Traumatic and sudden loss.

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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SafJas
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Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by SafJas » Fri May 20, 2016 8:53 am

Friday 13th May 2016, was an extremely traumatic experience for me, I gave my consent to put my dear boy, aged 8, to sleep at 1 am, it was an awful decision to make, and I had nobody with me for support. I keep beating myself up, and asking myself "was this justifiable"? I have cried so much that I feel congested, and my ears feel blocked, as if I have a cold. I have not wanted to leave the house, unless absolutely necessary, I feel guilty about leaving my other cat, as she is missing her friend so much.
What was to be a happy retirement for me has turned into the saddest time of my life. My boy was beautiful, a Cinnamon Spotted Ocicat, I adopted him just before his 7th birthday, I was happier than I had been for a long time. I retired earlier than normal, I used to work at my local hospital in a very oppressive environment, and the shifts were horrendously long. I often felt guilty about my cats being alone for a long time, as I live alone. I wanted to make up for this by spending some quality time with my little friends in my latter years. (I 've not been without a cat for 36 years now.)
During the first 8 months of my retirement I was helping out an ex-colleague, but as he recovered from his surgery he became more aggressive and offensive, so after almost 2 years I had to stop this. I mention this because I now regret that this time was not spent at home with my cats, however, at this time I was unaware of the events that would unfold.
On 9th April, I had to rush my boy to the emergency vet, he had a respiratory emergency, he spent the night there, and the next day I brought him home. The vets suspected that he had hyperthrophic cardiomyopathy, he was prescribed Furosemide to prevent fluid from building up inside his lungs. I took my boy to my own vet for an ultrasound scan and this confirmed the suspicions. The Furosemide appeared to be effective, but then another respiratory event followed, this was at almost midnight on 12th May, I was awoken to the sound of coughing and rapid breathing yet again. The vets told me that they could try to treat the condition, or that I could consider euthanasia, but whatever I did the prognosis was poor. The walls of his left atrium were 3 X thicker than normal.
All in all he was with me for 15 months, I grew to love him very quickly, he slept on my pillow, he was the most loving and adorable cat one could wish for. I hurt so much.

Jamsie22
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by Jamsie22 » Fri May 20, 2016 2:33 pm

Safjas,

My thoughts are with you - My cat aged 9, died almost identically last October. I live alone too mostly and it is very hard. You can assure yourself your cat felt loved. I have a print collage of 3 photos of my cat beside by bed and it works well in terms of keeping memory of cat alive.

Be good to yourself - we can only do our best.

Take care,

Jamsie 22

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bobbys girl
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by bobbys girl » Fri May 20, 2016 3:34 pm

So very sorry to hear your news. If I could take away the pain I would. Just know that there are folks here that have been through the same as you and are here for you if you want to talk.

We lost our old boy Tommy just after Christmas. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. As time goes on the smiles of happy memories replace the tears of loss. There is definitely someone missing from the family - the others know that (Tommy was the peacemaker and keeper of order).

RIP little one. Fusses to your other cat and many (Hugs) to you.

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Kay
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by Kay » Fri May 20, 2016 4:05 pm

I was alone and without transport when my beloved Siamese collapsed fighting for breath early in the morning oon a Friday 13th many years ago - she died in my arms in a neighbour's car on the way to the vet - so I feel so much your shock and pain

It will pass in time, but you are among friends here while you need us

alanc
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by alanc » Fri May 20, 2016 7:51 pm

Very sad to hear of your loss. It is terrible when our cats die suddenly at a young age. I lost my cat Badger last year and still miss him though it as got better with time.

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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sat May 21, 2016 12:43 pm

On 31st March I took my beloved little black cat Armand, aged 11yrs,(we rescued him at 5yrs old) to our vet for his 'booster'. Mentioned a cough. My boy never came home, he died under sedation for his x ray which showed a tumour filling his little chest, pressing on his heart and a lung full of fluid. Apparently he had been walking a tightrope for weeks, could have died in a frightening and painful way (my vets words) at any time. I can now look back and be grateful he died in his sleep, breathing easily having been given oxygen. Exactly a week later, I took my beautiful, sweet natured, silver and white 8yr old cat, Cody to vets because of rapid weight loss. We had to have her pts on 29th April, a skeleton of her former self due to renal failure. I only mention this because, like you and many others, I grieved, felt physical pain, couldn't eat or sleep and relentlessly beat myself up with 'what ifs' and 'I wish I had...' The pain you feel is hellishly awful, but part of loving is grieving and you will get through it. Nothing anybody says right now is going to help, but please try and remember, you lead a normal, caring life, with all it's trials and tribulations, did what you thought was the right thing at the time. You loved and took care of your beloved boy to the best of your ability, showed your love by allowing him to be released from his pain. I don't pass on these words lightly, I too have had your work experience, hoped to spend a lot more time with Armand and Cody, can't believe that in March they were bouncing about the house and now they are gone, but as my husband said 'you are not God,you don't get to decide'. Harsh words at the time that now, in a strange way, help me. I wish I could take your pain away.

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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sun May 22, 2016 9:08 am

I am thinking of you and your boy today Safjas. Sending virtual hugs. Don't hesitate to post your feelings on this forum, it does help. x

SafJas
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by SafJas » Mon May 23, 2016 8:26 am

Thanks for all of the kind and supportive comments in response to my grief. The pain is easing, but I still have my tearful moments, especially in the morning. I have now put a framed picture up over the top of my bed, one that I took when my boy was sleeping on my pillow, I find this has helped me, even though it also makes me feel sad. Downstairs I have another framed picture in the hall, it's a close up of his face, and it's next to a similar one of my black cat that I lost only 20 months ago. I still feel somewhat uncomfortable leaving the house, and I worry about my other cat, as she is showing signs of her loss, going to the places that her friend used to frequent, I think that maybe in time a will get another cat to keep her company.
Last Friday I went along to my local RSPCA kennels, I have applied to do some voluntary work there, as I think this will help me, it's something I have been considering for a long time. I feel that living alone, with a very limited social life, has meant that the impact of what's happened has hit me harder, and I am going to try to redress the balance now. I have to stop myself from feeling guilty if I have a day out, after all I have never put my cats into a cattery on the few occasions when I have taken a holiday. I know I will recover in time, I just need to do this at my own pace and not feel ashamed to let my feelings go.

Thanks again to all, Safjas.

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Kay
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by Kay » Mon May 23, 2016 1:52 pm

Snap - I too live alone and have little human contact, so have just volunteered for the local branch of Cats Protection

It was nice to find someone who really wanted me!

Good luck for the future

Actorvist
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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by Actorvist » Mon May 23, 2016 5:13 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You ask if the decision was justiable or not. Let me say that you made the decision certain that you were making that decision out of love. Therefore trust that it was the right decision to make.

As for what happened before, you showed compassion for a human being who was suffering. That can't be a wrong thing to have done either.

All in all you sound like a loving, generous, kindhearted soul. Time will heal the loss.

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Re: Traumatic and sudden loss.

Post by Mayday21 » Mon May 23, 2016 8:04 pm

Hello Safjas I've just read your sad news & my thoughts with you. All posts including Kay & Bobbysgirl are what I would have posted. You will receive all the support you need to come to some form of acceptance. I too live alone & my fur babies meant & mean everything to me. I hated going on hols & leaving them especially as they got older so stayed home bar a weekend here or there. Go with your feelings don't suppress them & fuss over your other fur baby - they know believe me. And I joined up with a cat rescue organisation after I lost my darling girl Mayday & that was a godsend in being around fur peeps & peeps who are cat mad and understand. Vivian

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