Goodbye my sweet angel

[Taryn]

Hi everyone,

Yesterday, at 11:00am, my heart broke into a million pieces when I had to say goodbye to my darling cat Sweetheart. He was only 12 years young, and had a larger than life personality.
He had severe heart disease, and suspected lymphoma for the past 8 weeks. He was monitored by a specialist cardiologist and oncologist - so was in the best possible hands and medication for this. On Friday, he started going downhill and didn't look content any more. I made the hardest decision of my life yesterday morning, and thought it would be a peaceful passing.
I took him to our local GP vet for this as they were the closest, but things did not go according to plan. Instead of sedating him first, he tried to put the (large) needle in his arm which made Sweetheart freak out and struggle to get away. The nurse then restrained him, which panicked him even more, and then his mouth was wide open gasping for air because of his bad heart and lack of oxygen. It took a few minutes before the vet came back with the sedative, and he was gasping the whole time. After that he became heavily sedated, and the final injection was administered.
I feel absolutely devastated, not only because I lost the love of my life, but how traumatic the last few minutes were for him because of the vet's incompetance. An absolutely soul destroying experience to watch happen to my beautiful boy. I am so sorry my Sweetheart...and dont ever think I will get over this...RIP my angel - I love you so so much xxxx

[bobbys girl]

I am so sorry. It is heartbreaking enough to lose you kitty friend like that, but the circumstances were just awful. He is at peace now and hopefully that will help you come to terms with his passing.

I had a little dog, Bonnie. She was my best friend for 17 1/2 years. Physically she was amazing for her age, but mentally - I think she had senile dementia. Life was not good for all of us and we decided to call the vet to the house. She was sitting in her favourite armchair when he gave her the injection. All was going well until the needle went in. Bonnie flinched and gave me a look that haunts me still. But when I remember the wonderful, long time we had together, it does help and I can smile at the happy memories.

I hope this is true for you. God Bless.x

[Taryn]

Thank you Bobbys Girl, your kind words mean a lot at this difficult time.

I am so sorry to hear about little Bonnie, but glad you had 17 1/2 long happy years with her. Its just an awful feeling when you've made the painfully hard decision to let them cross the rainbow bridge, only for them to feel stressed / uncomfortable in their last few minutes. I am trying to forget about the experience, but its still very raw so soon afterwards.

You are very kind and supportive to many people who post on here, which I am sure is much appreciated to each person you reply to. Thank you x

[JulieandBarney]

Hi Taryn.....I know it may seem like little comfort at the moment, but you gave Sweetheart a lovely life, full of love...those last few moments would be of little consequence to the care and devotion you gave, Sweetheart probably just panicked a little at something which was just unexpected, rather than feeling any pain or suffering at all, it would have been natural that she would wriggle around a little, that would have been all, she would have felt very little, as caring humans, we feel their upset far more than they can comprehend, and it hurts us far more....Sweetheart will be at Rainbow Bridge with all of the others, my darling boy 'CC' will be taking him around, along with Hamish, Millie & Jim, who passed to the Bridge just this last week..............run free Sweetheart, play happily at the Bridge...xxx

[Taryn]

Thanks for your supportive and encouraging reply to the post. Its all too easy to assume their thoughts and emotions are exactly like our own. Just wish it hadn't have happened like that. I didn't even want to watch him being put to sleep in the first place, but felt I had to be there for him.

Am sure he is having a wonderful time with 'CC' and the gang, and am really sorry for your losses too.

Wouldn't it be amazing to be able to catch a glimpse of Rainbow Bridge...just once xx

[JulieandBarney]

I would love to Taryn, I really would, ...I lost my boy almost this time last year, it was terribly hard to deal with the grief and guilt I felt then, but now I remember him with happiness, his little grave is outside our patio windows, I say hello to him every morning and I still feel his spirit nearby at certain times....x

[Crewella]

I'm so sorry, Taryn - that must have been horrible for you. (((hugs)))

As Julie says, though, it was probably far worse for you than for Sweetheart. You were painfully aware that these were his last moments, whereas he may have been distressed, but would not have known it was any different from countless other scary moments in his 12 years experience, and wouldn't have known that he wasn't about to go back in his crate to the safety of home, as after every other vet trip he'd known.

You've done your very best for him, and saved him from pain and suffering at the end of a happy life being loved and cherished by you. That's what matters.

Rest in peace lovely Sweetheart. No more pain. xx

[Taryn]

Thank you for your reply Crewella. It is really touching to get such needed support from fellow animal guardians, who understand the deep loss and uncontrollable emotions.

Forums such as these really do help. Much appreciated xxx