RIP Shadz x

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
Post Reply
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Hi all, new to these forums & never thought I'd be needing bereavement support so soon in my kitty's life. I have just found out my gorgeous 4 year old boy Shadow is dead after 6 weeks of him being missing. A man clearing trees found him over the road from our house in his favourite play spot next to a derelict house. He had tried to jump a trellis but missed and his head got caught. We think & are hoping he would have died instantly. It's so upsetting to know he was just a few feet away this whole time & we didn't find him. I'm grateful to the man who found him and came to tell us but I can't help feeling bad that he was there for a whole 6 weeks on his own :cry: Also, his brothers hang out there too and would likely have seen him every day the poor things. What makes it worse is that we had potential sightings of him in an area nearby so I'd been concentrating on searching that area. I feel so hurt & upset. I know he was only being a cat & it was a freak accident but it doesn't stop it hurting x
User avatar
bobbys girl
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 3095
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:58 pm
No. of cats in household: 5
Location: Co. Fermanagh

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by bobbys girl »

Oh Rachael, I am so sorry. Poor Shadow and what a terrible shock for you.

We had a cat go missing (only 2 days) and found him under the trailer that is parked at the side of the house. We must have walked past him several times, looking and calling for him. The vet said he thought Cass had suffered a massive heart attack and there was nothing we could have done. It still doesn't stop the hurt and the 'what if's'.

Take some comfort in knowing that he was just 'being a cat', playing in his favourite place.

It hurts right now, but it will get better. (hugs) to you and fusses to your boys.
User avatar
Crewella
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 3605
Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:59 pm
No. of cats in household: 6
Location: Hertfordshire

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Crewella »

I'm so sorry to hear about poor Shadow, that really must have been a horrible shock. Please don't beat yoursellf up about not finding him, it really is just one of those things and a freak accident - you were trying your best, and it wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome if you had found him earlier. As Bobbys Girl has said, take some comfort in the fact that he was in his favourite spot and doing what he loved. (((hugs)))

Rest in peace lovely Shadow. xx
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Thank you both for your kind words, I really appreciate them. My cat lady friend took me out for some fresh air & I feel a bit better but it's the night time that is the hardest as we all know! We buried Shadow under his favourite bush in the garden today where he liked to watch all the birds from so I'm pleased we have been able to find him a nice place to rest. My poor little buddy but as you say doing what a cat does, he just got unlucky. I'm sorry for both of your losses too, they will always remain in our hearts x
User avatar
Gemma
Frequent Cat Chatter
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:39 pm

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Gemma »

Hi Rachael
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful boy Shadow, what an awful shock that much of been. Very kind of your neighbour and now you can bring closure to him missing and lay him to rest in a beautiful place.
There many people on here that will understand your pain and can help to chat through how your feeling.
Like you, I also found my beautiful Penny after she had gone missing - she too was only a stones throw from the house. I too felt guilty for searching all over the village for her and all the time she was hiding in the back garden. I have said the same things you are now, and still do. It does get easier with time xxx
What a lovely life you gave to Shadz, he must of loved being able to run free and explore, you must have some lovely memories of him.

My girl Penny will be running and jumping around with Shadz at Rainbow Bridge . . . .

x
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Hi Gemma, thank you for kind words & I'm sorry for your Penny, she looked to be a lovely black kitty just like my Shadow. I've been managing to sleep eventually and it's usually the early morning like now that my mind starts whirring! I know I couldn't have done anything to save him but the hurt isn't any less. I'm trying to stay positive for his Mum & 3 brothers, I think they know something is not right & I don't want them to feel bad too. I just feel empty & exhausted. I think it's the many weeks of searching catching up with me. I must drag myself to work now. Hopefully it will provide some distraction! Thank you for your support x
User avatar
bobbys girl
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 3095
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:58 pm
No. of cats in household: 5
Location: Co. Fermanagh

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by bobbys girl »

Oh Rachael I do feel for you. You have had a terrible shock and it is all catching up with you. You must be gentle with yourself, for the sake of your other kitties and your own health. Take care. x
User avatar
Gemma
Frequent Cat Chatter
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:39 pm

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Gemma »

Hi rachael
Was just thinking of you hope your doing ok xx
I don't really remember the first week or so after we found penny was a horrible mixture of grief, guilt and sadness. I cried more than I ever have about anything before. Like you mornings were and still are the worse time. I would always spring out of bed when the alarm went off to see her meowing on the garden patio to be let in! She would roll around and I would fuss her and talk to her. During that first week or so i could not eat, not sleep well, couldn't concentrate, could watch TV or listen to the radio. Like you I have a responsible job god knows how I functioned going to work I wish that I had been able to take some time off.
I imagine after 6 weeks of searching it must be an awful emotional shock. Believe me there is nothing to be blaming yourself for. You feel so awful because you care for cats and are a responsible pet owner. It will get better I promise xx
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Hi ladies, you are such a thoughtful group and it is so kind of you to check up on me Gemma. I hope you are all well. I'm definitely more 'wobbly' on a morning and in the day. I'm finding that by night time I'm so exhausted I am managing to sleep which I am grateful of. Gemma, I too have been unabled to listen to music since he went missing and have only been able to have on 'easy watching' tv. I know its hard to function at work but I do believe it aids as a distraction for us, being at home all the time I think I'd sink into a dark depression!

What I'm finding harded is the feeling of anxieting/nervousness which is stopping me wanting to go places. Did anyone else have this and do you have any tips/breathing techniques I could try? I'm due to go away on Sunday for 4 days and am feeling really anxious about it when usually I'd just be looking forward to it. I know I will be fine once I get there but its the going that is affecting me so any tips would be greatly welcome.

P.S. Today is black cat appreciation day so lets appreciate our kitties both with us and sadly no longer for all they have brought to our lives! I have tried to attach 3 images of my boy Shadow now I've managed to make the files smaller! x
Shadow3.jpg
(60.18 KiB) Not downloaded yet
image (1).jpeg
image (1).jpeg (67.66 KiB) Viewed 5283 times
image (2).jpeg
image (2).jpeg (42.05 KiB) Viewed 5283 times
User avatar
bobbys girl
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 3095
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:58 pm
No. of cats in household: 5
Location: Co. Fermanagh

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by bobbys girl »

Hi Rachael,

great to hear from you and lovely photo's of your boy.
Rachael_Shadz wrote:What I'm finding harded is the feeling of anxieting/nervousness which is stopping me wanting to go places.

I feel anxious every time I see Bobby skipping off over the fields behind us. He is off on an adventure (no roads or other dangers that way). If he is not back for his dinner or still out after dark (5PM these days) I'm worried sick. He doesn't realise he is 'disabled'. It's a horrible feeling isn't it? I wish I knew a 'cure'. :?

Where are you going on Sunday - sorry that sounds so nosey of me? I just meant, if it is for work, hope it is a fruitful, worthwhile trip. If it's a break, have a wonderful time! If you enjoy yourself it doesn't mean you are being disloyal to shadow's memory. In time the pain will ease, there will always be some sadness, but plenty of happy memories too.
Rachael_Shadz wrote: P.S. Today is black cat appreciation day so lets appreciate our kitties both with us and sadly no longer for all they have brought to our lives!
I didn't know that! I love all my kitties but have a special affection for my black cats, Willow my first cat (who is not very well at the moment) and my baby, 'Bendy' Bob.

Yes lets hear it for black cats, Hurray!! :D

Love and (hugs) to you Rachael and loads of fusses to your 3 boys and their mummy.

Sue
User avatar
Gemma
Frequent Cat Chatter
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:39 pm

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Gemma »

Loving the georgous pictures of your beautiful boy, must say I think black cats are the most intriguing.
Our penny was very sweet and gentle (apart from with mice, birds, butterflies!!) and very clever. We miss her being around terribly I had a little cry again this morning wishing for one more day with her.
Hope you've managed to get away on your trip ok? I think the mind and body react in unexpected and different ways when handling shock and grief and wouldn't be too hard on yourself struggling to get out and about. Perhaps just take each day of it at a time, what's about a rescue remedy? I've never tried one but don't know if that would help? Xxx
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Hi Sue & Gemma

Very sorry for such a late reply, I didn't get chance to reply before I went away and was launched straight back into work on my return. I hope you are both well. I went to Disneyland Paris with my friend and her daughter which had been planned for some time. It was a nice break apart from the hellishly long coach journey!!! It has been a nice distraction but I'm still getting the anxiety at times. Its horrible isn't it, you just can't shake the feeling even when it appears in the middle of Disneyland!!! I am a bit down today as back to my normal working routine and having to get used to the not searching etc. I'm doing my best to keep myself occupied though and give me other kitties plenty of attention. Two of them are still a little lost without him, it changes the dynamics doesn't it? And we all know that cats don't like change!

I have bought Loc8tor collars for my brood more for my peace of mind and as they don't generally go far they are working well to find them if I need to check on them. Don't think they'd cover the distance of the fields though Sue! Can I ask what disability Bobby has if you don't mind me asking? Is Willow feeling better?

Yes I do love my black cats, 2 out of my 4 left are black along with one sandy boy and their mum is a typical moody torty! I do love all cats though :o)

Gemma, you are right, we can't help how we feel and will always have a little cry every now and again because we cared but also have to remember things they did to make us laugh. My bro nicknamed Shadow 'bin dweller' as he's always hop on top of our kitchen bin and wait for treats, bless him!

I hope all your kitties have been tucked up inside during these bonfire nights, mine brought themselves in thankfully! Thank you ladies for your continued support, it really does help to have others to chat to as not everyone understands what we have been through x
User avatar
bobbys girl
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 3095
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:58 pm
No. of cats in household: 5
Location: Co. Fermanagh

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by bobbys girl »

Hi Rachael,

nice to hear from you again. Hope you had a good time at Disneyland Paris.
rsz_020.jpg
Bobby
(199.78 KiB) Not downloaded yet
Does this answer your question? Bob had to have a front leg amputated. Happily it doesn't appear to be too much of a 'disability' to him. :D

Willow is a little up and down at the moment. Sometimes she limps sometimes she doesn't and those ear mites must be really deep-seated (persistent little beggers) As you can see from the photo she is not amused!
rsz_076_2.jpg
Willow is not amused.
(221 KiB) Not downloaded yet
At least Shadow sat on the bin to wait for his treats. Tom sits on the breadboard. he seems to find it funny when I get bent out of shape about it. 'Tom get your backside off there!' 'Mum, you do go a funny colour when you yell.' :lol:

We are fortunate over here - they don't do Bonfire Night. They think burning the effegy of man is in poor taste - and I agree. Plus the fact that you have to have a license to BUY fireworks = happy days for pets!

Fusses to your kitties.

Sue
Rachael_Shadz
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2014 8:01 am

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by Rachael_Shadz »

Hi Sue, hope you and the kittie are well. Work has been manic & with the dark nights to add I've just been feeling tired and haven't had much access to write.

I love the pics of Bob & Willow, they are both gorgeous! Bob definitely doesn't look like he is bothered by his 'disability', cats really do adapt to things that happen to them!

The boys seem to be adjusting to life without their bro now and have started to sleep in spots they stopped doing when Shadz went missing. It gets a little easier each day though I know I will always think about him and miss him. Think that's just human!

Talking of ear mites, it's been fleas in our house! After two rounds of treatment and blasting the house they are getting there but them fleas are solid little critters, so hard to fully get rid of! Phew!

Take care & nice to hear from you,
Rach x
chikakat
Returning Cat Chatter
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 4:55 pm

Re: RIP Shadz x

Post by chikakat »

Many thanks for your kind reply Rach - you are right it does gets easier as days go - I have this lovely image of Shadow and Hachi playing together at the bridge and it makes me smile and cry at the same time.

Take care and good luck with getting rid of the fleas.
Post Reply