Crying

[Hannah1980]

I lost my gorgeous ginger cat at the end of August. After hearing about a cat being taken to a local vet after dying of a heart attack following a cat fight. I only found out for sure that it was my cat a few weeks ago as the vets were, to put it politely; useless. I contacted them many times and they were all aware that I was looking for my ginger cat (who I knew had been at the clinic from microchip details). After contacting head office I received an email and my cat had been taken for cremation at the end of September. I wasn't there for him at the end and I still feel that I don't have closure. My depression has been affected a lot by what happened to the point where I cant be in my flat without bursting into tears (I have been staying with my partner for weeks). I feel so guilty- my cat Jasper was my baby - I don't have children and lived alone with him. He was so affectionate and probably saved my life after I spiralled into deep depression after seeing my mum die of cancer three years ago. Jasper was only 4 years old and I used to dread anything happening to him. He really was my best friend and I am totally lost and whenever I think of him i can't stop crying.

After filing a complaint to the vets head office I received an email where I found out that my baby had been cremated (what makes it more upsetting is that I went into the vets several times and even asked a nurse to check cold storage). The vet that emailed me back offered to pay for a memorial for Jasper (as a goodwill gesture) but I haven't replied. I don't have his ashes and the thought of him being cremated with other animals upsets me. I do however have a pot of his whiskers that I used to pick up when I found them around my flat (am well aware that may sound odd!)

Currently the RSVS are looking into the case - I know it won't bring my cat back but I am so angry that they cremated Jasper knowing full well that I was looking for him. Sorry for waffling and that's for reading

[bobbys girl]

Oh Hannah,

I am so sorry you are going through this. It must be horrible for you and it's so unfair. I wish there was more I could do. But know that I am here for you, as we all are. Big ((HUG))x

Sue xx

[Kay]

I do so understand the desire to have a proper memorial for your Jasper

do you have a photo on your computer you could have enlarged and framed, so he can hang on your wall and be there whenever you look at it? - that is what I did when I lost my Trigger - I ordered a really large framed print to put above the wood burner, where it dominates the room, and I find it a great comfort

[AhmedUK]

There is no need to apologise for waffling - you are hurt, and you need to share your hurt.

Please feel free to continue writing how you feel on this forum, there are some lovely people here who have suffered pain too, and I am sure they'll be happy to give you a shoulder.

Hugggggs

[Hannah1980]

Thank you so much for the lovely replies. Still finding it difficult even thinking about Jasper without bursting into tears. I just can't believe he is gone. He was an amazing cat and helped me so much when I felt low. I just feel so stuck and lost without him. My main reason for keeping going was him after I lost my Mum. The pain at the moment is unbearable. I do have pictures of Jasper in my living room as he was a big part of my life. Right now just looking at a picture of him sets me off. Not sure if this is normal to feel so grief stricken. It's like I can't move on - losing my mum was heart breaking and I saw her pass away (she was only 58) but it was expected and I had time to prepare for it. I'm Not saying that losing my cat has been worse but the pain I feel is exactly the same

[Rachael_Shadz]

Hi Hannah, I recently only found out my missing cat had died after 6 weeks of searching for him. I was lucky enough to get him home to bury him but the guilt I felt for not being able to find him sooner & and the pain of his passing was awful, I'm still coming to terms with it now. What you have to remember is that a body is just a body and his spirit will be with you always. I still imagine by boy on his spot in my bedroom and I even talk to him, it makes me feel better. You will find what works for you but it takes time and everyone grieves differently. The ladies on here really helped me through. Here if you need me x