Night time terrors

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issiandarchie+68
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Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Mon May 30, 2016 8:57 am

Some weeks ago I posted on this forum about the unexpected deaths of my beloved cats, Cody and Armand who sadly died within a month of each other. I was overwhelmed with grief, sank into depression and had to seek help from my GP. She gave me a short course of sleeping tablets which helped me fall asleep but didn't stop the 'night time terrors'. I try and keep busy, especially on my allotment and remember the good times but, I wake every morning around 5.30 a.m. with a churning gut, a brain like Mr Messy and weep bitter tears as the memory of their deaths seem as clear as if it happened yesterday. Armand has been gone 2months and Cody 1 month. We still have our big grey cat Gandhi, a great comfort, he is settling into being an only cat at nearly 12yrs old. Has anyone else experienced these 'night time fears?' How do I conquer them? Any advice will be received with gratitude.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by bobbys girl » Mon May 30, 2016 9:28 am

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I wish there was something I could say to make it go away. Problems always seem so much worse in the night. Who hasn't woken in the early hours and fretted over some problem, health, financial, family? In the light of day they don't go away, but they are more manageable.

If I get to feeling that way, I don't struggle to get back to sleep. I get up, make a drink and watch something like NHK (English language Japanese TV). There is always something interesting or distracting. By the time I have finished my tea, I'm usually sleepy again and the problem doesn't seem so bad. Well that's my way. The painful feelings you have will ease in time. Until then, you will have to find your own coping method.

Sending you big (HUGS)

Sue x

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Mon May 30, 2016 12:18 pm

Thank you Sue. If it happens tonight, I will try that. I did think about getting another cat, but at 68 (me) and 70 (hubby) it's not really feasible. Gandhi is a big cat with a big personality. We were very lucky that Cody chose us, she climbed up my hubby's trouser leg at the sanctuary, he lifted her onto his shoulder and home she came. No bother settling her in and her and Gandhi loved each other within 24hrs. It took a couple of months to settle Armand but they all got on really well together, I used to say they would amble into the kitchen together like a herd of cows called for the milking. We would never be that lucky again. Big Hugs received and gratefully accepted. xx

Issi x

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kay » Mon May 30, 2016 1:51 pm

I'm around your age and wouldn't hesitate to take on an older cat if I had room - around 10ish minimum - older cats are often overlooked in rescues and need people like us to take them on - and I suspect the challenge of rehoming a very shy or traumatised cat would be very good for you too

You don't have to become deeply bonded to provide a good home for another needy soul

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Mon May 30, 2016 2:57 pm

It's worth a thought Kay, my cat sitter works for Cats Protection and I have worked in the C P charity shop and seen the older cats featured for adoption. I'll give it a week or two though, before asking them for advice/recommendations. I'm exhausted and emotional just now, not a good time to make a decision.

Issi
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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Mon May 30, 2016 5:16 pm

Hi Issi. The last post I read on here a while ago was yours in the Overwhelming Grief thread. I read that twice and was happy that things seemed to be getting easier for you. I read it twice because I dont think I will ever get over the loss of my baby when she goes and it gives me hope reading other peoples stories.

All I know is - when my friend had to ahve her dog pts three years ago, I didn't think she would ever get over it. And yet, she got another rescue dog about a year after and it really helped her because this dog was very needy and my friend put all her energies into that animal and it did help her.

I would definitely consider getting another animal - an elderly one. I am so sorry you are going through this - my friend used to have panic attacks along with the churning gut. Now when I talk to her she can mention her departed dogs name without tears. I'm just saying this because unbelievably, it did get better. They break our hearts don't they. My thought are with you. xxx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:34 am

Hi Kris, I was actually thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were getting along, when up pops your post! Thank you for sharing the story of your friend, it helped to know I'm not alone. My sister 'phoned (she's in Yorkshire, I live in Glasgow) and told me she has suffered the exact same 'night time terrors' whenever she has lost a much loved person or pet and has assured me it will pass. She surprised me, she does of course have feelings, but has always been the 'nay lass, it'll be fine, just get on with life' strong member of the family. You are right Kris, our hearts do get broken and it has helped me make a decision. I will have to go through this again on our beloved cat Gandhi's demise, but frankly, I have reached an age in life where I want peace in my heart, I would never willingly put myself through this emotional pain again. My hubby says if it makes me happy, get another cat, but he has also said he adores Cody, Armand and Gandhi, they were/are very special individual personalities, but once Gandhi goes (hopefully not for a while yet) he's done. He too wants peace and a different life. We will of course, continue to support our local cat charity, our role is the provision of 'special' vet prescribed food for the ill fostered cats, and when we eventually move abroad, I will definitely be joining my friend in her work for the local rescue centre. Don't judge me, but it's for purely selfish reasons, we won't have another pet but I need cats in my life. Do me a favour though Kris, don't waste another precious minute worrying about your wee pet's demise, celebrate her life and the fact she loves you and you love her. We none of us know how we will react in times crisis, I didn't think I could ever 'make that decision' or bear to see the bodies of my cats, but I did,was very calm throughout, holding and kissing them goodbye, making sure they were wrapped in their favourite blankets, even though my heart was broken before and after. I must be honest though, I still lay awake in the night, cannot believe they are gone, mentally rail against the unfairness of it all, why them?? But that too will pass.
Take care
Issi
xx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:20 am

Hi Issi,

I totally get your decision. Me and my friend (this is the friend who I thought would kill herself after she lost her dog) were saying a few weeks back that we aren't going to get any more animals - not ones that stay with us for years, as we cannot stand the heartbreak. She lives in Spain now and her dog is ill and she knows she has to go through this all over again. I will only ever look after old cats because I just do not want that long term relationship again.

So I agree with your plans. We need cats in our lives - but for me, that heartache isn't worth it and there are other ways we can help them (and help ourselves). I am also planning a new life which helps - my other 18 year old baby (cat) is still going strong, but it will be the hardest thing Ive ever had to do when the time comes. We will manage! I keep telling myself that the main thing is, I am/was with my darlings right up to the end. I couldn't cope any other way.

All the best Issi. xxx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Mayday21 » Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:26 pm

Hi Kris & Issie I had the night time terrors for 3 mths when Mayday went waking at 2-3am & unable to go back to sleep. My Dr said that what I was going thru was "very normal & all part of grieving process." He gave me script for sleeping tabs as one can't function without sleep. And as I'm on my own didn't have anyone to talk to when awake. Thinking of you both & fusses to Ghandi. Vivian

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:34 pm

Thank you Vivian, I tried a short course of Diazepam but I still woke up 4hrs later, so knowing this is 'normal' has helped me. My beloved big (he's the size of a small dog!)grey cat Gandhi, is gently biting my hand to get me off the 'mouse' and draping his body over the desk, and takes all the loving dished out :). I gave him a special Vivian ear rub and kissed his wet nose, much appreciated. x

All the best for a happy future to you and Kris.x

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Mayday21 » Sat Jun 04, 2016 10:09 pm

Hi Issie I've been dreaming a lot of Mayday & even woke myself up calling her. And this is despite I've homed 3 fur babies. Two from Little Paws TC, (blue & white) who's adorable & affectionate, Snowflake elusive but a chatterbox & now 3mth Tuxedo stray handed into the vets where I volunteer. Harper after author of "To Kill a Mockingbird". TC's besotted with her & she him. Always spare hugs for fur babies like Ghandi. When I've time I'll post a pic they're too large to go atm. Vivian

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Tue Jun 07, 2016 2:19 pm

Hi Vivian, thought I would let you know I still wake with the 'churns' but have stopped taking the diazepam, now get up and get on with life, but last night was dreadful. Just before I fell asleep, I had a clear vision of my beloved Cody on her last morning as if it happened yesterday (it was 29th April) and had the most vivid dream of her sleeping on a corner of the bed, just by my feet as she always did. Armand slept on the other side, can't tell you how many times I got leg cramps because silly me didn't want to disturb the little pets. Anyway, in my dream, I ran in and out of the bedroom trying to persuade my hubby she was still alive, come look! I awoke with her smell and the feel of her soft body and fur on my hands, very upset. You have helped me cope though, assuring me it's a process of grief and I'm not alone in my dreams. Thank you.xx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:38 am

Hi Issie and Mayday,

I have all this to come. My 17 year old cat was pts last month but her death hasn't affected me all that much. Know that sounds bad but we were never really close. But my other darling, I am very close to. I am dreading it as know it will be the most challenging time of my life. I feel so sad for you and everyone else that has to go through this. I never actually want this close relationship ever again. Love to you both. xxx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Crewella » Fri Jun 10, 2016 1:44 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, but just wanted to add that I do the same as Sue when I wake in the night with 'the terrors' - get up, make a cup of tea and do something like come on this forum to take my mind off it before trying bed again. It will pass eventually, but you need a strategy to get through it before it does.

I have always found it helps to get another cat to focus on, but I completely understand why that might not suit everyone. There are certainly plenty of older cats outthere that need homes, but if you really feel that you don't want to form another close bond with a cat, maybe you might consider short-term fostering? It's hard when you have to give them up again, but it helps enormously to know that they are going off to a loving, forever home and that you helped by giving them a place to stay until that home could be found. Sometimes just having somewhere to go can literally save their lives. You then get some feline company from time to time without the deep emotional bond.

I hope you are feeling better.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sat Jun 11, 2016 10:40 am

Thank you Crewella, I am feeling better now, sleeping, still get 'the churns' but not as bad. I had an unexpected weep when I was telling Shaz about the cremations. Oh how I miss them, the house is so quiet, my husband is lovely, a busy man but a dour Scot, doesn't chat. We still have our much loved cat, Gandhi, but honestly Crewella, I am so bored. I do have a life, a few friends, not one of these retirees who sit and watch daytime telly, but it fitted around my work in Cats Protection, PDSA shop etc. and of course, the taking care of, constant welcoming chatter and presence of Cody and Armand. I have spoken at length to my hubby about adopting/fostering but he is adamantly against it. Even my lovely cat sitter, who works for Cats Protection rehoming section, reckons Gandhi too big a cat in personality and matched with his muscular body (7kgs) it would take a very feisty cat to enjoy life with him. We were very lucky with tiny Cody, she was delicate but not afraid of him, loved each other within 24hrs. Gandhi gave poor wee timid Armand a hard time, he lived safely in the dining room for 2 months, before being accepted. Armand turned into a very lively, funny, chatty cat, but occasionally I would have to snap my fingers at Gandhi if I spotted him herding the wee lad into a corner, although he never hurt him. It saddens me,but there will be no more cats living here once Gandhi has gone. I think, although very loving towards us and given loads of attention, Gandhi misses cat company too, but what can I do? x
Issi

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Crewella » Sat Jun 11, 2016 1:41 pm

I'm glad you're feeling and sleeping a bit better. In my experience, life has a funny way of working things out - you don't need to make any big decisions right now, just keep going and putting one foot in front of the other. Gandhi will settle, at at least he gets to enjoy more of your attention at the moment. xx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Wed Jun 15, 2016 10:16 am

Hi all you lovely, supportive people, I've just popped on to say that yesterday was the first day since 31st March I did not shed a tear and today was the first morning I awoke after a good night's sleep without a churning stomach. I can't properly express my gratitude for all your reassurances in my time of heartbreak. I still miss my wee cats very much, when cutting up a cooked chicken breast for Gandhi's lunch yesterday, I heard a noise and without thinking I looked down at Gandhi and said 'oh.. here comes the wee geezer, wanting his share'. A sharp pain shot through my heart, in that brief moment, they were still alive, I could almost touch them. Tomorrow, we have to go back to the Vet. Gandhi is having a thorough health check, he has bowel problems, and his bear like sharp claws clipped. We have decided on a move to Spain to start a new life and we need to know if 11yr old Gandhi will be fit to travel. Of course it all depends on Brexit referendum, and lots of other things. Spain could decide to shut it's borders and/or bar us from access to it's excellent Health service etc. Breath easy, I'm not getting political, but unfortunately,the way we live our lives is always partly down to other, stronger forces. Whatever decision we make, our beloved Gandhi's health and happiness will always come first.

Issi

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Wed Jun 15, 2016 11:26 am

Hi Issi. My friend has been living in Spain for around three years and wants me to go over there. Im not sure how I would cope with the heat (yesterday it was 40c in Spain where she is) and I wouldnt take my old girl anyway as she is 18 and a half. But when my Oody has gone - I am going out for a holiday to see what I think. Make sure you have air con!! Spain sounds like a better way of life - far cheaper rents and property prices, unlike here (I am really into the Referendum by the way). She is in Coin - let me know if you will be moving anywhere near there and maybe I can put you in contact with her if you want to.

After I had Tezzy pts a while ago - I did just what you described in your post. Just for fleeting seconds, I forgot she was gone. I would be waiting for her to come and sit on my lap as soon as Oody jumped on me - as soon as I lay down they were both on my lap fighting for space. I don't get that feeling now - and its only been a couple of months. Listening to your progress gives me hope. My Oody will want me to be happy when she's gone, they all do - but it's hard isn't it. Glad you are making progress. You might go downhill again if you're anything like my friend - but according to her those times get fewer as time passes. Stay in touch wont you.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Thu Jun 16, 2016 1:27 pm

What a lovely post, thank you Kris. Yes, I do know what you mean about relapses. We live in a large Victorian tenement flat, all doors leading onto big hallway so you can see in to kitchen across hall from living room for instance, and the other night,I was sitting quietly, watching tv not thinking about much, looked across and just saw a vast empty space. A vision of Cody and her determined little walk from room to room popped into my head and unbidden salty tears flowed, I didn't stop painful sobbing for over 1hr, now I know what is meant by 'keening'. Poor hubby didn't know how to comfort me. But I have to admit, I haven't cried for 3 days and I can talk about them now, good memories. Took Gandhi for a check up at Vets today, so far in perfect health, says he's arranged pet passports etc many times and thinks the move a grand idea, lots of his 'patients' done it. Surgery quiet, so we talked about Armand and Cody's demise. Vet lovely, explained last year he had a cat, good health, suddenly fell ill over 2 days, tumour in bowel, pts. He reckons Cody's good looks came from being part Siamese and her kidney failure genetic, nobody but bad luck and nature to blame, even if we had detected it some time ago, she would have been/was miserable on meds and outcome still the same. He said Armand, having come to us with near fatal illnesses, was lucky to live in good health for another 5yrs and simply drew natures short straw. We both agree, cats too well looked after these days, organs not designed to last 20yrs but some cats do,some don't. Anyway, I will keep in touch but will post on general chat.
Issi
Last edited by issiandarchie+68 on Mon Jun 20, 2016 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Thu Jun 16, 2016 4:26 pm

Hi Issi. I just had to look up the word "keening" as never heard of it before. Poor you. I kp saying to myself that my cats want me to be happy when they have gone but the real test for me will be when Oody goes as she is the love of my life and I never ewver want to feel this way about an animal again. Ever! I have been concerned about Oodys teeth - she was 18 in Jan this year so I don't want her to have an anaesthetic (Ive even looked into getting a specialist in this area but I cannot risk it - not after my Tezzy had to be pts after her dental). Anyway I have found this product called Logic that apparently breaks down tartar. Great reveiws on Amazon. Mentioning this cos wish I had used it years ago and might be something others want to look into.

Oh is my email showing here - will have to check that - I get sidetracked so if you email me and I don't answer - I have missed it unless I get an email alert so don't think I'm ignoring you. Yes of course we could be friends. You will like my friend in Spain - we are both animal mad and she is the one I thought wouldn't survive after her dogs death. She was keening too. Awful. Now she has a rescue dog who has tumours and is bereft again knowing she will lose her at some stage. Stay in touch and let me know when you move to Spain and if you want her details. Email me too. What part of Spain are you moving to - do you know?

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Fri Jun 17, 2016 10:41 am

Hi Kris, your e-mail address is not 'on view' anywhere. It just says on your profile 'send e-mail to Kris35' no address given.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Mon Jul 11, 2016 11:14 am

I thought I would share my feelings with all you lovely, supportive people. You were wonderful when I was in the depths of despair, uplifting, comforting and understanding. Well, surprisingly, our beloved Gandhi (the Velcro kid) is thriving as an only cat, but he is getting on in years so perhaps he's enjoying the peace and quiet. I still have stomach churning moments when a flash of Cody and Armand's last days come into my mind, but I have learned to acknowledge them for what they are, missing them and saddened at their absence. I still take an antidepressant each evening which helps me sleep but doesn't numb me, I feel all the human emotions but the trapdoors have shut on the bats in the belfry. Over the weekend 3 of my grandchildren came down from Aberdeen to visit. When they left, the house seemed dreadfully quiet and I had that hollow feeling inside of me, a cat and children shaped holed, but I only shed a little tear, and that was when I was watching Shirley Valentine reciting her ' I have led such a little life' bit. Today, I took out my camera to look at the photos taken over last 3 days and came across lots of all 3 cats when we first adopted them 7yrs ago...and I SMILED...actually SMILED! I was able to see how well they had come on in our care, how much fun they had running rings around us, Cody especially loved to pull all the bath towels down and then peek out, looks like we have wrapped her in them, but we never did, she just loved it. But as well as joy, I felt a little sad as it made me realise my guilt has been misplaced, my memories of Cody and Armand's mercifully short final days colouring their wonderful lives. Those joyous, healthy little creatures were not the cats we said goodbye to, it was their time to depart and we give thanks for a wonderful, compassionate Vet. Today I told my hubby that when we move house next year, I am going to make and frame a collage of my pets through the years. Quite something for me, I am not a great one for taking and hanging photographs. But how wise you all were, you told me it would get 'easier' although I admit the future seemed very bleak, I'm glad I listened, took your advice. Yes, I still miss them, sometimes it's a physical pain, but happy memories are beginning to surface and find a forever home in my heart. The sadness? Well, It's too exhausting to try and keep it out. When it overwhelms me, I let it in, look and acknowledge it, send it on it's way, knowing it will return many times but grief is the price we pay for having loved. It is but a lodger, eventually I will terminate it's lease.

Issi

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Mon Jul 11, 2016 11:59 am

Issi, what a wonderful post - thankyou so much for writing it. It gives me hope for when my darling passes over - which Im dreading of course. It's nice to read of the progress (good and bad) so I know what's coming. Thanks again. xxx

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by bobbys girl » Mon Jul 11, 2016 1:30 pm

What very wise words Issi. The grief still catches you when you least expect it, but I like the idea of it being a lodger.

We have a large photo frame that I have filled with a collage of cats (and dogs), past and present. They are all funny or cute pictures. In one OH is kissing the top of Purdy's head and she has a smile from ear to ear. They make me smile every time I look at them.

In time I will add a photo of Kafka sitting on OH's head - it reminds me of Terry Pratchet's 'Duck Man'. In time, not just yet.

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:46 am

Kris35 wrote:Hi Issi. My friend has been living in Spain for around three years and wants me to go over there. Im not sure how I would cope with the heat (yesterday it was 40c in Spain where she is) and I wouldnt take my old girl anyway as she is 18 and a half. But when my Oody has gone - I am going out for a holiday to see what I think. Make sure you have air con!! Spain sounds like a better way of life - far cheaper rents and property prices, unlike here (I am really into the Referendum by the way). She is in Coin - let me know if you will be moving anywhere near there and maybe I can put you in contact with her if you want to.

After I had Tezzy pts a while ago - I did just what you described in your post. Just for fleeting seconds, I forgot she was gone. I would be waiting for her to come and sit on my lap as soon as Oody jumped on me - as soon as I lay down they were both on my lap fighting for space. I don't get that feeling now - and its only been a couple of months. Listening to your progress gives me hope. My Oody will want me to be happy when she's gone, they all do - but it's hard isn't it. Glad you are making progress. You might go downhill again if you're anything like my friend - but according to her those times get fewer as time passes. Stay in touch wont you.
Hi Kris, I have been reading your posts (and Vivian's) again this morning. You bring such comfort.Yesterday, me and hubby went house hunting in Largs. As you are aware, our plans to relocate to Spain have been blown out of the water by Brexit, but we still need to move. I think someone I know..eerr..if only I could remember her name .. told me she had voted 'leave' :) .. but decided we have the best of all worlds in Glasgow. Anyway, thought of Cody and Armand fondly, no tears, slept very well for the first time in months, but today,on waking, before my brain got into gear, I felt Armand asleep on my feet, heard the soft thump of Cody landing on her morning place of the bedroom sofa (it was Gandhi). Reminded myself to move softly so as not to tumble my wee boy off the bed. Suddenly,my last moments with him barged like a mindless hooligan into my conscience. I didn't know he was dying, I always cradled him in the crook of my arm at the Vets, thought nothing of it. We had to take the top off his carrier, could never get him out through the door, but on gently lowering him back in, he was so still, I thought I could smell pee. I know there is nothing I could have done, with hindsight, I realise his organs were shutting down. Lovely Vet, assured me he was given a relaxant (not PTS) and was breathing easy with oxygen when he died. I am also grateful that while LV was getting the paperwork ready for his X-ray, I stroked Armand's still silky fur, told him I loved him so very much, not to be frightened, he would be home soon, how very proud I was of him .. but today my wee boy's plaintive yeowl as I turned to leave him is piercing my heart. Logic tells me Armand was 'lucky', he was in excellent, compassionate hands, had been walking a tightrope for weeks, could have died horribly, drowning in his own fluids, fits, a painful heart attack, at any time,too horrible for words. But oh dear God, today I miss Armand and Cody so very very much. Although.. another memory of him as just made me smile, he had very delicate, tapering legs and paws, walked in such an elegant way. For over 5yrs I delighted in how he used to roll about on his back, waving his little paws in the air, but when he heard me laugh, he would jump up, give himself a vigorous shake, grumble loudly and then go charging off. He also used to charge like a bat out of hell all over the house after using the litter, never did discover why, bless his wee body. :) xx

Issi

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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Sat Jul 30, 2016 7:40 pm

Issie - isnt it awful. My two friends were like this when the loves of their lives (cat adn dog) passed over. It would hit them like a ton of bricks. What helped them also, was not just getting another animal, but also making more human connections. I don't mean nights out with friends - I mean really bonding with other people and having them in their lives. Know Ive said this before - but they were both suicidal and I never thought they would get over it. Nowadays they have the same feelings towards their new companions and dread the day they pass over. I have all this to come I know. I know just thinking about my old girl going gives me panic attacks. I feel for you and anyone else going through this - but if my two suicidal friends can love again on that level - so can we (although I don't want to love like that again and will rehome old cats in the future - if I get through it that is).

I feel so sad for you. But you WILL get there. *hugs*. xxx

issiandarchie+68
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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:06 am

Thanks Kris, your kind words comforted me. I don't have a problem bonding with people, thank goodness, in fact it's the opposite, fending them off. My hubby knows when I say 'I'll be back in 1hr', I really mean 2hrs or more. Says I can talk about the price of mince to anyone. BUT what you say about connecting with people makes complete sense. In my grief, I have become withdrawn, not answering texts or invitations for a quick coffee, spending far too much time alone in the house, with just beloved Gandhi for company, neglecting my allotment and the easy companionship of like minded people. My hubby is always on the go, gets on with life, has offered to spend more time at home with me, but I know I have to sort this out myself. Although I have lost pets in the past. I was much younger then, had a very busy job and a family to raise. Now I'm retired, it's been far too easy to sink into inertia, let my mind go into whirlpool mode. My sister lost her husband, eldest grandchild and her dog all within a very short space of time. She told me she too would have the same waking dreams, feel the panic,shed tears, I suppose it's inevitable. She said to me there have been many chapters in our lives and this is yet another one, a door has closed but life hasn't ended. Being able to 'talk' about my relapse on this forum has been a tremendous relief. The good memories are starting to take over, I can smile at the reminders of Cody and Armand's antics, enjoy spoiling Gandhi something rotten. Incidentally, hubby still offers to welcome 2 older cats into our home on Gandhi's demise, don't know if I will take him up on that, nice thought though,a lifeline.

Big hugs from me and wet nose kisses from Gandhi

Issi
xx

Kris35
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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Kris35 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:11 am

Hi Issi,

My two friends are loners like me - we all find it difficult to bond with people and make true friends. We are also all single - so, very much alone. I lost cats when I was younger but because I had boyfriends it never hit me as hard. Keep us posted wont you - it really does help to share on here and tell stories about our babies. Ok my old girl is demanding an al fresco lunch - gotta dash! xxx

issiandarchie+68
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Re: Night time terrors

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 4:46 pm

Kris35 wrote:Hi Issi,

My two friends are loners like me - we all find it difficult to bond with people and make true friends. We are also all single - so, very much alone. I lost cats when I was younger but because I had boyfriends it never hit me as hard. Keep us posted wont you - it really does help to share on here and tell stories about our babies. Ok my old girl is demanding an al fresco lunch - gotta dash! xxx
Well, forgive me for saying this Kris, I think you do bond with people. You obviously have a big heart and you were a wonderful support to me, a complete stranger. I am a Yorkshire lass but here in Scotland, we don't do the 'Southern English' thing of inviting people to dinner after chatting to them at the bus stop. Not a criticism, just different. Glaswegians will talk to anyone, it takes me ages to get down the street, but,although I count myself lucky in the few friends I have, I hate the expression 'circle of friends', sounds like the pox. I, and many people I know get a great deal of pleasure from daily chats and laughs with familiar acquaintances, don't always need to form a deep friendship, bare your soul. I like you honey and I will have you know I am very picky :). By the way, I have come off the nightly antidepressant. Apparently a side effect is weepiness and anxiety, I could get that from a bottle of Gin! Gandhi continues to thrive as an only cat, never been so well and I am coping, still miss my babies but look back with affection, nostalgia, at their sweet and loving antics. As my hubby said today, very special cats, but then we all think that about our pets don't we.. because they are. xx

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Mayday21
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Re: Night time terrors

Post by Mayday21 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:09 pm

Hi Issie your comment "a door has closed" took me back to mum's funeral. I did the service sheet & I read this "a page is turned, a chapter finished, a life well read." I often apply this to Crystal, Mayday & Elsa's passing. My kitten Harper & 1yr old TC & 2yr old Snow Girl are a delight but Mayday will always be very special to me as she was my first pet I had from a little kitten to 21+ years. Also mum & dad thought she was a "lovely girl". I too am a bit like Kris .. A loner but I do enjoy people's company & have found I am very good at entering new environments & experiences - this site for example. Sorry about you having to stop your travel plans- you could always come to Australia!! :D Hugs to Ghandhi. Vivian

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