Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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snootycow
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Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by snootycow » Fri Jan 27, 2017 8:12 pm

Ernie didn't come home all day on Wednesday, so we drove around looking for him yesterday morning and found him dead by the roadside, barely 3 weeks before his 2nd birthday. I can't bear the thought that our sweet, gentle baby boy may have died a horrible slow painful death and it's eating me up. His brother Eric (the cat in my avatar) is pining away for him too.
Our first cat disappeared before she was even a year old never to be seen again, our 2nd lived to the ripe old age of 12 but we've never lost one so suddenly before and it's very shocking.
Can anyone recommend any good books for coping with the loss of a pet?

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bobbys girl
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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by bobbys girl » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:59 pm

I'm so very sorry to hear about Ernie. What a terrible shock for you. I do know how that feels, I found my darling Tommy the same way, probably only minutes after it happened. It is etched on my mind.

I don't know of any books that might help, but I do know there are plenty of us here that have been through the same thing and are here for you if you want to talk.

Sweet little Eric will get over it with fusses from you. My boy Bob really missed his adoptive mum, Lily when she disappeared (we still don't know what happened to her), but he came round in time.

((hugs)) to you and fusses to Eric.

Sue x

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by CassieCat » Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:51 pm

Hello ..

Although I have frequented this forum on a regular basis, I have only these last few minutes registered upon seeing your post.

First of all, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I too have lost one of my beloved cats by RTA so I understand completely what you are feeling.

A very kind friend, who herself had lost a beloved dog, sent me a booklet entitled 'losing a pet' (Coping with the death of your beloved animal) by Jane Matthews. Although I cried and cried on reading it, it was very therapeutic and I would recommend this to you. It is very normal to grieve over a pet we have loved and who has loved us back and we go through all the emotions in the grieving process. This forum is wonderful in respect of like minded people who are not judgemental towards our feelings.

I do hope you manage to get hold of this booklet. On the back page it does say visit www.smallbooks.co.uk but I have had this for some years. You will be in my thoughts.

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snootycow
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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by snootycow » Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:32 pm

Thank you both for your kind words and i'm sorry for your losses. I'll check that book out Cassie, i'm stunned that you registered just to reply to me, thank you. EDIT; I just found it on Amazon for the Kindle!
I feel like i've done nothing but cry since we found him, today I got the hoover out and had done the landing and got 3/4 of the way downstairs before I realised why I was crying. You couldn't go anywhere near the hoover without Ernie begging to be hoovered, he'd follow us round getting in the way until you relented and gave him a good vaccuuming! So I spent 20 minutes blubbing, set hubby off weeping again and i've had a headache the rest of the day.

We waited a long time, and by 'long time' I mean like 7 years, after our last cat passed away before we felt ready, to get Eric and Ernie and we're just completely heartbroken by this loss.
Last edited by snootycow on Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by Mayday21 » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:40 pm

Hello Snootycow & sorry to read about your Ernie. I joined this forum as I was experiencing grief like nothing in this world on my Mayday's passing. People here helped me no end & ive kept my membership. Grief's a dreadful emotion & all I can say is go with your feelings & post whatever & whenever as you'll get support. Hope you take what I'm about to say in the manner it's meant to be - You found him & aren't left wondering what happened. RIP Ernie & have fun at "the bridge".

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by CassieCat » Sun Jan 29, 2017 4:12 pm

Hello again ...

So pleased you managed to get hold of the booklet and I hope it helps. When I read your first post I just felt I needed to help so I am glad I posted and it was successful.

As I mentioned previously and as everyone on this forum will agree, the grieving process can be very complex, going through all the emotions including anger, and 'whys' and 'if onlys'. I still get very upset when I think of what happened and how much I miss my cat's presence and expect I always will but he was very much loved and spoilt so he had the best life possible in his short years with me. I am sure your Ernie had a very pampered life whilst he was with you, take comfort from this.

Kind thoughts are with you x

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by snootycow » Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:03 pm

Thank you all again and hello Mayday21, sorry also for your loss, i think sometimes it's harfder to lose a pet because unlike losing a human in your life, which everyone else 'gets' with a pet there are few who do understand.

Ernie truly was the happiest kitty i've ever known, he'd run at you with his tail straight up in the air all excited and happy to see you and he'd play fetch if he was in the mood.... I do have a videon of him doing this but hubby spoiled it by farting at the end so it's not really for public consumption!! Jack, our last furbaby was a lonely soul and I always felt he missed out on a lot of things being the only pet in the house, so it had been our dream to have 2 brother cats together though over the last 18 months i'd often wished we'd brought the entire litter of 4 home with us!

I've always held the belief, whether wrong or right, that life can be quite stressful for cats that are unrelated in a multi cat household so i'm so worried about our little Eric now because I feel that, of the two of them, he's the least likely to take to a new cat should we seek to get a companion for him some way down the road. He's quite a dominant character without much of a tolerance level and can be a little envious but he loved his little brother, they snuggled together and washed each other and I don't want him to now miss out on all that now Ernie's gone.

Maybe i'm worrying prematurely? I know it's too soon to even think about getting another cat but i do have a tendency to worry about things that are way off. Hubby's doing his usual 'Nope. No more cats' at the moment because he's hurting just as much as I am and doesn't want to go through the heartbreak of falling in love with another kitty only to lose it.

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by CassieCat » Mon Jan 30, 2017 5:20 pm

I really do understand your heartache and concerns and I too debated whether to get another cat (although I already had two). I know it's hard, and your head and feelings are all over the place, but just take each day at a time. I was inconsolable too. Each cat is different, with their own idiosyncrasies and characters and some are more 'loving' than others or more 'needy' or more 'standoffish'. We love them for it! Everything is still raw at the moment and I know you can never imagine having a cat with the same endearment as your Ernie had. When the time is right, you will make the right decision and I am sure your partner will back you up on whatever decision you make. I decided to adopt not one, but two rescues, though unfortunately, fate dealt me another blow as just after Christmas last I year had to make the decision to say goodbye to one of my other longer residing cats who had been suffering from lymphoma - heartache all over again!! Unfortunately life isn't always sweetness and light is it?

Please don't beat yourself up about what happened. It is my opinion though, that it is not a good thing to bottle up emotions, so you are bound to have your emotional ups and downs. Once again, in my thoughts. Take care and God bless x

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by Mayday21 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:45 pm

Hi Snootycow re Cassiecat's post below, the universe will let you know when the time's right. When I lost Mayday, my avatar a very old girl 21+, a work colleague who's a Buddhist also helped me with my grief. There's a Buddhist temple near me & I spent every Sunday morning there for a good 5 mths - so calming & those who serviced the temple were so understanding. In posting this, feel that I may visit again.

Everything is still raw at the moment and I know you can never imagine having a cat with the same endearment as your Ernie had. When the time is right, you will make the right decision and I am sure your partner will back you up on whatever decision you make.

Take care Mayday.

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by Mrs Kane » Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:57 am

I'm really sorry for your loss.

I didn't want to go yet
I wanted so to play
perhaps I was too foolish
and now I cannot stay.

But I'll be with you all you want
Just keep me in your heart
And although you cannot stroke me
Of you, I'll be a part.

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by bobbys girl » Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:30 am

Oh Mrs Kane, that's lovely - I'm blubbing into my porridge!

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by Mayday21 » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:03 pm

Mrs Kane my eye liner is running!! You post the most beautiful poems. Vivian

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Re: Our beloved Ernie got killed on the road.

Post by Sammik » Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:05 pm

I feel your lose... I woke up this morning to find my beloved cat dead in the garden. The same as you all that keeps going through my head is did he suffer... I have no idea what killed him, but if it too was a car & there seems to be no marks on him to suggest anything else, he had tried to get home & neally made it - bless him. My condolsenses to you & your loss. xxxx

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