Absolute mess...

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
Josief
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Absolute mess...

Postby Josief » Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:37 pm

About this time last week my beautiful black and white boy Thomas was put to sleep.. He was just 6 years old and I had been told the previous Thursday that his blood results for his kidneys were extremely bad and that he needed urgent IV fluids for at least 2 days to have any chance...

The issue unfortunately was that he was a real stresshead at the vets, usually lashing out at anyone that came close if they tried anything too intrusive. I asked for them to try the IV because I couldn't do nothing, but within an hour of leaving him back at the vets she rang me to say he had really freaked out and that she didn't think it was fair to him to try again, bearing in mind his stress at being kept in and having any procedures done, with there being no guarantee that the fluids would help beyond his time in clinic. To add to this he would need to be sedated to even get the drip in which would impact negatively on his kidneys, plus he also had heart issues so they wouldn't be able to flush the fluids as vigorously as they would really need to. We discussed it at length and I brought him back home to think about whether to try again in the morning but she said that without treatment he probably had about a week... I read so much about kidney issues that night and over the next few days and all the success stories were for cats who had had the fluids. I just couldn't put him through that, and I couldn't just keep him hanging on bearing in mind he was off his food and I couldn't tempt him with anything, just to have a sudden and awful decline that would have caused him suffering and more stress within just a few days.

I lost my two previous cats in their teens to cancer and I had always told myself I would never put Thomas through the chemo that they had because of his temperament and the stress it would cause him and so after an awful night and another chat to the vet in the morning (she was so kind) I booked him in to see my usual vet on her return from holiday on the Monday evening to be put to sleep. She had treated him for all sorts of issues - we were already trying to balance his fussy food habits with his need for food that would reduce his high calcium levels so he was a regular visitor to her and she has known me and treated my previous cats for years - and I just needed to hear it from her too.

This has been so hard to deal with. He had been on and off his food for a couple of weeks, which had led to having to bloods done, but apart from that I wouldn't have known there was anything wrong. I am absolutely wrecked with sadness at missing him and this awful fear and guilt that I have done the wrong thing, even though I trust my vet 100% - she had always recommended trying something if there is any way she could see it would help and she said to me before he was put to sleep last week that whatever she does it has to be to give a quality of life that they wouldn't have without treatment, and with Thomas the stress would have meant he didn't have that quality.

I took so many photos over that weekend and he looks so perfect it is breaking my heart. I picked his ashes up two hours ago and he is back on the kitchen window sill which was his place.

I am sorry for the rambling long winded post. This site helped me so much after my persian was put to sleep back in 2009 - that broke me too but at least he had reached to good age of nearly 18. No-one at home seems to understand how I feel.

RIP Thomas. You really were a cat in a million
xx

alanc
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby alanc » Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:50 pm

Very sad to read of Thomas' death. I know only too well how you feel as 2 years ago today I lost my big softy cat Badger to cancer, he was only 5 years old. It is terrible to loose them so young and with little warning. It does get better with time.

Ali J
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby Ali J » Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:25 pm

Dear Josief

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful boy, Thomas. Your post was certainly not long winded, I can see how difficult it was for you and that you did all that you could to help him. You knew him best and what he could and could not bear. Just to let you know I am thinking of you at this time as I also lost my own cat last week as well.

God Bless

Ali

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Lilith
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby Lilith » Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:29 am

Hi Josie. Very very sorry to hear.

Almost 19 years ago I took my first Siamese, Jacinth, to the vet because she was off her food and I had a feeling that all wasn't well. I'd noticed very little change in her health, apart from being a bit thirsty, which I was keeping my eye on, of course. The vet found that her kidneys were shrunken and useless - but she could have dialysis. 'She'd hate that,' I said. The vet agreed. Jassy was 14.

I think you're totally right to have put Thomas's quality of life first. It's awful to let them go - awful for us, that is, but we've set that cat free from a useless body. You loved him in the right way. I hope one day you and Thomas will meet up again, hugs x

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bobbys girl
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby bobbys girl » Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:27 pm

You have my deepest sympathy. I lost MY Tommy just after Christmas 2016. There is not a day goes by I don't think about him.

Don't worry about the long post. You needed to tell his story, there's not a person here that doesn't understand that.

RIP sweet Thomas, until we meet again.

issiandarchie+68
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby issiandarchie+68 » Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:30 pm

Oh Josie my heart breaks for you and dear Thomas. You will be missing him dreadfully and it will be hard remembering his final hours but you mustn't blame yourself. In March 2016 I took my wee black cat Armand to the Vet as, always a little wheezy, he was coughing much more than usual. He had eaten a full breakfast and played with his ball so I wasn't particularly worried. He died on the Vets table after being given a mild sedative and oxygen to help with his breathing, a massive cancer in his little chest, his lungs full of fluid, slowly drowning him. I went to pieces. A week later, I noticed my beautiful silver and white small cat Cody, was rapidly losing weight, she was diagnosed with kidney disease at the age of 8yrs and died exactly a month to the day after Armand. Yet up to that point, she had shown no symptoms, indeed had bounced around the house like Tigger, even leaping onto my shoulder while I ironed, my back if I knelt down, good appetite. I tell you this only to help ease your pain. Cody was such a gentle, loving little lady, loved everyone even the Vet. He would always say 'here she is, as good as gold' even at her last moments BUT nobody, and I mean nobody could get her to take medication. She was rehydrated over 3 days, looked much better, but rapidly went downhill. Oh how I beat myself up, came here for support, couldn't forgive myself for trying to make her swallow the awful pastes and pills over her last, miserable few days, She was so small, soft, trusting, with a delicate wee mouth. She wasted away to nothing. I left her alone on her last 2 days, couldn't bear her losing her trust in me. My dear, you did exactly the right,most loving thing for Thomas. He was dying, couldn't be saved, you eased his pain. You showed courage and love, Thomas was one lucky cat

Issi

xxxx

Josief
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby Josief » Thu Jul 27, 2017 8:44 am

I can't thank you all enough for your replies which have brought tears each time, for Thomas and also for your own losses (in such similar circumstances for some), but at the same time feeling so thankful to find people who understand.

I am trying so hard to be positive for the life I gave him and not beat myself up or dwell on what I couldn't but it is so tough. Last night I was convinced I heard him in the kitchen eating his biscuits and then I had my first dream about him being alive...

Forever grateful for your support xxx

Josief
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby Josief » Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:07 pm

Feel things are getting worse, not easier...

alanc
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby alanc » Mon Jul 31, 2017 8:24 pm

Really feel for you, Josie. There are bad days, but they gradually get fewer.

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bobbys girl
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby bobbys girl » Mon Jul 31, 2017 10:07 pm

You have suffered a bereavement. They affect all of us in different ways. It takes time. If you want to talk about it we are here, we understand. If you don't want to talk about it, we are still here, thinking about you. (Hugs)

vanilla
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby vanilla » Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:58 pm

So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my gentle Alfie in April this year. He was 10 yrs old and had colon cancer and I had to put him to sleep :(

Josief wrote:Last night I was convinced I heard him in the kitchen eating his biscuits and then I had my first dream about him being alive...


It sounds like Thomas visited you and he was telling you that he is doing well and he is okay.... You gave him lots of love and care during his 6yrs with you. It is a shock when they leave so early. I had expected another 6yrs for my Alfie but alas there are things that are beyond our control...

Ali J
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Re: Absolute mess...

Postby Ali J » Sun Aug 06, 2017 3:20 pm

Dear Josief

Thank you so much for your post on the 27th July 2017, sorry for the delay in responding but I found it too hard to come back to the site until now.

I am also still finding it very hard, still crying every day and just wish I could see him again.

Please know that I am thinking of you at this time.

God bless, Ali


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