all your support here.
I still think of penny every day, and sometimes have a little cry. At first I couldn't bear to be at home on my own as got very upset with penny not being around, but now I can take comfort in being home cause I can sometimes feel her here with me. Ben says he can see her spirt in the birds that now whizz around our garden and nest in the trees!!
We are almost ready to adopt another cat. I think this time we will look for 2 together so that they have company for one another. Penny was definately a people cat not a cats cats!! She would of hated another feline friend sharing her space!
We can't decide whether to adopt kittens again or this time older cats? I like the though of bonding when their so young but then there's the kitten madness!! If they were a bit older they may be a bit more sedate but then what if they don't bond well with us?
Any suggestions welcome!!
Gemma x