loss, how to cope?

[hays]

My youngest cat, only 15months, was hit and killed last tuesday morning. I dropped flyers through post boxes in my neighbourhood on saturday, and found out sunday that he'd been run over and taken to a vets.
he was so young, so loving, and I know its still fresh, but im struggling with my grief more so than in the past. Theres a void that my other cats cant fill, theyre more independent than he was, and i miss my cuddles and purrs.
my friends arent really understanding, they say 'shame' and then start chatting about the mundane things that are just general life, and normally id be joining in with that. At the moment i cant, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant do anything but sit with his blanket and cry.
he didnt have a chance at life, i didnt get a chance to spend years with him, he was just a baby. If anyone has any advice, i would appreciate any help i can get
hays x

[bobbys girl]

Dear hays,

Oh I feel for you. I understand completely. Bobby is the baby in our family, I love all our cats, but Bob is so special. Born with a disability, having to have a leg amputated, then finding out he is FIV+. Yet he is SO sweet and loves a cuddle. I know it would break my heart to lose him in that way.

Your friends there may not understand, but you have friends here that do.

RIP little one, play happily at the Bridge, 'til we meet again. ((HUGS)) to you. x

[hays]

Thank you so much for your reply, its really appreciated. Sometimes, its all you need to knowpeople understand.

Bobby sounds like a sweetheart, who you obviously adore. I hope he has many years left.

hays x

[Crewella]

I'm so very sorry - I lost one of mine to the road last year and I still miss her little face, though it is now bearable. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that his life might have been short, but you obviously loved him to bits and gave him a lovley life, which is so much more than many cats get.

I planted a flowering shrub in memory of my little Peaches, and it did help to focus on creating some sort of memorial for her. (((hugs)))

[hays]

I pick Rabbits ashes up next Wednesday, so i think i'll scatter them around a nice flowering plant. Thank you, its a really nice idea.
i feel a bit better today, knowing im not alone in grieving for a lost pet has helped. I dont feel 'silly' anymore. This site has helped and hopefully in time im going to smile when i remember his little quirks rather than cry.

[Walesgang]

I am sorry for your loss.

I lost Anna to the road when she was 20 months old.

She was the most gentle loving girl possible.

For all the fur babes I have lost, I have framed my favourite photo in a special frame where i can see it.

RIP Rabbit, play hard at the Bridge x

[Joanne_]

Sorry for your loss:( It is so hard. 6 months on and I still get upset about my two. I also found that the only friends I was able to truly confined in, were those who also had pets, others just did not understand.

[hays]

Thank you both for your replies.
Im sorry that youve both lost family pets too. My heart goes out to you, and youre right, no one truly understands the heartache unless they have their own pets. The messages from this site have helped, im so glad i found it.

xx

[Hannah1980]

I'm so sorry to read of your loss I lost my cat last August following a cat fight and he was 4 years old and I felt that he was far too young to go. 15 months is such a young age but as has been said before, you obviously gave him lot of love and an amazing home in that short time.

Oh how I understand the grief that comes with losing a cat - it is hard and it is a grieving process just like when we lose human family and loved ones. As for friends not being understanding, on the one hand it can make you feel angry (it did with me) but then I also have a strong belief that in order to understand fully how someone might be feeling then you need to have been through it personally - having said that, it doesn't stop people from showing a bit of compassion even if they don't understand.

Just a few months ago I called my older sister because I had a sudden wave of grief and needed to speak to someone and the first thing she said was (bearing in mind she could hear I was crying) "is this about your bloody cat?" I was gobsmacked considering that we are a family of animal lovers (however my sister can be pretty nasty to me at times, this being one of them)

I have to say, this site has been amazing since I lost my cat - people here completely understand how you feel etc because many many of the members here have been in the situation that you are sadly in now and as cat lovers and owners, we understand the love that you get from a cat and vice-versa.

I still cry for my cat and miss him lots but the pain and the intensity of my emotions have eased a little - I know everyone is different and people grieve in their own ways but if I could give one bit of advice it would be, if you ever feel really sad/struggling - type type type! I got myself into a bad state one evening and didn't know how to cope so I typed out a rather long post - it helped to write how I was feeling and the responses I got were so supportive.

[bobbys girl]

"is this about your bloody cat?"

Ouch! that must have hurt! I hope you know you can talk to us - any time. ((Hugs))

Sue