Our Abby

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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shell12261972
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Our Abby

Post by shell12261972 » Sat Mar 14, 2015 11:46 am

My son and I lost our precious Abby just three days ago, she was 8 ½. She showed no signs or symptoms of being ill in any way. I had went to the store a short distance from our home and a short time after I was gone I received a hysterical call from my son that Abby had died. She had been laying with him on his bed in his room and he said she just squirmed and tried to get up a couple times and fell over. He picked her up and ran crying to my mother who lives with us holding her and crying out what to do. I rushed home to find her already gone and he had laid her on the floor and covered her with a blanket that he kept from the passing of my father. He said this all took place within minutes. We are so devastated and heartbroken. I don’t know how to help him, I didn’t even get to say goodbye and I have so much guilt and pain for my son and myself. She was his best friend.

shell12261972
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Re: Our Abby

Post by shell12261972 » Sun Mar 15, 2015 12:49 am

I really dont understand how I can have 33 views and not one single reply or advice on anything. I thought this was to help.

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Janey
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Janey » Sun Mar 15, 2015 6:58 am

Hi, I am so sorry for the loss of Abby, that must have been devastating for you all, especially given that you never knew anything was wrong. I have heard of this happening before - I wonder whether it was a heart issue which couldn't have been predicted? Did you speak to your vet afterwards? I would definitely do that if you've not already done so. We lost one of our cats tragically and I went to see to my vet to talk it through and this really helped. It is natural to feel guilt and pain, please try not to though you obviously loved your cat very much and it sounds like you could never have known what was wrong.

Sorry that you had no replies to your post so far, weekends are typically very quiet on here so although many people may read the threads, very few of those will probably be posters.

Take care.

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Kay
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Kay » Sun Mar 15, 2015 10:28 am

the shock of such a sudden passing is very hard for you both - when a much loved pet is ill for a while there is time to become reconciled, as much as one can, to their passing, and then there is the knowledge that they are no longer suffering

you don't say whether you have had Abby cremated, or buried her, but either way a formal marking of her death might help both of you - a plant, a special pot, a little prayer or reading a poem, a memorial stone, having a photo enlarged and framed to put up on the wall, a dedicated photo album to her - it is a significant event in your lives when you have to say goodbye to a beloved cat, and should be marked as such

nothing will stop you hurting, but talking with your son about her, sharing your memories and your grief, commemorating her together, will surely help

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bobbys girl
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Re: Our Abby

Post by bobbys girl » Sun Mar 15, 2015 11:45 am

I'm sorry to hear of Abby's sudden death, such a shock for you and more so for your son.

Something similar happened to our Cassidy. He was missing for a couple of days, but when we found him he was under the trailer (parked next to the house) curled up as if he was asleep. Our vet said it was probably a sudden, massive heart attack and that he wouldn't have known much about it. That did give us some comfort.

I think Kay is right about having some kind of memorial. We have small memorial stones and special plants to mark their graves and a montage of photos of all our cats, past and present smiling down on us in the hall.

Please don't think that we don't care, we do! But as Janey said weekends can be quiet post-wise. Yesterday I was making the most of the good weather here and worked outside most of the day, just dipping onto the site during a break.

My best wishes to you and your son. RIP sweet Abby. x

Michelle08
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Michelle08 » Sun Mar 15, 2015 10:15 pm

Hi can ask how old your son is? My son is 6 nearly 7 & our cat got ill very quickly just in one day that same day I had her put to sleep..It was so hard for me to tell my son as he was in the waiting room. She basically had a stroke then a seizure. While at the vets in the waiting room my son saw her have the second seizure..we thought she would have a little longer with us but sadly I had to say goodbye there & then.

I couldn't tell my son until the next morning, I had told him she had been made comfortable & was sleeping but wouldn't be getting better. As soon as he woke up he asked to see her, I then held him tight & told him..I'll never forget the sadness he showed. It was a horrible week for us all but that was now just over 2 weeks ago...we brought her ashes home, had a lovely plaque made & he seems to have settled down a little..until tonight. So I read him a poem that someone kindly sent me on here to let him know she's here with him & we've looked at some pictures..although its really awful to see them upset I do think you have to let them grieve in their own way too with your reassurance. I thank my lovely Sooty cat for teaching my son how to deal with death as this is his first experience..I still get sad but each day is a little more bearable & as I type my boy is doing what is making him feel better..putting a picture of her on his bedroom wall..yes we've had tears again tonight but he's doing ok :)

Hope you've come back on to read your messages of support these people here have helped me so much x

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Fran_ki
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Fran_ki » Mon Mar 16, 2015 12:40 am

Shell im so so sorry to hear about wee Abby. :(
It's very hard to come to terms with the passing of any pet , but must be especially hard when it's so sudden and unexpected.
We lost our wee 16 month old kitten in November and it was truly devastating . He was in hospital for a week in August then got better or we thought he had then took Ill again November and back into hospital then the next few days he got worse.
I've no kids myself but wish I could give your wee boy a cuddle , the wee soul must be heartbroken.
Bringing Abby into conversation now and again may help, chat about the funny things she did and your favourite memories.
It may help if you let him do a wee collage or as Michelle mentions a picture on the wall , maybe an A4 with favourite photos stuck on and things like that ?
I know it's all very very raw and not a lot I can say will make it easier but take it day by day.
Abby is running about at rainbow bridge now and she'll have lots of wee friends up there, I truly believe that.
I put a wee tribute on the memorial page here for our wee Kenzie and that helped.
Hugs to you and your son xxxx

shell12261972
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Re: Our Abby

Post by shell12261972 » Mon Mar 16, 2015 10:49 am

Thank you everyone. My son is a teenager, but very sensitive and Abby has been with him for 9 years through alot of rough times and this is his first encounter with any type of death of a loved one that he was old enough to understand. As for me I am trying to be strong but struggling to get the bad images and thoughts off my mind.

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Walesgang
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Walesgang » Mon Mar 16, 2015 11:31 am

Hi Shell

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Abby.

I am also sorry that it appeared that a lot of people looked at your post but did not comment.

There are a number of possible explanations for that - some people may look and then go away and think about what they are going to say to offer comfort. I think that also because it is an open forum sometimes posts appear to have been read by someone, when in reality it wasn't.

This is a really friendly forum, and most of us have been through the pain of losing a cat at some stage.

If its helpful to you, I can relate to what your son is going through. I had a cat as a child/teenager who was my solemate. I loved him more than anything or anyone. He died suddenly of kidney failure. I thought I would die too. But, in time, I did get over his death. It wasn't easy, and the loss of subsequent cats haven't been. But time is a great healer. Let your son talk about Abby, and maybe "do" something for her. I have always gathered photos and picked my favourite which I have bought a special frame for to remember the cat in a way I want to - happy, alive and positive.

My thoughts are with you and your son at this painful time.

RIP Abby - play hard at the Bridge xx

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Crewella
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Crewella » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:49 pm

I'm so sorry you lost you Abby, ans in such circumstances. Time does heal, but the grieving process is importants so you need to go through it at your own pace. (((hugs)))

Rest in peace little Abby. xx

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SarahT1 [PLLE]
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Re: Our Abby

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Tue Mar 17, 2015 9:34 pm

I am so sorry too for the awful experience you and your son have had. How heartbreaking. it will be hard to come to terms with, but eh pain will eventually not be so harsh. Something to celebrate Abby's life and to remember her would help I am sure.

RIP darling girl. XXX

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SarahT1 [PLLE]
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Re: Our Abby

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Wed Mar 18, 2015 6:58 am

Oh yes, when numbers of views are listed it includes robot views and clicks which are search engine clicks and not real people so it can be deceptive. I quite understand how upsetting it must have been been to think that 33 people were resting your message but not caring enough to respond. ((Hugs)) xx

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bobbys girl
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Re: Our Abby

Post by bobbys girl » Wed Mar 18, 2015 8:28 am

Hi Shell,

sorry to hijack this thread, but Sarah has said something interesting about the 'viewing' on here.
SarahT1 [PLLE] wrote:Oh yes, when numbers of views are listed it includes robot views and clicks which are search engine clicks and not real people so it can be deceptive.
Hi Sarah, when I look at the bottom of the page and it says bobbys girl and 'guest', is that someone piggy-backing my computer? I'm having some gremlin problems at the moment. Avast tells me everything is OK, but I feel I'm being watched - not paranoia, just something running in the background. Any ideas?

Once again Shell sorry for the hijack.

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Crewella
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Re: Our Abby

Post by Crewella » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:36 am

I believe a 'guest' is someone browsing the forum who hasn't opened an account or signed in, so it's nothing directly to do with you.

Not all that up on 'pooter problems, sorry. Good luck!

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SarahT1 [PLLE]
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Re: Our Abby

Post by SarahT1 [PLLE] » Fri Mar 20, 2015 3:17 pm

yes, that's right. Our posts are viewable by folk who haven't yet got their own account. When it says Yahoo or Bot that's a computer search engine. I remember Jacks (Sophie, Socksie, Lara's mum) mentioned this ages ago but I can't find the post. it might have been the old forum.

Shell - how are you and your son? XX

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