Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

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Michelle08
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Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by Michelle08 » Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:45 pm

We've just collected Sooty's ashes exactly one week since she passed away..it doesn't feel like a week at all. This last week has been a bit of a blur, although it still all feels slightly unreal, today I find myself being able to smile a little when I look at her pictures...I still find it hard to accept she's gone but I keep telling myself she just couldn't stay on this earth any longer. I'm very very lucky to have had her with me for so long. She made such an impact on so many people such a lovely little being....
Anyway she is now in my hall unit with a little black cat ornament sat on top..I found a small chunk of her fur today too so that was a happy moment & we've put the fur in the box where her ashes are...I think we'll buy a nice little keepsake box or ornament to keep her in soon.

I feel she is home now with me again & I'm slowly coming to terms with her passing although I have my very sad teary moments..my young son was upset at bedtime last night so I just held his hand & told him she is here with him when he cries...because that was exactly what she was like in this life, anytime she heard someone cry she went to their side to give them her affection...just as my childhood cat did, her personality was so much like my childhood cat, who lived until a similar age, that I was convinced it was her soul that had come back to me as it was only a couple of years after her passing that Sooty found her way to me...with that thought I hope she returns to us again & I'll know again its her back to share my life once more. Love you Soots thankyou for being such a loyal loving little friend xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Topcat10
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by Topcat10 » Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:10 pm

What a beautiful thought. :) (So beautiful that it requires a smile.)
TCs Dad.

Michelle08
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by Michelle08 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:58 am

I feel a little deflated this morning..It's hard to begin a new day knowing she isn't here. It will take time to feel half normal again I know..
but I hate waking up & feeling sad..mornings are the worst for me..Please tell me what you experienced when your cat passed on..If you feel upto it x

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JulieandBarney
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by JulieandBarney » Sat Mar 07, 2015 11:45 am

Hi Michelle

When I lost mt lovely boy 'cc' just over a year ago to cancer, my feelings were everywhere....guilt, grief, anger and a terrible sadness which overwhelmed me for weeks.....yes, mornings were always the worst, as I would wake up and initially forget that he was no longer with us, it was tormenting, then when it sank in, all those feelings woulflood back to me all over again....gradually I began to think of him with not only a tear in my eye, but a smile on my face too, though it was hard for some time at first...let yourself grieve, don't push Sootys memories away, I sometimes used to think I could see him popping his head around the post we laid for him in the garden, usually when I felt sad, worried or upset, because in life he always knew whenever I felt that way and used to comfort me with affection, so I liked to believe that his spirit was still with us...I found this poem out, which almost summed up how I felt....it does ease with time, but the memories never fade....xx

I stood by your bed last night
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.

I meowed to you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.

It's possible for me,
to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew
... in the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.

The day is over...
smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you,
there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out
...then come home to be with me.

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bobbys girl
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by bobbys girl » Sat Mar 07, 2015 4:28 pm

That is beautiful.

Michelle08
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by Michelle08 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 5:43 pm

Thankyou so much for taking the time to put in words the grief you felt. I feel exactly as you describe..Every morning reality floods back but I'm learning to cope better each day.. Doesn't really help being 35 weeks pregnant & knowing this child will never know her sweet little personality.

The poem is beautiful & I'll read it to my son when he gets sad..I tell him she is by his side. Thankyou again for sharing your lovely cat CCs sad passing with me xxx

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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by lily71 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:55 pm

Hi Michelle,

I was so sorry to hear of your loss.

I know what you mean about the mornings feeling the worst.
We had our lovely boy put down only a few weeks ago now and it does get easier with time; however I did have a good cry today when I went into the garden due to the lovely weather, because he loved the garden and would usually follow me into the garden to enjoy it with me and then he'd get brushies out there.

I think the mornings feel extra tough though because we're used to them waking us up, or being the first thing we see, speak to, cuddle....During sleep we have some respite from the pain and sadness so when we awake, we remember immediately that they're no longer there.

It will get easier Michelle, trust me. You gave Sooty a lovely life and she is home now.
Our boy's ashes are home too which is somewhat comforting actually, don't you find?

All of us on this forum know exactly how you feel and I have my ups and downs and this forum always helps.

RIP beautiful Sooty.
You know where we are Michelle xx

Michelle08
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Re: Sooty's ashes...We brought her home today

Post by Michelle08 » Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:05 am

So sorry to learn of the sad loss of your boy too...it is very comforting to know others understand on here. I do also find some comfort now I have her ashes home. I never thought I would miss her so much.. at first I found it unbearable to even tell anyone she had gone.

I think I will be hanging around here for some time yet..what was your boys name, was he an oldie like mine?

I'm so glad I found or maybe was sent to this forum...maybe she realised I'd need a little help xx

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